This one made me think...

I ran across this article today about a journalist (Lenore Skenazy) who left her 9 year old in Bloomingdale's in New York City to find his way home via subway alone. [Evidently the kid had been begging to make his way home from anywhere for months]. At first, my response is, whoa! not sure that I'd try that! But upon reflection, I'm thinking, here is a kid who has grown up riding the subway, and will probably know how to get home on his own. [You can read the story here: http://www.nysun.com/opinion/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone/73976/ ]. He did, get home safe and sound, by the way.

Of course, as I usually do, I framed this as a parent of a child with autism. It's thought provoking really.

• What can my child do independently?
• How will I know if I don't let him try?
• What am I willing to risk?
• Do I know what he can hande?

Obviously, I wouldn't leave him to his own devices in New York City, but I am striving to find the balance. The right amount of independence for him with the appropriate amount of control and support. Am I too controlling? Probably. Do I give him a variety of options? I try. Still, I'm left thinking about this...wondering just how dangerous life can be in Churubusco, Indiana!

"My mom is cool!"

Tonight, in the van on the way home from running errands, Jackson busts out in this rap:

"I love my mom, my mom is really cool. But now it's time for having fun in school."

Of course, I was thinking how sweet it was and feeling a bit smug. Dan prompted him to change the verse to include "dad". Then Cal informs us that Jax learned this from Sid the Science Kid on PBS. Well, it's still very sweet, right? ;)

Aha!

In the past couple of months, Jax has been making 'random' comments about 'bonen'...we have had no idea what exactly he was talking about. The 'conversations would go something like this:

J: "you go to Bonen"
M: "where do you want to go?"
J: "to Bonen"
M: "where is Bonen"
J: "Wubbzy wants to go to Bonen"
M: "What will Wubbzy do?"
J: "Go to Bonen"

It was more than a bit frustrating! Yesterday, Jackson is on the computer; his favorite sites are pbskids and YouTube. While on the pbskids site, he linked to the Boeing website. Yep, Boeing as in, the big airplanes. In fact, today when I went to log on, he had 12 windows open, all of them for Boeing jets. Now I know, when he talks about Bonen, he's referring to Boeing and really just wants to fly on a plane...

As the Super Slueths would say, "Another mystery is history!"

Holiday Hustle

Well, we have 5 down and 2 to go!
Jackson is actually doing remarkably well.
This morning he was thrilled to finally get Horton Hears a Who from Santa. Of course, he was less into the DVD and more about the plush Horton beanie baby that came with it.
All in all the day was a big success and he handled the to and fro quite well...probably better than I did (lol).
This evening he's enjoying the drum set we got for him and his brother and coloring the Super Why pages he got in one of his gifts. All is right with the world, for now...

hmmm.....

Well, I know that Jackson is thrilled to be out of school, but I'm not so sure myself...
The weather has been yucky and we've all been couped up or hustling about. Jackson's anxiety is growing and we aren't even four days into break....I'm certain the holiday has something to do with it, but I'm growing weary of encouraging him...and reminding him what comes next. He's such a creature of habit.

We went for haircuts today. That's a bright spot to celebrate, as I remember a time when we literally had to hold him down for a haircut. Now, he willingly sits in the chair and patiently lets the barber (who is wonderfully patient himself), clipper cut his hair. I need to remind myself of the accomplishments when I'm bogged down by the monotony of it all.

More to come I'm sure....I'm thinking I ought to go back and re-read posts from this time last year...

Kermit's Christmas Show

Last night, the whole family snuggled in to watch the Muppets Christmas show. Jackson absolutely loved it! The beginning of the show had Scooter, Rizzo, Gonzo and Kermit at a post office, and Jackson was really excited saying, "Post Office Box 166" which, of course, is his PO box #. How wonderful to have him associate the post office emblem with his mail. I'm so glad we spent the money for that box and I'm especially grateful to those relatives who keep him excited about his mail (Aunty Trish, Great-Aunt Judy and Grandma, among others). The show was cute and included some musical numbers that Jackson enjoyed...

We had a fun night watching the program, but then had trouble getting the boys to bed...

Just one more week 'til Christmas, and if the weather comes in like it's predicted, I'm guessing our Winter Break will start a day early. [Of course, since I published that, I've jinxed it for sure!]

Komet Hockey!!!

Dan got tickets to last night's Komet game at work. I figured we'd go and see part of the game and get home at a decent hour. Well, Jackson decided we weren't leaving until the absolute end of the game. Never mind that the Komets were down 2 goals with less than 2 minutes to go. Never mind that we had church in the morning and it was past 10pm. Never mind that we'd have to fight the crowd to get out of the parking lot....

Actually, I was happy to stay with him. It warms my heart to have him enjoy something as simple as a hockey game. It's a gift--we can enjoy the game just like most families with a few quirky exceptions. [One being his connection with the older gentlemen sitting behind us, whom he high-fived like he knew him?] We all had a great time, though Cal was ready to come home before the game was over. Even though the Komets lost, it was a win for us!

Christopher Columbus

Jackson just completed his 3 projects about an explorer. We chose Columbus because Jackson was born on Columbus Day (and I knew I could modify the assignment and make it work for Columbus). I'm' really proud of how it turn out...I should have taken a picture of the Santa Maria diagram he did. He also created a short timeline of Columbus's first sailing. His third project was a very brief biography in book form (with picture to help him "read" the book). I'm really excited that he's learning some grade level content this year...though it is really modified, I'm excited that his teacher is willing to work with us and help expose him to some new concepts!

Oh Christmas Tree!

I really enjoy putting the tree up each year...especially since Jackson has come to love it so much. When he was a baby we started buying a Hallmark series of ornaments: NHL hockey players...I thought it was a great way for him to have his "own" ornaments, unfortunately, Hallmark stopped the series after 5 players (guess they couldn't come up with more than 5?) This year was especially fun, both boys were VERY excited about the ornaments and the tree. (Cal was worried about who had more ornaments...) It was all fun and good until the cat knocked the tree down!

Here are a couple of photos:



Cal puts the Star on top; Jack makes sure Elmo is just right...

Bedtime

Jackson hates going to bed lately. He greatly prefers, "movie night" which means he gets to sleep on the floor and watch a movie under his bed. [Cal likes to have movie night too]. We've been putting them to bed around 8:30...is that too early for an 11 year old? I guess I don't know... He generally comes out and hangs out for a few minutes on the couch, then goes to bed--though not with out protest.

Holiday Lights

Last night we went down town to see the cool Santa Light display that is hung on the bank building every year. We also went through the Fantasy of Lights display. Jackson had such a wonderful time...it's so cool when he gets excited about a "tradition". Driving through the Fantasy of Lights he did his usual play by play--"Look at the Pizza man" "Look at the Mastodon" "Here comes Woody" It's nice for us to have those words and know that he's enjoying himself...

Child's Play

Every now and then, the boys start playing together...it's rare, but heartwarming when it happens. The other night, Jax reached out to Cal and initiated wrestling (Cal's favorite thing to do!) Right now, they're jumping on my bed together (which I totally shouldn't let them do, but will anyway)...

Church Directory Pictures

We had our church directory pictures tonight. They really did NOT go well...I don't know if it was the flashing of the lights or the sounds or what, but Jax was freaking out....we got there a few minutes early and he was cool, peeking in at the other family getting photos taken. He seemed fine to leave "pirate big bird" in the chair watching. THEN, the photographer started posing us and after the first shot snapped, he really lost it...we struggled through 3 more shots which just got progressively worse and then I called it quits. I refuse to torture my son and he was obviously distressed. He was stimming and going into meltdown mode....
He wasn't distressed until they started shooting, so all I can figure is it was the lights or something.... The photographer was of minimal help...didn't try to engage him or anything, he acted like he didn't know what to do.
This is our 4th time taking church photos and tonight was a bad as the first time we did it when he was just over 2...that time was a debacle he was literally terrified...He did much better at 6....and even better at 8. Actually, last time we were able to get pictures of the boys together and I dropped $150 on Olan Mills photos....
I was actually crying reviewing the proofs...he looked scared and pained in the pics....Dan had left with the boys to pick up a pizza and I was left with the OM salesman. I wasn't ready for how bad they looked...the salesman was a retired Free Methodist Minister from Chicago...he was very, very kind hearted and actually prayed with me for Jax which I never expected from an OM salesman (if you've ever done these directories you know they push the hard sell...) Well, tonight was a reminder that autism is a big part of our family...and I've got the insomnia to prove it...

Showers!

