Jax is going through confirmation classes at church. It's definitely a stretch for him. Faith is so abstract and he is so concrete; it's an act of faith just pushing him to participate in class. I know that he is "learning" and growing by participating, and I am once again humbled and grateful for this amazing place we live. A place where a friend from church didn't hesitate when he was asked to be Jackson's mentor and walk the journey with him; and where his peers again support and encourage him. A few weeks ago, we went to Noblesville for a confirmation rally, Jax surprised us with his endurance and ability to go with the flow that day. Absolutely, his peers make a difference for him, and he really wants to be with them, do what they do...still something that amazes me given the autism.
As part of the course last week, the kids were each given $5 and challenged to use it to support a mission...mission here was broadly defined: an animal shelter, food bank, anything that would be considered supporting God's work in the world. Today, the kids had to report on how they chose to spend the $5 designated for missions. I was so proud of the ideas they shared: a few bought bibles to share on the mission trip coming up on spring break, others supported a local initiative for young moms. Jax donated his money toward another girl in the group who is walking next weekend in DC to raise funds for epilepsy. One of the kids in the group gave his $5 to Jackson "To buy an educational toy or game or something". Talk about touching my heart. God has a purpose and a plan and so much to teach all of us through Jax. I am doing my best to support that plan; and trying to enjoy the ride...
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Autism Experts
I just returned from a two day workshop in Bloomington to finish my "autism team training" for work. Being a member of the team required 6 days of training in Bloomington, and last spring when my boss asked me to be a part of it, I couldn't say no. So, I got to spend several days in B-town, "learning" more about autism [as if living with it 24-7 isn't enough].
During this training I listened to people who have made a conscious choice to learn more about autism; to spend time with families struggling to make sense of the disease. Honestly, these are some amazing professionals, who got into this long before it was an "epidemic" with motives that are pure and heartwarming. They live and breathe autism, and don't have too. They have come to love, cherish and celebrate the people who are affected by this mysterious [and frustrating] disability. They are my heroes for so many reasons.
First, they choose to live autism. Autism is so many [ugly] things and I can honestly say, I would never choose to expose myself to it. They are fighting the good fight for all of us not given a choice; and they do it with passion. I am humbled by it.
Next, they validate me (probably this should be first). I listened to them speak passionately and they make me feel like I'm doing the right things for my son. My mantra has been "it's all about quality of life". The points they made reiterate that importance. These experts emphasized the importance of social skills and relationships. They urge parents to consider what life will look like for kids 10, 20 years down the road. I am SO there...so there.
Also, these experts say, "there is no magic cure; no simple solution". Amen to that. It may take several therapies, a combination of approaches, a multi-faceted solution. And even then, your kid may still suffer from the demons. Living and "dealing"with autism requires outside the box thinking; it's like running a marathon uphill...
Finally, these experts find a way to appreciate what makes these kids just like any other kid (and what makes them drastically different). They find ways to connect and laugh with kids. They find ways to solve problems and create solutions for families. They give me hope.
And sometimes, hope is all I have left....
During this training I listened to people who have made a conscious choice to learn more about autism; to spend time with families struggling to make sense of the disease. Honestly, these are some amazing professionals, who got into this long before it was an "epidemic" with motives that are pure and heartwarming. They live and breathe autism, and don't have too. They have come to love, cherish and celebrate the people who are affected by this mysterious [and frustrating] disability. They are my heroes for so many reasons.
First, they choose to live autism. Autism is so many [ugly] things and I can honestly say, I would never choose to expose myself to it. They are fighting the good fight for all of us not given a choice; and they do it with passion. I am humbled by it.
Next, they validate me (probably this should be first). I listened to them speak passionately and they make me feel like I'm doing the right things for my son. My mantra has been "it's all about quality of life". The points they made reiterate that importance. These experts emphasized the importance of social skills and relationships. They urge parents to consider what life will look like for kids 10, 20 years down the road. I am SO there...so there.
Also, these experts say, "there is no magic cure; no simple solution". Amen to that. It may take several therapies, a combination of approaches, a multi-faceted solution. And even then, your kid may still suffer from the demons. Living and "dealing"with autism requires outside the box thinking; it's like running a marathon uphill...
Finally, these experts find a way to appreciate what makes these kids just like any other kid (and what makes them drastically different). They find ways to connect and laugh with kids. They find ways to solve problems and create solutions for families. They give me hope.
And sometimes, hope is all I have left....
Friday, March 5, 2010
Dance!
Last Friday night Jax attended his first school dance; true to his 12 year old form, he went grudgingly (though most boys aren't interested in dancing and Jax just wasn't interested in returning to the school for anything!) With a bribe and a prayer, we headed off to the school. Initially, he was just happy to get his treat from the concession stand, then he wandered a bit, taking it all in. He sat down at a table in the commons to eat his candy and I managed to persuade him to check out the music coming from the gym...
Once he spotted the strobe lights, he was off. He had such a good time--watching those lights, running back and forth in the gym. At times, he looked like any other kid in there: he joined in the "Cha-Cha shuffle" after hanging back to see what the song was all about, and when he took a break from his "dancing" he sat on a mat at the other end of the gym (grown up enough to not want to just hang out with mom)!
There were also times he was so obviously different that my heart hurt. I've learned to come to terms with that; he was having a blast and I thanked God for another piece of happiness, another "rite of passage" he can enjoy. I also thanked God for the girls who engaged him, tried to get him to dance with them and for the kids who let him jump around in the middle of them.
Once he spotted the strobe lights, he was off. He had such a good time--watching those lights, running back and forth in the gym. At times, he looked like any other kid in there: he joined in the "Cha-Cha shuffle" after hanging back to see what the song was all about, and when he took a break from his "dancing" he sat on a mat at the other end of the gym (grown up enough to not want to just hang out with mom)!
There were also times he was so obviously different that my heart hurt. I've learned to come to terms with that; he was having a blast and I thanked God for another piece of happiness, another "rite of passage" he can enjoy. I also thanked God for the girls who engaged him, tried to get him to dance with them and for the kids who let him jump around in the middle of them.
One Junior High dance conquered; more to come! [I'm ever so grateful to his social studies teacher for forwarding me these photos of him!]
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