Reflecting

I am thinking about Jackson's upcoming annual case conference. (For those of you with typical children who are deprived this privilege, a case conference is when you meet with teachers and administrators to plan for your child's education for the upcoming school year). I always get a little anxious about these meetings; like I'm waiting for the ax to fall. It's not easy hearing how academically challenged your child is; it's especially difficult to read it in black and white.
So, this year, I am preempting those feelings with my own list of all the gains my son has made this year. I will need these accomplishments to temper the weight of the world as I contemplate how far he has to go. With that, in no particular order, are the accomplishments he has managed since the fall:

*He is making attempts to read words. There is evidence that he is checking through words and using phonics to sound out unknown words.
*He has an increased interested in art. He will draw illustrations and talk about what he's drawn. His drawings are becoming more sophisticated.
*Jackson is using print in a meaningful way. He has intentionally written me notes to make his point even greater. He will record things on the calendar and has even at times, added words to his illustrations.
*Finally, my son is able to match one to one when counting. This skills is helping him to have an understanding of other basic math concepts: addition, more, less.
*Socially, he continues to laugh in the face of the autism gods. In the fall, at a sectional football game, he wandered off from our family, and when I caught up to him and asked him where he was going, he answered, "to my friends". My heart stopped then, as I watched him and his friends "hang out" at the game for the rest of that quarter. At the next sectional game, he asked again to go find his friends.
*This year, he went on a big birthday party celebration and actually rode all night long in the limo without mom. He was calm, and enjoyed being with his friends.
*That initial excursion led to another independent event: going to the circus with a group of friends.
*He routinely greets his friends and their parents at church (with out prompting). He is ever aware of where his friends are.
*He clearly demonstrated his awareness of the wants of others when changing the music in the car to something his friends would enjoy.
*He asks about going to do things with his friends, and will talk about times he's shared with his friends, "You went to Lazer tag with Jhai and Trevor and Seth"
*He initiates activites with family members. He'll call, "Cal come here" or "Mom sit here."
*Jackson follows directives easily. This is exciting, there was a time when he didn't understand a simple command like: "Put the plate in the sink" Now he can follow more complex commands "Take the clothes out of the washer, put them in the dryer and press start." or "Go to the kitchen and get mom a coke"
*He's more vocal in general. I'm often greeted with a "Hey mom" and surprised when he asks about or announces something.
*Amazingly, he has adapted to having seven periods in the day, and adjusted to seven teachers. I record this, because it too, is an accomplishment in its own right.

These are the accomplishments that come to me right now. Absolutely to be celebrated, without question they aren't taken for granted. I am proud of all my son has become and anxious for his future to unfold more triumphs.

Reading!

There are some things we've decided not to focus on with Jackson. For example, learning to tie his shoes. I mean, we figured, plenty of grown men wear shoes that do not need tying, right? I've even been known to say, "Even if Jackson can't read, he has to be able to communicate with others." I do think it's so important for him to know how to read, it's just been something beyond him. Until now.

Last night, Dan came in after bed time with a sparkle in his eye saying, he is reading, really reading. Evidently, Jackson would go back and check through words Dan would call his attention to, and was really looking at the words and reading the Calliou books at bedtime.

There are times, I again reflect on the puzzle the metaphorically represents his life. So many people have a part of the person he is today. Each one represents a piece of the puzzle coming together. The preschool teachers who helped him understand his role in school; Mr. Kempton, the principal with a vision for kids like Jax. Mrs. Markley, for lovingly, gently encouraging Jax. Mrs. Schubert for stretching him outside his comfort zone. The coaches, who helped him feel like part of a team. The kids who have grown up with and around him, supporting him, including him; these kids showing him the way. Our family members and friends who love and support him and us.

"Jackson is reading!" I really want to shout it from the tops of the mountains, I want the world to know. Just like so many other things with Jack, this skill came along quietly in its own time...it's just another ordinary miracle. God truly does amazing things!

"Irritating"

We have blessed by the people who have helped care for Jackson while Dan & I are at work. Starting with his first sitter, "Nana Lesley" who cared for him as an infant (and we were ever SO grateful she did) to our current caregiver Miss Robin and those in between, Jackson and Callahan have both been cared for by devoted, loving people and I will forever be grateful for each of them.

Recently, during a snow day while at Miss Robin's house, Jackson, in typical Jackson form, was obsessed with going to Wal-Mart for a coveted Mario toy. I had promised him, "First Miss Robin's, then we'll go to Wal-Mart". When he's "stuck" on something like this, he needs to be constantly reassured that, indeed, the plan is to go to Wal-Mart for the promised toy. God bless Miss Robin who reassured him more than once of the plan. As the day wore on, his anxiety increased and he went to her and said, "You go to Wal-Mart" to which she responded, "Your mom will take you to Wal-Mart". Of course, he went through this ritual with her multiple times through-out the day, waiting for me to get there and take him to the store.

At some point, Robin's own mom stopped over and while she was talking to Robin in the kitchen, Jackson came in and started his litany. "Your mom will take you to Wal-Mart". God bless her, Robin's mom thought he was talking to her, and she said, "I'm not taking you to Wal-Mart Jackson!" To which Jackson turned, walked out of the kitchen and announced:
"You guys are so irritating"
How Robin managed to suppress her laugh and use it as a teachable moment, I will never know. She called him into the kitchen and told him she loved him and wasn't trying to irritate him.

My reaction: I cannot believe my son used such incredible vocabulary to identify his emotions and then, it was, "Where did he hear the use of that word?" Dan & I both felt a bit guilty wondering if that expression had come from either of us...the mystery was solved the next morning when "Martha Speaks" came on and the dog announced "you are so irritating". I'm really proud of Jackson's ability to internalize and transfer the use of that word. And, I'm forever grateful to my dear friend who managed to use the moment as a teachable one!