I don't know if it's the colder weather, or just Jackson seeking sensory input, but lately he's taking 3 or 4 showers a day! Using a new towel each time--not to mention the hot water! I really need to work on finding more sensory input for him...especially now that he's stuck inside so much more...and he's hesitant in the swing we hung in the garage since the last one broke while he was swinging in it! More to come...

Reading!

This year, Jackson's teacher is doing Book-It. It's kind of nice to have that reminder hanging on the fridge that we need to get in at least 10 minutes a night...which with Jackson that can be especially tricky, considering that he reads very simple books that take less than one minute to read...
Well, tonight I brought some books home from school, just to add variety to what we already have (and by the way have been reading for 3 years!) I was very pleased with how well he did. In fact, tonight after reading some of the "new" books, he wanted to sit and read the No David!books together. He's been "reading" these books for years, but it's always a joy to hear him read them...he has great expression!

There was a time I wasn't sure he'd learn to read...now I'm certain that he's going to get there, but his journey toward literacy has been more like a marathon!!!

Alex's Birthday

Saturday we celebrate Alex's birthday. Dan brought Jackson later, because we felt like being there too long would be stressful. Overall, we were so very pleased with how he did...he played outside (alongside) the little boys and seemed to really enjoy it.

He also had a great time going to the movies to watch Madagascar 2. He loved the first movie and we were hopeful he'd enjoy going to the theatre. It was a big success. Another example of getting back a little bit of what autism took away. There was a time that a theatre was just too overwhelming for him, too much stimulus. But not this weekend. He sat between Dan & I and just enjoyed the movie. Tonight, happiness is being able to go to the movies as a family!

Trick or Treat

Friday night we took the boys trick or treating. Usually there are a dozen or so houses participating in our neighborhood area and we don't walk more than a few blocks.
This year, the participants were scarce, I don't know if it was due to the football game or what, but we ended up walking up town, to the fire station and beyond. Jackson had a great time trick or treating and it truly felt like a small victory to me.

It doesn't seem like it was that long ago, that I bought him the $40 Buzz Lightyear Costume at Disney only to have him freak out and not want to wear it or have ANYTHING to do with Halloween. I'm pretty sure that was the year he turned 2...he slept through Halloween the year he was 3. Finally the year he was 4, we dressed him up as a cowboy and he tolerated it a bit more....a couple of years ago, he rode his 2 wheeler dressed as kermit the frog...and of course this year he's thrilled to be Spiderman!

All this rambling really boils down to how wonderful it was for us to be able to enjoy the evening as a family. Everyone had a good time, and it's now a happy memory!

Schedules!

We've been totally out of routine lately! Between 'Busco's parent/teacher and ours, let's just say, Jackson hasn't known which way is up! He's actually adjusted amazingly well and just had one major meltdown...when he did, I was surprised to realize how long it had been since he'd had a full blown meltdown.

I'm ready for the break and hoping he adjusts...
We'll trick or treat tomorrow night....

Trick or Treat at School

We just returned from the safe trick or treat at school.
I decided to go at the last minute when Cal came outside in his Power Ranger costume as I was raking leaves.
We didn't emphasize we'd be going to the "school". Jackson loves being Spiderman, so he put on his costume and walked up to school!
Lucky for us, we had friends closer to the front of the line and Jackson did great...I'm very proud of him. He actually remembered doing this in the past (we've only been one other time because of how much he HATES going back up to school) and wanted to "go this way". Asking to go to the main corridor of the school. That was cool too! :)

Great Photos!

Jackson is very difficult to photograph. We have many pics of him that just seem unnatural--almost pained. So, I hired a photographer to meet us at the local park and just get natural shots of both boys. Here are some of the best:

There are many more...but these are definitely my favorites!

Jackson Turns 11!

Here are photos from his skating party:

All the kids had a great time and I'm so glad we decided to go ahead and have his party at the skating rink. He really had fun skating and now Callahan has decided that he's going to have his party at the skating rink too!

This day was coming

Monday at recess there were some girls making fun of Jackson...
Actually they included the other autistic child in his class in the charade by having her say, "Jackson is my boyfriend", telling Jackson to hug her, asking Jackson to say, "I love ---". I guess this is typical kid stuff and really it didn't bother me a whole lot, largely because Jackson's guardian angel (and my little spy) Paige quickly told the recess teacher and it stopped.

These "mean girls" have been appropriately handled at the school (I think). But what makes me crazy mad is that now they're out for Paige! Honestly, for me that is even worse than what they did to Jackson.

Jackson doesn't "get" it. When they were making fun of him, it was funny to them, and they were laughing at his expense, but (Thank God) Jackson didn't understand or have his feelings hurt.

I'm really hoping this all just goes away and these girls cut the crap...time will tell.

Problem Solving

Just when I'm at my wits end with Jackson he manages to do something that surprises me and I marvel at his ability to cope...
We're getting ready to run out and pick up a pizza and I'm trying to get the boys out of the house....Jackson cannot find both his tennis shoes, so he took off his socks and put on a pair of sandals...Wow! It seems like such a small thing, but for him, it's BIG!

Tonight at the football game, friends of ours were commenting on how much more Jackson is talking and engaging others. I sometimes get lost in everyday life, and don't realize the strides he's making. Hearing others voice their observations of his gains somehow makes them real....

UGH!

Jackson really has not concept of time...he's not at all patient. It's something about him that gets on my last nerve. He just doesn't "get" it and it's a great cause for anxiety to him....

The Chinese Symbol for Hope

I've settled on this as the image for my tattoo. I'm getting quite serious about it, because a friend of mine has committed to going with me, as she's been talking about getting inked for "years" too.

It's going to be my permanent mark--illustrating that my hope for Jackson will never end.

Now, I just have to decide exactly where I'm going to put it...
So, what do you think?

Field Trip Photo Op

Here is a great photo of Jackson taken during his field trip to the soil and conservation center. I think it's a great photo! (Thanks Mrs. O'Connor!!!)

YouTube

Jackson has recently discovered YouTube...I'm not sure this is such a good thing!

He likes watching Wow Wow Wubbzy videos and has discovered that there are some Teletubbie and Sesame Street clips on there. My problem is that there are some crazies out there who think it's funny to arm the Teletubbies with Uzis or clip together an obscene video...know what I mean? So, I guess I've got to figure out if there are "parental blocks" on Youtube or if I can create a "safe" play list for him...

Hmmmm....

He's gotten up and out the door before the bus comes the past two mornings...today he even added to his lunch, though I'm not sure if he's eating more because of it.

He's got basketball camp tonight and boy scouts tomorrow! We're keeping him busy!

Random Updates

I'm just gonna take a minute to update:

1. Got this e-mail from Jackson's 3rd grade teacher

Just saw Jackson walking down the hallway with a friend. I said, "Hi Jackson!" and he stopped, looked at me, and said, "Hi Mrs. Lee." Just wanted to share :)

I love Mrs. Lee!!!!

2. Jackson started winter basketball camp tonight. We are always humbled by the kind and tender kids who influence Jackson and make time to include him. Here's to 'Busco's basketball players!

3. Dan went with Jackson on a field trip to the Soil & Conservation Center--all in all he did pretty well. Do the kids stop wanting parents to come along in 5th grade? Dan was the only parent!

4. Currently (meaning as I type this) Jackson is wearing his Spiderman costume and running in and out of the house (yes, it's past his bed time...)

Well, that's about it...(for now)

Friday Night Lights---We're Back!!

Jackson loves to go down to watch the Churubusco football games. Last night he went in his Spiderman costume. (I"ll post a picture soon!)

This year, he yells, "Go Skylar Greve" instead of "Let's Go Busco". Skylar helped him in summer football camp...for now, the games are fun; it's not too hot or cold and the boys are blowing out the other teams...we're currently undefeated!

Spiderman!

Jackson is all about dressing up as Spiderman. He likes to put on one the "red" spiderman suits (we have about 6 in all red/black). Jackson will put on the biggest one we have (which is still 2 sizes too small). He likes to see himself in the mirror as "spiderman!".

Honestly, I'm just looking so forward to a Halloween where he will dress as someone other than Kermit the Frog--which has been for the last 3 Halloweens and it was sure not to fit this year...

So, webmaster that I am, I got on line and found him a 12-14 XL Red spiderman suit...that should be here by Friday. I'll post pictures of him in it when it arrives...

Train Travels

We took the train to Chicago again yesterday. This time to celebrate baby Iris' first birthday. Jackson loves riding the train. He especially like the "L" we took to get to my sisters neighborhood. He did have some trouble adjusting to being at Aunt Rainey's house. I'm not sure if it was because they had moved from California, (we've talked w/Jax about this), or celebrating a birthday (sometimes this makes him anxious). All in all, he enjoyed playing at the park a few blocks away and seemed to enjoy baby Iris, though he was anxious to leave.

