Ever had one of those "ah-ha" moments? I'm driving down the road today, pondering Jackson's recent successes--boyscout camp and football camp. It occurred to me that each experience gave me back a piece of Jackson. [I'm not doing a very good job explaining this...]
When we learned about Jackson's diagnosis, so many dreams were snuffed out. We no longer thought about our son becoming an athlete, a scholar, or even a friend. We thought in much smaller terms:
"how many words does he have?"
"did he learn a new sign"
"is he reaching out to us?"
"that's playing pretend, isn't it?"
Our perspective as parents permanently changed. It's like we had this complete picture of our child and autism fractured it--into a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.
Each day little by little, we get pieces of the puzzle back. It'll never be complete, never the same as we expected, but there will be parts that will come together.
Like when he participated in the school music program, enjoyed boyscout camp, rode the roller coaster and attended football camp. Bit by bit, we get pieces of what we expected back.
Of course, the flip side of this is all the joys we gain from Jackson that we never expected in spite of the autism, but that's another post my friends....
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Football!
This week is football camp. We were fortunate that an older football player was willing to "shadow" Jackson during his first attempt to play football. This summer camp was geared toward drills and minimal contact, so we thought it would be a good place for Jax to start. After consulting the coach, we decided to try it.
We sent him Monday with 5 different phone numbers and money for McDonalds after camp. We warned Skyler that Jack may not want to even try and that was ok, "if you're uncomfortable don't worry about sending him home"...no harm no foul.
When they met me at the sitter Monday, he had done really well. Skyler said he did great ;). We got reports from other boys that Jack learned to throw a football and enjoyed hitting the "dummies" (I'm sure there is some technical term for the fake line, but I don't know it). I was thrilled that he managed to make it through without a meltdown and ever so grateful for Skyler Jackson couldn't have participated successfully without his support.
Tuesday went just as well and today he even participated in the "flickerball" game where the team moves the ball down the field through a series of passes. (Skyler did the passing). When the sitter dropped Jack off for camp, he said, "here comes Skyler" and then kind of high fived Skyler on the chest. Somehow, he's managed to have a great week and enjoys football and all the credit goes to this more than cool high school junior, who tells me its no big deal.
It is a big deal. It's bigger than big! Jackson is able to hang out and enjoy this on his level. He's truly gaining independence and asserts his sense of humor more and more.
I'm once again humbled by the support in our community. There truly aren't word for what a blessing it is.
We sent him Monday with 5 different phone numbers and money for McDonalds after camp. We warned Skyler that Jack may not want to even try and that was ok, "if you're uncomfortable don't worry about sending him home"...no harm no foul.
When they met me at the sitter Monday, he had done really well. Skyler said he did great ;). We got reports from other boys that Jack learned to throw a football and enjoyed hitting the "dummies" (I'm sure there is some technical term for the fake line, but I don't know it). I was thrilled that he managed to make it through without a meltdown and ever so grateful for Skyler Jackson couldn't have participated successfully without his support.
Tuesday went just as well and today he even participated in the "flickerball" game where the team moves the ball down the field through a series of passes. (Skyler did the passing). When the sitter dropped Jack off for camp, he said, "here comes Skyler" and then kind of high fived Skyler on the chest. Somehow, he's managed to have a great week and enjoys football and all the credit goes to this more than cool high school junior, who tells me its no big deal.
It is a big deal. It's bigger than big! Jackson is able to hang out and enjoy this on his level. He's truly gaining independence and asserts his sense of humor more and more.
I'm once again humbled by the support in our community. There truly aren't word for what a blessing it is.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Bribery and Before and After
I am certain that at some point in my adult life, I believed that bribery was the lowest form of parenting a person could stoop too. Well, now I know better!
We went to Fun Spot Park today--Jackson, Callahan and I took Darren along. In June, if you bring an A/B report card you get in free. (Quite a savings at $16 per kid!) Have to side note here that they even acknowledged Callahan's Nursery School Report, which made him feel like a big boy and totally shocked me! Seriously, the staff at the park is fabulous. It's a clean, neat small amusement park and zoo definitely worth the drive for a day trip...
