Monday, November 22, 2010

Dear God,

After watching "Letters to God" with the youth group I am inspired to write:

Dear God,

I find myself often asking, "why". So many things do not make sense; so many things I just cannot understand. In the quiet stillness, I sometimes hear Your answers, yet I'm yearning to really know more.
I'm working hard to understand or maybe I'm working hard to accept. I have faith and I'm working on being content with that.
When I break down the "why" it morphs into these other questions:
What is the lesson here?
Who can change and grow through this?
How can I change and grow through this?
What else can there be?
Who can protect us?

And as I type the last question, the answer fills my heart. I know, I know the answer. I know the loving protection and soothing Christ brings. I know the peace. I'm human and too often I forget.

I'm working on me God, but I cannot do it alone. So be with me, guide me, teach me to be more like Him. And while your at it, can you be with my sons?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Mimi and Grandpa and the bells

This is just one I have to write down; I don't want to forget it.

Callahan has been to the cemetery with me a couple of times to "visit" my beloved Mimi & Grandpa. The first time he went he was just four, and as I wiped away my tears, my sweet little boy said, "Don't worry Momma, I'm sure your Mimi will be back before it snows". More recently, he had deeper thoughts, "How do you know they can see us mom?" and "Where are they mom?"

During both visits, the bell tower chimed. When he was 4 Cal exclaimed, "Listen momma, it's the angels I can hear your Mimi's bells". At 7, when he heard the bells, he skeptically asked, "What's that mom?" My wise reply, "That's my Mimi telling you good-bye".

Well, today I ran in the "Jingle bell 5k". Part of the race includes attaching little jingle bells to your shoes. [I also run thru Lindenwood Cemetery on Thanksgiving Day every year, Cal knows that's when I "visit" Mimi]. Tonight when I got home, he noticed the bells on my shoes and said, "Oh, did you wear those for you Mimi mom?"

I love, love, love this kid! I am certain that my Mimi is looking at us smiling and thinking to herself, "Look at those two peas in a pod". For the record, I know now, better than ever before the meaning of "contrary"(the word my Mimi so often used to describe me). I honestly think that my son's picture is next to "contrary" in the dicitonary. That said, I also know the meaning of tender hearted. What a spirit my wise little man has. Tonight, for that I am grateful!