On the way home, he handled the very crowded "L" better than I ever could have expected and agian, loved the train ride home. He's had very little sleep though, which probably wasn't helpful as he is still adjusting to school "time".

The experience is definately good for him...

Music Man

Jackson really likes music. Music of any kind, really. He loves the praise band at church, Dan has turned him on to David Bowie, and of course he's a big fan of Jack's Big Music Show. He's in bed right now listening to his MP3 player happy as can be. I'm just reminded what a powerful force music is in his life!

I got to Spy Today

As I was coming home this afternoon, Jackson's class was outside. It's always exciting and nerve racking for me to observe him on the playground, but I was really pleased to see him generally involved (though he stopped to pick at flowers) and following his peers into line. Honestly, the best part was that he didn't even see me! Here is a photo his teacher sent me from this afternoon.I can't believe how BIG he looks!

The Colts Jersey

Can't believe I forgot about this!
Today when Jack got off the bus he was wearing a Colt's Jersey his friend Jhai gave him. I was so surprised since he picks out his own clothes and almost always wears character shirts!

I'm thrilled with the small things!

Adjusting

Can I just say I don't like Daylight Savings Time? It makes me crazy that I'm trying to put the boys to bed and Cal reminds me that it's 'still light out'. We could accomodate it in the summer, but now we've got school!!!

Jackson is adjusting to the school routine. It's hard for him to get in bed when it's still light out, but he's really getting worn out at school.

He's been doing FABULOUS with homework! His attention span and ability to work indpedently have improved dramatically! It's nice to give him a "homework" paper and have him be able to complete it independently.

Here He Is!!!!

We're off and running in 5th grade! Here are photos of him getting on the bus, standing next to his desk. So far, so good.

Today with Mrs. O'Conner the class did a "snowball fight". Each student wrote a clue about themselves on a piece of paper, then crumpled it into a ball. Then, they had a "snowball fight". How fun does that sound? After a few minutes, the "fight" stopped and each person picked up a "snowball" and read the clue, then had to guess who it represented. I guess Jackson had a great time and participated acceptably in this activity!!!

I'm very proud of him and so badly want to be a "fly on the wall" to see just how he handles it.

Well, 2 days down, 178 to go!!! ;-)

School Starts Tomorrow

We went to school, visited the 5th grade teacher, took pictures and made a 5th grade book. We also made a "summer vacation" photo book to share with his class and maybe illustrate what he did this summer.

Side note, WOW! We did a lot this summer: Muncie Children's Museum, Chicago Shedd Aquarium, Fun Spot Park 3x, Hocking Hills State Park--hiking, swimming, fishing, and Sesame Street!

So, I'm hoping he's prepared; praying he's not too stressed out tomorrow. He's always so anxious about change.

I've got my fingers crossed that Dan is able to get a picture of him getting on the bus.

(Did I mention I'm so very glad we decided to wait to send Cal to kindergarten? Sending them both would probably send me over the edge!)

Here's to the First Day of Fifth Grade!

5th Grade

It's starting Monday. We're thrilled with his gen ed fifth grade teacher and are keeping our fingers crossed regarding his special needs teacher. We'll have to wait to see how it all plays out. He definitely knows his days are numbered, and isn't looking forward to Monday...but I think all will go well.

We caved on Pirate Big Bird. He's going to 5th grade with Jackson. [Jack used to take about a dozen toys to school every day as "comfort items". Last year, we limited it to Arthur--DW joined him--and we talked up Arthur going to 4th grade. Well, this year it's Pirate Big Bird going to 5th grade--Elmo and Cookie too--I try to keep things age appropriate, but what can I say...I'm a softie I guess].

Keep Jackson in your prayers as he prepares to start another school year; transitions are always rough!

Round 2

We went to Fun Spot Park today with P2 (Paige & Parker). Of course we had a fabulous time, as we always do, it's a terrific little day trip. A couple of highlights:

Jackson actually requested to ride the "blue" roller coaster.

Let me try that again:

Jackson actually requested to ride the roller coaster!

I was quite surprised by it. He wanted to "ride the yellow, then ride the blue". I'm not sure exactly what to make of it, but it was a wonderful feeling riding that coaster with him!

It's always so nice to go to this park, autism isn't really a part of the picture. Jackson can just be Jack and enjoy being there. On one of the rides, the operator as especially patient and kind towards Jax. It's beyond words what that means to me!

Pirate Big Bird

Jackson has been coveting this Big Bird since we were at Sesame Place; and of course, thanks to the magic we call "ebay" he knows he can get one. A few days ago he asked me to "get pirate big bird on ebay". (ok, yes, I was thrilled with his command of language and schema to bring the idea to the table...)

Now I'm dealing with his incessant request for this toy. I told him we would ask Santa for it...So (intelligent child that he is/or creature of habit I'm not sure which) he goes to the calendar and starts, "Christmas is in December. We have to wait 'til December" But, truly, it's so abstract for him. I often group things in 3's for him, so I suggested:

• School Starts
• Jackson's Birthday
• Trick 0r Treat

THEN, Santa.

So, guess what my precious child is doing right now? Dressing up his toys to trick or treat:

POOH is wearing a ninja Turtle eye mask

KERMIT is wearing a build a bear superman cape

KIPPER is wearing a build a bear spiderman costume

PIGLET is dressed as batman

It's actually comical. Honestly, at times like this, autism is either heartbreaking or heartwarming. For me, it's heartwarming today. I love that the idea of trick or treat has sparked a tiny bit of imagination.

Just another day in paradise! As for the big bird, I'll probably end up bidding on it....

New Fridge!

We just got a new bottom freezer refrigerator delivered. (Jackson actually went with Dan to pick it out). Now Jackson seems confused, he likes the new fridge, but keeps asking me to, "put it back". I don' t know if he's talking about the old fridge or maybe the food that we put in the old fridge--maybe he thinks it should be in the new fridge...I'm not sure.

He's getting very settled into a morning routine revolving around PBS kids morning shows: Super Why, Dragon Tales, Word World, and of course Sesame Street. He doesn't sit and watch the entire episode of any of these shows, I think it's just comforting for him to have them in. He generally bounces back and forth between the TV, computer and his basketball goal....These are truly the dog days of summer where our days have minimal routine or schedule. I know it's difficult for him, but he's hanging with it. Today we rode bikes to Magic Wand for ice cream. Then he asked to go to the park.

I've started a school countdown, but it's pretty upsetting to him (it probably is to most 10 year olds...). We'll have to really dig in next week, make arrangement to visit his 5th grade teacher, [OMG, can he really be in 5th grade already?] take pictures and get all his supplies around...

Michael Savage on Autism

I'm way late on the take here, but this is worth some thought. This
is a good synopsis of Savage's comments on autism and the aftermath from
abc.com:

Savage, who in the past, has taken aim at the legitimacy of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and other behavioral disorders, called autism a "fraud" and a "racket" during his July 16 broadcast, adding that "[i]n 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out." In light of strong public reaction to his statements, Savage issued a statement, further explaining his comments.
"My comments about autism were meant to boldly awaken parents and children to the medical community's attempt to label too many children or adults as 'autistic'," the statement read.
"Just as some drug companies have overdiagnosed 'ADD' and 'ADHD' to peddle dangerous speed-like drugs to children as young as 4 years of age, this cartel of doctors and drug companies is now creating a national panic by overdiagnosing 'autism,' for which there is no definitive medical diagnosis!"
In a response to ABC News' request for comment, Mark Masters, the CEO of Talk Radio Network, sent the same statement that had been posted on Savage's Web site.

So what do you think? Honestly, I've listened to Savage on occasion
before. He's got some strong opinions, some of which I agree with, others
I don't. Was this comment out of line? Absolutely, living with
autism everyday, I can tell you that I would be so very happy if I could just
tell Jax to , "cut the act". Sadly, it's not that simple.

Should Savage be fired for his comments? Sponsors are dropping like flies. Definately, he crossed the line and should apologize. He has (see here for more: http://www.savageonautism.com/ ).

I'm not a supporter or a regular listener; however, I am troubled that Savage
is being harassed by many people that haven't ever listened to any of his show
and are crucifying him based on these comments. I don't take the comments
lightly, but I've listened to enough of Savage to know to take them with a grain
of salt, so to speak...

So, what do you think of these comments?

Take me out to the ballgame!

Dan & I are playing on a coed softball team this summer. We are really having a good time and it's nice that Jackson (and Cal) are able to be semi-independent in the park while we're playing. The first week we played, after the game we got pizza. So guess what we have every Sunday night now?

Today, Jackson kept asking for pizza and wanted to "go play t-ball" or "go to the park". Of course, I had to get out the calendar and show him when Sunday would be here...