Ok, back the the bribery.
Jackson was very excited to be back at the park this season. He immediately wanted to go to the arcade to "play games" which meant he really wanted to check out he loot in the "store" where they exchange awarded game tickets for trinkets. Anyway, we rode a couple of rides then stopped at the gift shop for a camera. [His speech therapist suggested using actually photos to help him with some of his verbal skills, so I'm trying to document more this summer]. Of course, while we're in the gift shop, all the boys have to get something. For Jackson it was "Lumpy" from the My Friends Tigger & Pooh series. He also wanted Pooh, Tigger, and Eyore, but mom's not made of money.
Not having Pooh really upset him; while Cal & Darren waited to ride the Zyclone (roller coaster) Jackson sat on a side bench and was very "stimmy" [talking to himself, flapping a bit, not out of control, but definitely not happy]. Well, after waiting 5 minutes, Cal is turned away and devastated because he is not tall enough to ride; meanwhile, Jackson is tall enough but refuses to step foot on the coaster...
Jackson continues to badger me all morning long about the Pooh, though he sorts himself out enough to have fun. Even after lunch and our visit to the zoo, he was still on the "Pooh" kick. As we headed toward a ride he said, "you go over there after this." At first I didn't get it, but then I realized he was trying to communicate another way that he wanted to buy Pooh. (Instead of saying, "we'll get you Pooh next time" or "Ride the swings, swim, get Pooh"). Honestly, it gets so annoying repeatedly telling him no. Which isn't just "no" by the way, I have to say, "no, we are not getting you Pooh today" because if I don't he'll repeat his statement literally 100 times until I respond like he expects me to... Cal does the same kind of thing, but he'll stop pestering after a while, not Jax, he'll formulate 10 ways to "ask" for it. [Does this kid know the power of words, or what?]
Soooo....I was just sick of how "Pooh" was dominating our day and I decided to put an END to the whole subject. I said, "Jackson, if you ride the blue roller coaster I'll get you Pooh" thinking there is no way he'll ride the coaster and we can get on with the day...but damn if he didn't walk right up to the line for the Zyclone and wait his turn with Darren.
Unfortunately, the Zyclone broke down before they could get on.
We went to Fun Spot Park today--Jackson, Callahan and I took Darren along. In June, if you bring an A/B report card you get in free. (Quite a savings at $16 per kid!) Have to side note here that they even acknowledged Callahan's Nursery School Report, which made him feel like a big boy and totally shocked me! Seriously, the staff at the park is fabulous. It's a clean, neat small amusement park and zoo definitely worth the drive for a day trip...
Ok, back the the bribery.
Jackson was very excited to be back at the park this season. He immediately wanted to go to the arcade to "play games" which meant he really wanted to check out he loot in the "store" where they exchange awarded game tickets for trinkets. Anyway, we rode a couple of rides then stopped at the gift shop for a camera. [His speech therapist suggested using actually photos to help him with some of his verbal skills, so I'm trying to document more this summer]. Of course, while we're in the gift shop, all the boys have to get something. For Jackson it was "Lumpy" from the My Friends Tigger & Pooh series. He also wanted Pooh, Tigger, and Eyore, but mom's not made of money.
Not having Pooh really upset him; while Cal & Darren waited to ride the Zyclone (roller coaster) Jackson sat on a side bench and was very "stimmy" [talking to himself, flapping a bit, not out of control, but definitely not happy]. Well, after waiting 5 minutes, Cal is turned away and devastated because he is not tall enough to ride; meanwhile, Jackson is tall enough but refuses to step foot on the coaster...
Jackson continues to badger me all morning long about the Pooh, though he sorts himself out enough to have fun. Even after lunch and our visit to the zoo, he was still on the "Pooh" kick. As we headed toward a ride he said, "you go over there after this." At first I didn't get it, but then I realized he was trying to communicate another way that he wanted to buy Pooh. (Instead of saying, "we'll get you Pooh next time" or "Ride the swings, swim, get Pooh"). Honestly, it gets so annoying repeatedly telling him no. Which isn't just "no" by the way, I have to say, "no, we are not getting you Pooh today" because if I don't he'll repeat his statement literally 100 times until I respond like he expects me to... Cal does the same kind of thing, but he'll stop pestering after a while, not Jax, he'll formulate 10 ways to "ask" for it. [Does this kid know the power of words, or what?]
