"He's a part of the team." What if?

Today Jackson had pictures taken with the eighth grade football team. He is going to be the "water boy/manager" for the home games. Watching him participate took my breath away. It wasn't easy or comfortable for him, but he did it. None of the kids made fun of him or laughed at him. One kid wondered why he was there and another one answered before I could: "He's part of the team."
Wow. That's not the answer I was ready to give. I was ready to explain how he was going to "help" the managers at home games. Instead one of his peers answered simply and BIG: "He's part of the team." Wow.
That got me wondering: What if every special needs kid had the opportunity to be included that Jackson has had? What if every kid, starting in Nursery School was accepted? What if parents didn't have to fight for minimal services, accept mediocrity and could instead focus on building support? What if an attitude of inclusion were truly promoted from the top down? What if we didn't have to accomplish this in isolation? What if parents were encouraged to stretch special kids towards typical opportunities? What if our goal was to build relationships within and among typical peers? What if we weren't so focused on isolation? What if, instead of telling parents what is best for these kids, they are asked, "what do you think?" What if the attitude of that football player were the attitude of those decision makers? He made it sound so simple: "He's part of the team."

"I got Garfield"

Something Jackson has struggled to control for years is the use of the pronoun "I". He would substitute "you" as in "You go see Elmo" or "You fell on the playground." We would try to prompt him for "I" statements by starting for him, "I want to go see..." or "I fell on the playground". I think it was an IEP speech goal for at least 4 years. Well, this summer, in his own time, he seems to finally have control over "I." Like so many other things, this skill just kind of appeared. I think it started with:

"I rode the roller coasters at Michigan Adventures."

and has evolved to:

"I went to Mall of America."

"I saw Winnie the Pooh."

Last night at dinner, he played his favorite arcade game: the crane game. The kid will sit and watch YouTube videos of crane game wins over and over. He even has a ritual with his grandma where she has to sit next to him and narrate while he watches video after video. All that watching seems to have paid off. Last night this is what we heard, "I won a green flame Garfield. I got Garfield from the crane game. I winned a Garfield." Now, I realize that for most kids, winning the toy in itself is a feat of skill. For Jackson it was also a moment of mastery: "I". :)

This morning, he wrote his dad this note:

Ernein toy wallmrt.

[Translation Ernie toy Wal-Mart]. So after church while shopping they picked up an Ernie toy at Wal-Mart. [Never mind the fact that the kid has upwards of 20 Ernie toys already]. When I asked him which Wal-Mart, he responded, "Lima Road". Again, another WOW! moment for this kid. He continues to amaze, surprise and teach us each day.

School Days

Jackson started 8th grade. Here he is on the first day:



This weekend I'm reflecting on all it took to get him here. Literally. I'm not just thinking of the in the moment stuff (like will he remember to put on deodorant and what shoes will he wear), but also the years of school that came before. I'm remembering how in kindergarten and first grade we visited his class and met his teacher to take photos before school started. I can't forget second grade when he missed the first day of school because he was having dental surgery. I'm remembering 4th grade when Arthur and DW went to school with him everyday, and he is remembering 5th grade when pirate Big Bird and Elmo accompanied him each day.

So much emotion, effort, energy, time and resources are reflected in this photo. We know it's best for him to stay in school with the kids he's been with since he was four, but there are others with another idea. Getting him here didn't always seem possible, and though I've always had a vision and purpose for our path, I haven't always been confident that my path was God's path for my son. Somehow, God quietly reminded me this summer on more than one occasion, we are following His plan for Jackson. I know God must have been with us all on those roller coasters at Michigan Adventures (!) and I could feel His warmth and love when my big sweet boy enjoyed the drive-in theatre with several friends.
Now I am praying that He will continue to be with and bless my son. The beginning of school is almost invigorating. Everything is shiny and new, kind of like a box of crayolas not yet colored with: sharp, sleek just waiting for a kid to pick them up and make some magic with them. I am praying God will continue to use those vibrant colors to illustrate my son's life. But if His plan includes some muted colors and greys we are ready for that too. I will hold fast to His plan for my son, and pray us through.