Uncle Dave

Dan took the boys to Uncle Dave's apartment yesterday. The kids both love it there! Jackson has decided that every time they go to Dave-O's they get pizza. So they had fun hanging out playing Nintendo 64 and eating pizza with Uncle Dave. :D

Vacation!

What a week! I guess the photos are coming up first...(L to R: Jax hugs Bert during a private meet and greet before the parade, Cal on Big Bird Little Rapids, Jax and Bert during our breakfast with the characters.)

I think we're just getting settled into being at home.

Last Wednesday we drove to an Ohio state park south of Columbus to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday (a month early) with all 4 of my sisters and their families. We all had a great time. It was so much fun to just all be together hanging out--I'm so glad we all made the effort to be there. (I'll get those photos up next time...)

Jackson knew that we were going to Sesame "Street" for vacation. So at first, the "stop" in Hocking Hills was more than he could take. But, once he could get into the pool and learned to manipulate his way to Wal-Mart for a toy, he settled in OK. The area is absolutely gorgeous and you could probably spend weeks there hiking if you wanted. Jackson even got into the hiking, with the proper motivator. I was quite proud of his hiking ability. He also made a cool connection in "Ash Cave" noticing it looked like, "Aladar is here". I was impressed with his "schema" and the ability to transfer that...the cave definitely looked like a set from the Dinosaur movie.

Of course, once we got to Sesame Place, he was totally in his element. He was all about Bert. He gave him the biggest hug ever. We bribed him into riding the Grover roller coaster, but once was enough (though I think Cal rode it 10 times!). We enjoyed the parade and managed to get a private meet and greet before the parade on Tuesday. Jackson really had a great time and of course, the rest of the family did too!

I'm posting a couple of photos....

Fireworks

Life has been very hectic lately, I cannot believe I haven't made this entry sooner.

Most years on the 4th of July we head up to Michigan to spend the weekend with Dan's sister Lauralee. Both boys love visiting her house and for our kids it's like a luxury hotel--there's a heated pool and boat rides. You get the picture.

This year, Uncle Fred didn't take the boat out until it was time for the fireworks display. The fireworks display is something Jackson usually skips, it's way too loud and overwhelming to him. This year, we knew Callahan would want to go out to watch the fireworks and just made plans for Dan to stay back with Jackson. Evidently, this year, Jackson had different plans. He really wanted to go on that boat ride because he was all about going even if it involved fireworks. We cautiously took him, with our fingers crossed and hoping he wouldn't freak out too much. We were shocked that he actually enjoyed the fireworks. The loud booms were hard for him to get used to and he kept his ears covered (he even asked for his earphones!). We are fortunate to have a few great photos that illustrate his joy.

Once again, we got something back. A piece of family time and treasured memories. I'm so very proud of my son!

Dad's Entry

Here is an e-mail I got from Dan this morning; thought it was worth sharing:

Jackson had 2 of those individual pizzas in the oven when I got into the
kitchen. He actually had the oven on, had each pizza on a pan on separate
shelves and had put extra cheese on each pizza. I turned up the oven
to 425 from 350 and hopped in the shower. When I got out, there was a pan
on the stove top and Jack was starting to cut the pizza. He must have used
a towel or one of the rubber things. How cool is that?

Grandpa's Diet Mountain Dew

My dad was over tonight, leaving off some fireworks for the boys--who are both crazy about them! Dad had his usual drink, a diet Mountain Dew; Jackson did his usual trick of sneaking his drink away and draining it. It's like a ritual for him, when he sees grandpa, he'll look for his diet mountain dew. Most times, he commandeers the drink and all bets are off; even when dad is drinking the "green pop" from a glass of ice, Jackson has a way of finding it and finishing it before Dad has the chance to get another drink. :) Here's to you Grandpa!

Methaphor-the puzzle piece symbol

Ever had one of those "ah-ha" moments? I'm driving down the road today, pondering Jackson's recent successes--boyscout camp and football camp. It occurred to me that each experience gave me back a piece of Jackson. [I'm not doing a very good job explaining this...]

When we learned about Jackson's diagnosis, so many dreams were snuffed out. We no longer thought about our son becoming an athlete, a scholar, or even a friend. We thought in much smaller terms:
"how many words does he have?"
"did he learn a new sign"
"is he reaching out to us?"
"that's playing pretend, isn't it?"
Our perspective as parents permanently changed. It's like we had this complete picture of our child and autism fractured it--into a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.

Each day little by little, we get pieces of the puzzle back. It'll never be complete, never the same as we expected, but there will be parts that will come together.

Like when he participated in the school music program, enjoyed boyscout camp, rode the roller coaster and attended football camp. Bit by bit, we get pieces of what we expected back.

Of course, the flip side of this is all the joys we gain from Jackson that we never expected in spite of the autism, but that's another post my friends....

Football!

This week is football camp. We were fortunate that an older football player was willing to "shadow" Jackson during his first attempt to play football. This summer camp was geared toward drills and minimal contact, so we thought it would be a good place for Jax to start. After consulting the coach, we decided to try it.

We sent him Monday with 5 different phone numbers and money for McDonalds after camp. We warned Skyler that Jack may not want to even try and that was ok, "if you're uncomfortable don't worry about sending him home"...no harm no foul.

When they met me at the sitter Monday, he had done really well. Skyler said he did great ;). We got reports from other boys that Jack learned to throw a football and enjoyed hitting the "dummies" (I'm sure there is some technical term for the fake line, but I don't know it). I was thrilled that he managed to make it through without a meltdown and ever so grateful for Skyler Jackson couldn't have participated successfully without his support.

Tuesday went just as well and today he even participated in the "flickerball" game where the team moves the ball down the field through a series of passes. (Skyler did the passing). When the sitter dropped Jack off for camp, he said, "here comes Skyler" and then kind of high fived Skyler on the chest. Somehow, he's managed to have a great week and enjoys football and all the credit goes to this more than cool high school junior, who tells me its no big deal.

It is a big deal. It's bigger than big! Jackson is able to hang out and enjoy this on his level. He's truly gaining independence and asserts his sense of humor more and more.

I'm once again humbled by the support in our community. There truly aren't word for what a blessing it is.

Bribery and Before and After

I am certain that at some point in my adult life, I believed that bribery was the lowest form of parenting a person could stoop too. Well, now I know better!

We went to Fun Spot Park today--Jackson, Callahan and I took Darren along. In June, if you bring an A/B report card you get in free. (Quite a savings at $16 per kid!) Have to side note here that they even acknowledged Callahan's Nursery School Report, which made him feel like a big boy and totally shocked me! Seriously, the staff at the park is fabulous. It's a clean, neat small amusement park and zoo definitely worth the drive for a day trip...

Ok, back the the bribery.

Jackson was very excited to be back at the park this season. He immediately wanted to go to the arcade to "play games" which meant he really wanted to check out he loot in the "store" where they exchange awarded game tickets for trinkets. Anyway, we rode a couple of rides then stopped at the gift shop for a camera. [His speech therapist suggested using actually photos to help him with some of his verbal skills, so I'm trying to document more this summer]. Of course, while we're in the gift shop, all the boys have to get something. For Jackson it was "Lumpy" from the My Friends Tigger & Pooh series. He also wanted Pooh, Tigger, and Eyore, but mom's not made of money.

Not having Pooh really upset him; while Cal & Darren waited to ride the Zyclone (roller coaster) Jackson sat on a side bench and was very "stimmy" [talking to himself, flapping a bit, not out of control, but definitely not happy]. Well, after waiting 5 minutes, Cal is turned away and devastated because he is not tall enough to ride; meanwhile, Jackson is tall enough but refuses to step foot on the coaster...
Jackson continues to badger me all morning long about the Pooh, though he sorts himself out enough to have fun. Even after lunch and our visit to the zoo, he was still on the "Pooh" kick. As we headed toward a ride he said, "you go over there after this." At first I didn't get it, but then I realized he was trying to communicate another way that he wanted to buy Pooh. (Instead of saying, "we'll get you Pooh next time" or "Ride the swings, swim, get Pooh"). Honestly, it gets so annoying repeatedly telling him no. Which isn't just "no" by the way, I have to say, "no, we are not getting you Pooh today" because if I don't he'll repeat his statement literally 100 times until I respond like he expects me to... Cal does the same kind of thing, but he'll stop pestering after a while, not Jax, he'll formulate 10 ways to "ask" for it. [Does this kid know the power of words, or what?]