Soooo....I was just sick of how "Pooh" was dominating our day and I decided to put an END to the whole subject. I said, "Jackson, if you ride the blue roller coaster I'll get you Pooh" thinking there is no way he'll ride the coaster and we can get on with the day...but damn if he didn't walk right up to the line for the Zyclone and wait his turn with Darren.
Unfortunately, the Zyclone broke down before they could get on.
This was a real moment of angst for me: how could I get him to wait? They said it would be 30 minutes, so I distracted him with a few other rides; extending his wait for the coveted Pooh even longer. We fiddled around here and there and finally ended up waiting in front of the coaster an additional 20 minutes for Jackson and Darren to ride.
And then my son plopped himself into the cart and away they went. For another fleeing moment autism vanished and there was my son riding a roller coaster, smiling, laughing and screaming with Darren.
Then he got off and we bought Pooh.
So, the point of the post? The power of bribery. Before bribing Jackson with Pooh, he wouldn't have set a foot on that coaster, he'd sit and wait patiently for others to ride it, but there was no way he was getting on. He wanted Pooh bad enough to "step right up" and he even waited over an hour to do so! :-)
Have to share a quick Cal note...
Cal rode the water slide for the first time today. I convinced him it was the same as Splash Universe and he hesitantly (with a life jacket) made his way up, then down the slide. On our third ascent (though I couldn't ride with him, I had to walk him up each time) as he was waiting his turn, he said to me, "When I was four, I was such an idiot. This is so much fun! Dad was right, I should have tried to slide when I was four". Gotta love the "normal" child!!!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Boy Scout Camp
This week Jackson has been attending boy scout camp with an older scout helping him. Dan drops him off with Michael for camp and I pick them up after lunch.
I have to say that it is amazing and truly a sign of Jackson's maturity that he'll go to camp and hang out with Michael. [Did I mention how incredibly thankful I am for Michael?]
He seems to be enjoying himself...I'm hoping it's a good sign that [fingers crossed here] next week he'll do just as well at Football camp...only time will tell.
For now, I'm pleased that he's enjoying Boy Scout camp!
I have to say that it is amazing and truly a sign of Jackson's maturity that he'll go to camp and hang out with Michael. [Did I mention how incredibly thankful I am for Michael?]
He seems to be enjoying himself...I'm hoping it's a good sign that [fingers crossed here] next week he'll do just as well at Football camp...only time will tell.
For now, I'm pleased that he's enjoying Boy Scout camp!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Summer Rituals
We usually ride bikes to the Magic Wand at least once a week in the summer. The boys love going for the ice cream and I hope it's something they'll remember fondly.
Today, while I was cleaning out the garage, Callahan was desperate for someone to swim with. Luckily for me, Matt drove by with Taylor and Jeremiah who were both happy to hang out with the boys for a while. After I'd finished the garage, we were ready to start on a walk to McDonald's for some ice cream when our neighbor stopped to let the boys know a turtle was crossing the street if they were interested...are you kidding, my boys and a reptile, bet you can see where it ended up...we now have a resident turtle on our front porch. I think his name is "Racy Leonardo" but it depends on Cal's mood...I'm hoping to keep him alive and healthy enough to compete in Turtle Day's Turtle races next week. Perfect timing!
Once we settled the turtle we headed off on the walk toward McDonald's (which is actually right across the street from the Magic Wand, but decidedly less expensive). It was great weather, not too hot, but just hot enough to make the thought of ice cream at the end of the walk worth the effort of getting there. As we walked, Jeremiah entertained Callahan--who was thrilled to have a "big boy" engaging and rough-housing with him. As we neared the post office parking lot, I asked Jeremiah to hold on to Cal's hand until we crossed the few lots in a row. Cal didn't bat an eye at holding his hand. A couple of blocks later, Jeremiah instinctively took Cal's hand as they crossed one of the side blocks and I just about started to cry.