Soooo....I was just sick of how "Pooh" was dominating our day and I decided to put an END to the whole subject. I said, "Jackson, if you ride the blue roller coaster I'll get you Pooh" thinking there is no way he'll ride the coaster and we can get on with the day...but damn if he didn't walk right up to the line for the Zyclone and wait his turn with Darren.

Unfortunately, the Zyclone broke down before they could get on.

This was a real moment of angst for me: how could I get him to wait? They said it would be 30 minutes, so I distracted him with a few other rides; extending his wait for the coveted Pooh even longer. We fiddled around here and there and finally ended up waiting in front of the coaster an additional 20 minutes for Jackson and Darren to ride.

And then my son plopped himself into the cart and away they went. For another fleeing moment autism vanished and there was my son riding a roller coaster, smiling, laughing and screaming with Darren.

Then he got off and we bought Pooh.

So, the point of the post? The power of bribery. Before bribing Jackson with Pooh, he wouldn't have set a foot on that coaster, he'd sit and wait patiently for others to ride it, but there was no way he was getting on. He wanted Pooh bad enough to "step right up" and he even waited over an hour to do so! :-)

Have to share a quick Cal note...

Cal rode the water slide for the first time today. I convinced him it was the same as Splash Universe and he hesitantly (with a life jacket) made his way up, then down the slide. On our third ascent (though I couldn't ride with him, I had to walk him up each time) as he was waiting his turn, he said to me, "When I was four, I was such an idiot. This is so much fun! Dad was right, I should have tried to slide when I was four". Gotta love the "normal" child!!!

Boy Scout Camp

This week Jackson has been attending boy scout camp with an older scout helping him. Dan drops him off with Michael for camp and I pick them up after lunch.
I have to say that it is amazing and truly a sign of Jackson's maturity that he'll go to camp and hang out with Michael. [Did I mention how incredibly thankful I am for Michael?]
He seems to be enjoying himself...I'm hoping it's a good sign that [fingers crossed here] next week he'll do just as well at Football camp...only time will tell.
For now, I'm pleased that he's enjoying Boy Scout camp!

Summer Rituals

We usually ride bikes to the Magic Wand at least once a week in the summer. The boys love going for the ice cream and I hope it's something they'll remember fondly.

Today, while I was cleaning out the garage, Callahan was desperate for someone to swim with. Luckily for me, Matt drove by with Taylor and Jeremiah who were both happy to hang out with the boys for a while. After I'd finished the garage, we were ready to start on a walk to McDonald's for some ice cream when our neighbor stopped to let the boys know a turtle was crossing the street if they were interested...are you kidding, my boys and a reptile, bet you can see where it ended up...we now have a resident turtle on our front porch. I think his name is "Racy Leonardo" but it depends on Cal's mood...I'm hoping to keep him alive and healthy enough to compete in Turtle Day's Turtle races next week. Perfect timing!

Once we settled the turtle we headed off on the walk toward McDonald's (which is actually right across the street from the Magic Wand, but decidedly less expensive). It was great weather, not too hot, but just hot enough to make the thought of ice cream at the end of the walk worth the effort of getting there. As we walked, Jeremiah entertained Callahan--who was thrilled to have a "big boy" engaging and rough-housing with him. As we neared the post office parking lot, I asked Jeremiah to hold on to Cal's hand until we crossed the few lots in a row. Cal didn't bat an eye at holding his hand. A couple of blocks later, Jeremiah instinctively took Cal's hand as they crossed one of the side blocks and I just about started to cry.

It was one of my "glimpse" moments, only a very sad one. For a fleeting moment I imagined the kind of big brother Jackson would be [believe me, he is a fabulous big brother, but there are things autism takes without asking and well, that moment illustrated it for me]. Until today, I never considered Jackson as an older brother without autism. Cal's whole life--even before he was conceived--autism has been a factor.

Watching Jeremiah hold his hand and seeing Cal so thoughtlessly taking it; trusting it--was heartbreaking. Another page in our book of autism...

In the end, Jackson had a great time at McDonald's. We all did, and I tried not to give much thought to it. Life is too short to dwell on the heartbreak. [Right now, tonight though, I'll shed a few tears and allow myself another moment of grief...]

Out of Sorts

I know when I go back and review previous posts, that Jackson always has trouble with change in routine and I usually vent about it here... It's been especially difficult lately as school is out for summer and our sitter is on vacation so everyday brings something new...I know this is good for him and keeps him out of his "comfort zone"; but that doesn't make it easy!

Next week is boy scout camp, hopefully that'll improve things!

WOW! Spelling!

We were at the lake today to celebrate a graduation in the family with Dan's parents. While waiting for a boat ride (and to keep his mind off the stuffed animals he was obsessed with) I started having Jackson follow familiar requests:

"Touch your nose"
"Touch your knees"
"When is your birthday?"
"Where do you live?"
-----"Spell zoo"----
This begins a list of words which Jackson spelled without any thought:
zoo, jumps, boy, (these he's been able to spell for a while) but then he spells: cat, dog, mom, dad, Jackson, barn, shark!!!!
WOW!!
We were all very impressed. Just had to share it!

baby doll "barber" chair

Dan bought a baby doll barber chair at the church rummage sale this morning. [Technically, it's a baby doll beauty chair, but Dan calls it a barber chair... ;-) ]. I had my doubts, but of course Jackson is going to town with it, putting in every stuffed animal for it's turn for a hair cut. He draped the Spider man sheet over Ernie and even went after a pair of scissors...not so fast! Last time he got scissors we all know what happened to his hair.

This is just a very big deal for us. We've spent years obsessing about Jackson's ability to "play-pretend". This is as good as it gets, but it's very touching, heartwarming and encouraging for us. So who cares if it's a baby doll beauty chair, right?

The Rock Wall

Dan took Jackson Sunday afternoon to a local entertainment complex with the boy scouts. He had a good time playing putt-putt golf, riding go-carts and he climbed the rock wall!!! This is just such a big accomplishment for him! I'm so very impressed that he put on the helmet and other gear to climb, then just made his way up, listening to Dan's cues to "grab the green, use the green ones buddy". He made it up about 15 feet before yelling, "Daddy, help me!" Even then, he let go and held on as he was lowered to the ground.

Victory!

High expectations yields positive results. This is precisely why we've fought to keep him with his peers. It's beginning to pay off.

science homework

Jackson is to memorize this line for science class:

"A delta is always growing and changing."

We've practiced it for a couple of days. Tonight when prompted, "A delta..." He responded, "is always going and crazy." then he laughed....

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll get it right tomorrow.

Home Alone

I mowed the lawn this afternoon. Of course, when I got out the mower the gas tank was empty and so were our gas cans [at $4 a gallon, I might just be letting my grass grow!] So, I holler at the boys to get in the truck so we can run up to the corner gas station to fill up. Jackson was not at all interested in going. "You stay here. I'll be right back" (notice the incorrect use of pronouns). I knew it would take less than 5 minutes and I alerted the neighbor lady. Then...I left him home alone! OK, some of you might be freaking out right now, but ask yourself, would you leave your 10 year old alone for 15 minutes? I'm guessing you would. So, I'm extremely proud of him--it's a huge step towards independence. [Even though a safety net was in place]. We've got to start somewhere, this is a small step toward that greater end.

Advocating

I'm pondering this tonight...what does it mean to advocate for my son? Sometimes it means making tough choices--can I stand to watch him flounder? will he make it?

Advocating means making the best choices for my son. I've got just one shot at this. I have to make every day count. When I read success stories or think about other disabled adults who are functioning in society now, there is a common thread: high expectations.

Never lowering the bar; instead, moving it up inch by inch always reaching, striving for the next level. Would I put my son in a place I know he'll fail? Never! Would I stretch him beyond his comfort level? You bet! Would I provide him a soft place to fall? Absolutely. Who knows this child better than I? It's maddening when "professionals" presume they know what is best for my son. I'm so curious to know, "do you have a special needs child? Do you know the challenge of caring for one? Have you walked in my shoes? Do you know my struggles?" Absolutely not, so stop trying to convince me that you know what is best for him. You're living in theory and programs. I'm living in life and ever after.

So, I'll advocate like a lioness. I'll defend my sons rights with passion and without humility.

"I have no time for fairy tales; I'm not a little girl" Gwen Stefani, No Doubt with Elvis Costello.

Insomnia & Indianapolis

It's way past midnight and I can't sleep (again). The good news is that Jackson is sleeping!
Jackson went on a field trip today to Indianapolis. Dan went along and said it was a great trip and Jackson made him proud. (He also had a headache from the noise on the bus....)

Soccer Practice

Cal had soccer practice last Thursday night. Jackson saw the older kids practicing on a nearby field and decided to join them. He really wanted no part of practicing with the "little" kids. How wonderful for us that he is attending to his peers and participating with little support. How grateful we continue to be for people who are so inclusive and encouraging!