It was one of my "glimpse" moments, only a very sad one. For a fleeting moment I imagined the kind of big brother Jackson would be [believe me, he is a fabulous big brother, but there are things autism takes without asking and well, that moment illustrated it for me]. Until today, I never considered Jackson as an older brother without autism. Cal's whole life--even before he was conceived--autism has been a factor.
Watching Jeremiah hold his hand and seeing Cal so thoughtlessly taking it; trusting it--was heartbreaking. Another page in our book of autism...
In the end, Jackson had a great time at McDonald's. We all did, and I tried not to give much thought to it. Life is too short to dwell on the heartbreak. [Right now, tonight though, I'll shed a few tears and allow myself another moment of grief...]
Today, while I was cleaning out the garage, Callahan was desperate for someone to swim with. Luckily for me, Matt drove by with Taylor and Jeremiah who were both happy to hang out with the boys for a while. After I'd finished the garage, we were ready to start on a walk to McDonald's for some ice cream when our neighbor stopped to let the boys know a turtle was crossing the street if they were interested...are you kidding, my boys and a reptile, bet you can see where it ended up...we now have a resident turtle on our front porch. I think his name is "Racy Leonardo" but it depends on Cal's mood...I'm hoping to keep him alive and healthy enough to compete in Turtle Day's Turtle races next week. Perfect timing!
Once we settled the turtle we headed off on the walk toward McDonald's (which is actually right across the street from the Magic Wand, but decidedly less expensive). It was great weather, not too hot, but just hot enough to make the thought of ice cream at the end of the walk worth the effort of getting there. As we walked, Jeremiah entertained Callahan--who was thrilled to have a "big boy" engaging and rough-housing with him. As we neared the post office parking lot, I asked Jeremiah to hold on to Cal's hand until we crossed the few lots in a row. Cal didn't bat an eye at holding his hand. A couple of blocks later, Jeremiah instinctively took Cal's hand as they crossed one of the side blocks and I just about started to cry.
It was one of my "glimpse" moments, only a very sad one. For a fleeting moment I imagined the kind of big brother Jackson would be [believe me, he is a fabulous big brother, but there are things autism takes without asking and well, that moment illustrated it for me]. Until today, I never considered Jackson as an older brother without autism. Cal's whole life--even before he was conceived--autism has been a factor.
Watching Jeremiah hold his hand and seeing Cal so thoughtlessly taking it; trusting it--was heartbreaking. Another page in our book of autism...
In the end, Jackson had a great time at McDonald's. We all did, and I tried not to give much thought to it. Life is too short to dwell on the heartbreak. [Right now, tonight though, I'll shed a few tears and allow myself another moment of grief...]
Monday, June 9, 2008
Out of Sorts
I know when I go back and review previous posts, that Jackson always has trouble with change in routine and I usually vent about it here... It's been especially difficult lately as school is out for summer and our sitter is on vacation so everyday brings something new...I know this is good for him and keeps him out of his "comfort zone"; but that doesn't make it easy!
Next week is boy scout camp, hopefully that'll improve things!
Next week is boy scout camp, hopefully that'll improve things!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
WOW! Spelling!
We were at the lake today to celebrate a graduation in the family with Dan's parents. While waiting for a boat ride (and to keep his mind off the stuffed animals he was obsessed with) I started having Jackson follow familiar requests:
"Touch your nose"
"Touch your knees"
"When is your birthday?"
"Where do you live?"
-----"Spell zoo"----
This begins a list of words which Jackson spelled without any thought:
zoo, jumps, boy, (these he's been able to spell for a while) but then he spells: cat, dog, mom, dad, Jackson, barn, shark!!!!
WOW!!
We were all very impressed. Just had to share it!
"Touch your nose"
"Touch your knees"
"When is your birthday?"
"Where do you live?"
-----"Spell zoo"----
This begins a list of words which Jackson spelled without any thought:
zoo, jumps, boy, (these he's been able to spell for a while) but then he spells: cat, dog, mom, dad, Jackson, barn, shark!!!!
WOW!!
We were all very impressed. Just had to share it!
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