"Word World"

Have you ever seen this show on PBS? Man, I love PBS, too bad it's soo da*n liberal!

Jackson' loves the "Word World" show, DVD, and Website. Today at Target he found the stuffed characters that go with the program. Dan dropped $30 on two....

The show is animated and all the characters/animals are illustrated using the letter forms that make up the words. Like the pig you see above. It seems to be helping his phonics skills progress beyond the first letter sound, so that's a plus....

Until next time...

If I could-

take the autism out of Jackson would I? It's a profound (relatively moot) question. My gut reaction and answer are always the same. Yes, in a heartbeat. My son has so much potential, so much to give, so much of life to live. In a heartbeat I'd sign up for the surgery, or wait in line for the procedure; beg, borrow and steal to "fix" him.

Some people wonder why we don't chase down every "cure", or investigate more thoroughly some therapies. My answer is simple and complex. If ever the day comes that my son is able to communicate with me in a "neuro-typical" way, I pray that he'll say, "Thanks mom. Thanks for letting me be "autistic" but encouraging me to reach out to others. Thanks for ignoring my stims, but immersing me with my peers. Thanks for embracing my differences while pressing me forward an inch at a time. Thanks for remembering I'm just a kid, like any other and I need to grow, develop and shine in my own time and way." In essence, I need to hear, "thanks for letting me be true to myself".

I go through these periods of self-doubt where I question if we've followed the right path for him. This I know to be true, the world isn't separate and equal. He has to be able to function in the world, not in a world set up just for him....

Haircut update:

Since our barber isn't in on Monday's and the local back-up is closed then too. I called my dad's wife and she agreed to fix Jackson's hair....that way he wouldn't go to school with the fancy doo!
I was so very proud of him...he sat in the chair and let Theresa use the clippers to "fix" his reverse mohawk. This is something that never would have happened a few years ago. We're so very proud of him---and especially thankful to Theresa!

He cut his hair, but he's a movie star!

Last night, I trimmed the few stray hairs around Jackson's ears that the barber missed last weekend. He was less than thrilled with this, but tolerated it. He has come a very long way with regard to getting his hair cut...this morning, he decided to cut his own hair. He's done this just one other time (while at the beauty shop) and the last time it was cute. [I actually silently celebrated it because it was such a normal thing to do at the time...] Well, this time, it's not so cute and I'm going to have to take him in and have it buzzed off so that it doesn't look like he's missing a chunk of hair...at least it's just hair. It'll grow back...

Today was children's Sunday at church. Cal sang with his other kids from Nursery school (very cute!) and our pastor showed the tribute video of Jackson. It was really moving and everyone responded so positively to us...Jackson just asked to watch it again (surprise, surprise). After the service someone commented to Jackson, "You're a movie star" he proceeded to hug himself and say, "I'm a movie star" and then later, "Jackson's a movie star"--cute. Watching the video I'm full of a mix of emotions, sadness, pride, fear, anger: a whole range of emotions. Dan talked to a guy after church relatively new to our community who has a lot of experience working with kids with autism, so we're hoping to keep in touch with him...Again, we were reminded of the incredible community we're fortunate to be a part of.

For years I've said that Jackson is going to be whatever God intended him to be; today I felt a sureness about that and knew it within my soul.....

Complexities

Being a parent is complex; I'm certain I would have struggles without autism. Autism just colors and fragments my world so dramatically. I often contemplate just how different I would be as an individual without autism.

I'm certain I wouldn't be as outspoken and passionate as I am. With an urgency, I understand that I've just got one shot at this parenting thing and I've got to get it right....

Opening Day and a Birthday Party

Today was opening day for Spring sports in 'Busco. Cal is on a t-ball team and a soccer team, we spent most of the afternoon at the park. This is the first season Jackson hasn't been affiliated with a team; he seems to notice it, but I'm not sure how bothered he is by it.

Tonight we went to a surprise 40th birthday party for "Aunt Jackie". Jackson did really well overall, he really wanted to sing Happy Birthday to Aunt Jackie and wondered where the pizza was; because, hey, every kid party he's been to has pizza ;). I actually thought that was good. There were several people there, it was loud and very stimulating, but overall, he did well. It's definitely not something he could have handled a couple of years ago.

Bike Rides and Warm Weather Rituals

We have this warm weather ritual: we ride our bikes to the "Magic Wand" (the local ice cream restaurant---for those of you who grew up with me it's like the Ice Cream Stop in Leo or the Dari Sweet in Grabill). Jackson loves to ride his bike there and since it was sooo nice outside today, he was determined that is what we should do....

Well, it's been a crazy couple of days and I'm really overwhelmed with so much to do at home and lots of other commitments. We had friends coming for dinner, I was in the middle of a project with my niece and just couldn't take time to go. I explained this to Jackson multiple times...to no avail. He'd come to me and ask to "ride your bike?" or "around the corner" my personal favorite [a new one] "you have to look both ways". I really just didn't have time and finally lost my cool with him...his next request? "Wait til daddy gets home" later, "Daddy will take you".

Unfortunately, he didn't get to take that bike ride today. Maybe I should have made time to do it....on the up side, he seemed to really enjoy our company tonight and I was pleased with his interactions overall...

Random Update

Today, Jackson started a new sort of stim. We can't quite figure it out and we're not sure if it'll continue or if it was just a quirk. He was with Dan at the store and had to position his feet just so....Dan said he then kind of zoned out....we'll have to wait and see if this one continues.

The other night, Jackson slept in his own bed all night! This is huge! We aren't sure if it was the weighted blanket or the fact that he'd played outside and worn himself out...either way, we're thrilled with the progress; though he hasn't made it through the night again, we're hopeful.

Jackson has a new favorite book. It's an old teaching book of mine, from when I taught Reading Recovery....The Hungry Giant Jackson loves the animated voice I use and it gets him giggling....Cal has a new favorite book too, though he doesn't like to admit it: It's Hard to be Five by Jamie Lee Curtis....

Jack's learned to navigate the address bar of the computer and can now direct himself to his favorite sites by clicking on the link as the history drops down. This is something he figured out by himself...I'm impressed....

This morning, he put on a pair of jeans to wear to church and he's officially outgrown size 10 jeans. I can hardly believe it!!! So, I bought him 2 new pair of size 12 and hope they last him through the end of the school year.

There you have it, the random update ;)

Autism-The Musical

A friend of mine just sent me this on DVD to watch. It's really a great documentary. It follows The Miracle Project which I'm pretty sure is in California.

The movie was touching and sad. It does a fabulous job of illlustrating the variety in the spectrum. Several different kids with autism are followed for 6 months while the movie is being made.

You can learn more about the movie here:

http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/autism/index.html

Check it out if you have the chance.

Spring Break--at the end

The boys did well while we were gone; the sitter offered to do it again, so they must have been manageable. I always worry about them, but now that we've left them a few times, it seems I worry less.

Jackson is still a bit anxious today; he prefers us not to leave him. I think it's good for him to know he can be without us and survive. Some of that separation anxiety wears off and Callahan, who promptly announced he, "never want[ed] a babysitter again!" He couldn't tell us why exactly, just that he never wanted one again...

The weather here is gorgeous (finally). We went to the park after church today and Jackson had fun--overall considering the number of people that were at the park. Tomorrow morning will offer a reality check as he has to get back into the school routine for just another 7 weeks or so.

Overall, spring break went better than I expected it to go...

Spring Break--Day 4

Jackson is doing well going to the sitters...it's been a pretty good week overall.
Today we rode bikes to the school playground (about 4 blocks away). I think both boys were thrilled to be outside playing.

I don't know what got into me, but I decided to push my luck and bike over to the town park...another maybe 6 blocks on the bikes. The boys had a fabulous time here too, the park board installed new swings and put up a tire swing which Cal loved....

Riding home wasn't so fun. The chain on Jackson's bike came off no less than 5 times. I can handle something like that happening once or twice, but 5 times was ridiculous! Eventually, we just gave up and walked the rest of the way home, but it did have the afternoon end on a sour note. I probably should have checked over Jackson's bike as this is the first time he's had it out this spring...Cal and I went on our first ride last weekend, so our bikes had been given the once over. Jackson's, upon closer inspection, needed to be adjusted so the chain wouldn't fall off continually...and so the frame was more centered around the back tire....

Dan & I will be going to Chicago for our annual "night away" from the boys tomorrow...please say a prayer that all goes well with the sitter. I know they're usually better for her than for us; but both boys have some separation anxiety....I'll post an update when we're back.

Spring Break--Day 1

At first I was disappointed that my spring break was a week separate from the kids...then Dan reminded me I'll have more time to myself and Jackson will retain some sense of routine this week. This morning he was thrilled to go to the sitter--no school.

He's had a good afternoon, not dashing outside when I least expect it or running the bath water for hours....He's relatively mellow. I'm so thankful...

Keeping my fingers crossed that the rest of the week goes just as well....

Tribute Video--"He's my Son"

I spent the last 2 nights working on this music video. Once I started thinking about making one to share for Autism Awareness month, it kind of consumed me....I hope you like what you see...


Don't forget to pause the music on the right side of this page befor starting this movie...

Souls

I have been thinking about April...it's autism awareness month. Last year I wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper. This year I am thinking I'll show a short music video at church a couple of times in church... I was considering making one of Jackson, but a wonderful one is this one worth watching from youtube (bring your Kleenex):
[Be sure to pause my music on the right hand side of your screen].


This is an old promotional video for the Souls Beneath & Beyond Autism book; which I have on my coffee table...

Insomnia, gotta love it; these are the thoughts I have when I can't sleep...

Weighted Blanket Update

The weighted blanket came Monday via our UPS guy. Overall, I am pleased with the quality of the blanket; it's got a super soft fleece backing and the front is blue (not as soft, but it works). Jackson was less than impressed at first, but it does seem to have grown on him. He actually slept with it partly on him last night....he still came into our room in the middle of the night, but seemed to sleep more soundly. Hopefully, he'll continue to use it and we'll see some benefit.

Today, he's agitated and I think it's spring fever...who knows? He's all about being outside, tired of being cooped up, but aren't we all? I think he's not quite sure what to do with himself. He had fun flying a kite earlier and has been shooting hoops, but now he's grumpy! I think I'll sit down and start him on some homework...

Shout out

I'm giving a cyber hug and hello to a mom who let me "borrow" her girls and still makes me feel important--(((Kathy))). Your girls meant so much to me too; I hold them in my heart! I'm thrilled you'll be peeking in on my boys here. I'm posting a couple of my favorite photos of the boys--they're both having fun in the bubble bath at grandmas!
Jackson

Callahan



We just got back from Cal's pre-school parent teacher conference. He's doing fine, but he's shy and timid (I'm curious: are they really talking about Callahan?) We're definately going to wait a year for kindergarten, but we're thrilled he's doing well academically and ok socially.

Easter Eggs & Jack-O-Lanterns

Yesterday, I was asked if we colored Easter eggs. I was embarrassed to admit we didn't. It's a combination of things that keep us from it...first of all, no one in our family likes boiled eggs or anything that boiled eggs go into. On a deeper level, coloring Easter eggs and carving Jack-o-Lanterns were just the kinds of things I looked so forward to as a mom. I have such fond memories of doing just that with my own mom...

The truth is, autism interfered with this ritual too. It's just not something Jackson could ever 'handle' doing. The year he was just 2, we carved a pumpkin and he was distraught; though I'm not sure why...it was just before we started wondering what might be 'wrong'. It was such a disaster that we skipped Easter eggs and never got that into the habit...another thing I just avoided to avoid the meltdown/heartbreak. After all, one can go through life without ever decorating Easter eggs and still enjoy life... ;)

I've definately been thinking about this ever since I was asked though, and I can't seem to shake the idea that I've got to try again for Cal's sake. We did carve pumpkins last fall; Jackson could have cared less, but Cal loved it! Next year, we'll decorate Easter eggs and maybe, just maybe Jackson will join us....

Easter Sunday

This morning, Jackson joined Callahan on a treasure hunt courtesy of the Easter Bunny. It was great to see him engaged in a "joint activity". Though he didn't look for every clue, he looked for most of them. He loved the bubble blowing gun and the Sesame Street T-shirt (it says, "I was raised on the street" gotta love it!)

At church, he really did very well. He loves the music, watching grandpa play guitar and today he seemed to especially enjoy the drums. Having his game boy to play helped him stay quiet and still...

After church, we headed to the lake for dinner with Dan's family. There were extra people celebrating with us, and Jackson actually handled it very well. He seemed relaxed and enjoyed himself. He also engaged in some rough housing with Uncle Mike, teased cousin Riley, actually hunted for Easter eggs with Cal and Uncle Darren, and seemed to generally enjoy himself.

Great day overall!

Vampire Teeth!

Callahan got some of those plastic vampire teeth at an arcade. He got an extra pair for Jackson. This morning I hear "RRRAAHHHH, RRRRAHHHH, RRRRIAHHHH" Hmmm....
Jackson has the vampire teeth in and is playing the part. :-)

Little things like that are truly heartwarming for us!

Have you voted yet? You can vote once a day....

Sleeping issues

It's never easy to figure out why Jackson isn't sleeping; since he's not able to tell us, the best I can do is guess. Unfortunately, I think his latest round of fits with sleeping has to do with Daylight Savings Time change and putting a TV in his room (*sigh).

We just ordered a weighted blanket on ebay. It should be here by the end of the week; we'll see how that goes. It's supposed to have a calming effect and should help him sleep...for $150+ I hope he enjoys it...

On a positive note, I took both boys with me today to renew my license; and I managed to get in and out in less than 30 minutes and avoided any outbursts. I armed myself with a portable dvd player and said a prayer and things went relatively smoothly. I *almost* felt normal.

Mac-N-Cheese in the Microwave

Dan found some new Kraft frozen mac-n-cheese packs. Jackson knows just how to make them. He comes straight home from school and zaps one for himself...

We've really got to work on teaching him to clean up after himself!

Art Class without support

Here is an e-mail from the art teacher:

Just wanted to let you know that Jackson did well in art class. I
modified the glazing process for him and he was able to handle that quite well. He chose 2 glaze colors and painted them on to his clay piece. Of course I prompted him on what to do at each step. His team was on clean up and he passed out water bowls to each table. I filled the bowls and told him which person to take them to. That person held up their hand and he delivered them. We wore paint aprons and he didn't want to have anything to do with class aprons but he knew where his special Elmo one was at and went over and put it on. This is a great accomplishment because in past years he won't put one on. His glazing did not take as long as the other students so I gave him some Sesame Street art pages that he colored with markers. He seemed to enjoy this a great deal. His progress has been good. He would not have been able to handle all of this movement in past years without getting very loud and out of control. I was very proud of him.

Of course, we are very proud of him too!

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Daylight Savings Time ?

Top 10 Reasons Daylight Savings Time is a farse:

10. Who wants to drive to work in the dark?

9. Starting in March? Anyone else still have snow on the ground?

8. Have you tried putting kids to bed while it's light outside?

7. How many weeks does it take the human body to adjust?

6. Ever wonder what happened to that hour?

5. It's not nice to fool mother nature...

4. "Mom, it's not bedtime, it's still light out!"

3. Did anyone ask teachers what it's like to deal with a class of sleepy kids?

2. What is the benefit of this again?

1. Autistic kids have enough sleep problems without throwing this into the mix!

Uncle "D"

My little brother Darren is 7. Jack and Cal both adore him...he's become especially patient with Jax. He's here tonight to spend the night and Jackson wants to be sure he's here to stay. More than once he's said, "No grandpa" and "He's staying with us". When Theresa called to check on Darren, Jack quickly picked up on it and said, "No Theresa, he's sleeping. D's staying with us"

Autism or no, this sweet kid does connect with people. He wanted to be sure uncle Darren was staying. It's small, but it's meaningful.

On a selfish note, I'm glad Darren wants to be here with us, too. Truthfully, it could get annoying for any kid playing with an egocentric 5 year old and and autistic 10 year old.

I'm including an old photo of the three boys sleeping together in Jackson's twin size loft bed.


Sweet isn't it?

Magical Music: Priceless

Jackson had a music program tonight at school.

Churubusco elementary has a stellar music teacher who really goes above and beyond with programs. She also has a 4th & 5th grade choir and chimers group. She does a 5th grade lip-sync program that is truly entertaining. ;)

Back to the program. Here's a little history. In first grade, Jack couldn't really even rehearse with his class. By second grade, he could participate, but wasn't ready for an evening performance. Last year, I went to the dress rehearsal and video taped. He did ok, but I didn't think he was ready for all the stimulus of an evening performance. [He really doesn't like going back to school in the evening after school.]

This year, I thought, maybe just maybe he's ready for the night show. It seemed like the "stars were aligned" in his favor. The program was KDYZ radio; music through the decades. They sang songs like the Beatles Yellow Submarine and Footloose. All the kids wore matching t-shirts customized in art class...this all worked in his favor, as he loves pop music and he really associates with 'same shirts' from sports.

I called and talked to the music teacher at length about Jackson participating. We put into place a plan we were all comfortable with. [When it comes to things like this, I'm all about having Jack participate, but I want to set him up for success and provide him with a safety net to fall into if needed]. His aide was available to redirect him if needed and he was surrounded by kids that would help keep him on track.

Well, I went to the dress rehearsal today. He did an incredible job. He was a beat behind on some of the songs and some of his motions were off, but all in all, he did well. So well, I cried. Here is one of the photos:




I couldn't go to the performance (which was probably just as well) I had a program planned at work. So Dan took him back to school. After several conversations about just going back "to the gym to sing and dance with your friends". I think he finally understood this concept when he stated, "leave your bookbag at home". We also used an ultimate bribe and offered up TMX Elmo (he's been coveting it a week or so).. He actually wanted his dad to be there.


The whole thing went like clockwork. He went in and did some TEACHH activities his teacher prepared ahead of time for him. As soon as the music he sings started, he was ready to join his peers. He fell into place and sang, danced, sat and listened for the next 30 minutes of the program with minimal prompting and redirecting from his aide (who sat with the teachers on the side of the gym except for the few times she needed to be there for him). The boys around him supported and encouraged him to stay 'with' them.

Can you tell he's having a good time? We truly think he enjoyed himself and managed to hold it together in the midst of all the stimulus

I get goosebumps just thinking about this. Autism has taken soooo much from our family. Tonight, we got a piece of that back. Tonight, Jackson was shining. So many people noticed it. It fills my heart. What an amazing community we live in. What a fabulous school we have.

If your'e a regular here

You'll notice I added music to my blog....thanks to my friend Kari (tarr4.blogspot.com) I added music to my blog today. Most of the songs are Jackson's favorites; which is why the variety seems eclectic. ;) So, now while your'e reading the latest Jackson posts, you can be entertained by some of his favorite tunes.

Jackson went car shopping with Dan yesterday. We're just in the looking stages to replace the 1996 Toyota Tacoma. Jackson seems to enjoy vehicle shopping and it's not so bad to take him as long as we're not test driving. When we bought the van (4 years ago). We test drove it a couple of times and during the second test drive Jackson said, "Buy this van" Which at the time was a really big deal!

Pine Wood Derby

Jackson raced his pine wood derby car for the third time. This year, I was lazy and bought a kit a Hobby Lobby; actually I bought one for both boys b/c last year Cal raced one of Jackson's previous cars and I thought he'd enjoy racing his "own".

The day I brought the cars home, both boys were convinced that we should have the cars sanded, painted, and put together all within 20 minutes. If you know anything about these kits, you know that's impossible...so, we get the cars sanded, paint them and 'quick-dry' them with my embossing heat dryer and hammer in the wheels. Then, we put the cars away...

Until this morning. We're running late (what's new?) and Dan is getting ready to take Jackson [arguing with him about the number of stuffed animals he can take]. I'm rushing to put the graphite powder on the wheels...[don't know what that stuff is, huh? neither did I until a couple of years ago, when we first stated boy scouts...]. Dan finally gets Jackson out the door and I call his den leader to let her know they're running late.

When they get to the track, turns out the kit I bought at Hobby Lobby isn't 'legal' and they're not wanting to let Jax race--RED FLAG. The thing is, Jack doesn't car if his car comes in dead last. He likes being there, going through the motions of racing his car. Once again, his den leader comes to our rescue and lets him go ahead and race. Note to self: wheels on the cars cannot have spokes, they must be solid...

His car didn't come in dead last, but didn't perform as well as his cars have in the past. But, he enjoyed himself and participated; to me, that's victory.

One more interesting thing about the derby. It's always held in Auburn (about 15 minutes away). This is the town we go to for haircuts (the girl who has cut my hair since we've lived in 'Busco moved to Auburn a few years ago; of course we followed her b/c she is great with Jackson). After the derby, Jackson actually asked to go get a haircut!

This is HUGE for a couple of reasons. A.) I cannot believe he was so aware of his surroundings that he realized they were in Auburn. B.) Getting a haircut is far from his favorite thing to do.

Overall, a good day...

"Time to get packin'"

Before we went to Disney in the fall, we talked to Jax about it several times and for many weeks before we actually went. Each time, his response was, "no mickey mouses house". He did not want to go [yep, the old change in routine thing]. In the end, he loved being there and is just dying to go back. His way of communicating this to us isn't to say, "let's go back to mickey mouse's house" instead he'll say, "It's time to get packing".

Now, every time the four of us are up relatively early in the morning, Jack decides we must be getting ready to go "on the airplane". Today he's up early with the rest of us and goes into the toy room, gets out the suitcase and says, "Jackson's packing his suitcase" then, "It's time to get on the plane".

Ya know, it doesn't take much for me to want to go back, but this is especially motivating. ;) Maybe I'll pop over to the disney site and see what a short trip next sept. would run us...

Game Night

Last night we went over to some friends. They have 4 kids (Logan & Cal are good friends); and they're easy going and don't sweat the small stuff when it comes to Jackson...

Anyway, they invited us to their game night with a few other families. In all, there were 11 kids and 8 adults there. It was definitely hectic and a bit chaotic at times. Jackson really handled the situation well. When he was overwhelmed, he found a quiet spot. Overall, he did great and we all enjoyed the night as a family!

It's something that other families are able to take for granted, but for us, it's a big accomplishment!

The Novelty

of the television in the bedroom lasted one night....are you surprised?

Now, I'm stuck. Do I just say, forget it, you don't need a TV in your room? or do I suck it up and let them keep it to fall asleep to? Did I mention we moved the TV out of our bedroom, so now I don't have a TV to fall asleep to? UGH!

Sam's Club Buffet & Another I'll Never....

Dan took the kids to Sam's Club Saturday...an adventure to say the least. ;) He was excited that Jackson was really into sampling the foods there! It was great to have him trying some noodles with parsley and chicken! Again, it's encouraging to have him branching out from the known.

Years ago, I remember teaching with Betsy Gillis, one of the 'greats' I've worked with. She was someone I really looked up to. I also remember being disappointed to hear she'd allowed her own children at home to have TV's in their bedrooms; well, I'm ashamed to admit that I was shocked she'd allow her kids this luxury...I vowed I'd never allow my kids to have a TV in their bedroom. I felt it an unnecessary distraction.

[yes, this is me eating my words never say never!]

Guess who has a TV in his room tonight?

Yep, just in time for Cal's 5th birthday, we decided to remove the distraction from our bedroom hoping it would keep the boys in theres...we shall see. Jax was definately excited about it...I'm just worried that tomorrow he'll want me to move it back in my room...only time will tell.

Sight Words

Jackson is showing some progress here. He is able to identify 4/4 words correctly doing a coloring activity. "Color me yellow, now color zoo pink, color dad purple, color jump red". These words are visually diverse, tonight I think I'm going to throw mom into the mix and see if he can handle it. It's very encouraging!

Update on Arthur Live!

What a fabulous family date it was! Jackson really enjoyed the show and handled the transitions like a pro. He enjoyed the music, was enchanted with Arthur and gave me some play-by-play during the show:

"Sh Arthur is sleeping"
"Arthur is marching, march, march march"
"Wake up Arthur, Dance!"
"Arthur lost a tooth"
"Arthur is singing"

It was wonderful to go and enjoy this program like "normal".

Of course, the tickets cost us $65 and we spent another $50 on souveniers; but again it was well worth it. Jackson had a good time and it just felt right. It's another reminder of how far he's come; and it makes me proud!

Arthur Live!

Today is the day! Jackson has been waiting to see this show since November! So, wer'e off to Wabash to see Arthur live. I'm hoping he's able to enjoy it and doesn't meltdown when it's over!

Yesterday, he was all set to go. Didn't understand the concept of tomorrow. He has so much trouble with time. Even the calendar doesn't seem to help much. Especially when its something so anticipated. I'll edit this post to update....keeping my fingers crossed!

Jackson's Mom

I went to CVS to print one last photo for the Talent fair project...actually it was all done, but Jackson decided he didn't want the picture of just his cousin Taylor, but instead the photo with her holding one of his stuffed toys...(ugh!). Nevermind that the one we originally used was of much better quality (centered, focused, etc).

So, I'm just trying to get a photo printed and I say hello to another mom I know. (Her daughter is in Jackson's grade.) As she's leaving she causally says good-bye. They happened to park by me, so as I'm getting in the van, I hear her daughter comment, "that was Jackson's mom, wasn't it?"

That comment shouldn't cause me to think twice, but of course it did. The thing is, being Jackson's mom holds a completely different connotation than being Callahan's mom. Does that make sense?

Alas, the Talent Fair photography project is done!!!!