We had some friends from out of town stay at our house Saturday night.
Jackson just had a complete blast "playing" with Uncle Russ. He put his sleeping bag on his head and pretended to be a ghost! He was really engaging Russ which was totally fabulous especially considering this is a person he sees just once or twice a year.
Having said that, Jackson has an almost 6th sense about people. It's like he can sense whether or not they are kind hearted and sensitive toward others. He'll take more to certain people than others and definitely knows when/where he's not "safe".
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Out of Sorts
I should have seen it coming...famous last words.
School has been out for ten days now; let the meltdowns begin.
Today, when he had to give Cal a turn on the computer he wandered around the house, angry. His language came out, but made no sense. He used emotional phrases, "I said sit down!" or "I'm not calling Gage!" He used words over and over; phrases he's heard before. It's like he has to borrow anger.
It's strange how he craves order; how organized chaos throws him. Admitedly, even Cal is having his share of meltdowns, and I'm getting cabin fever.
School doesn't start until the 8th; God be with him!
School has been out for ten days now; let the meltdowns begin.
He just cannot seem to handle one day to the next; though he isn't at all anxious to get back to school. He's seems content enough to watch movies, play on the computer and chase around his brother, but deep down, something stirs inside him, and that 'thing' awakens at the slightest upset. Then, begins the downward spiral.
Today, when he had to give Cal a turn on the computer he wandered around the house, angry. His language came out, but made no sense. He used emotional phrases, "I said sit down!" or "I'm not calling Gage!" He used words over and over; phrases he's heard before. It's like he has to borrow anger.
It's strange how he craves order; how organized chaos throws him. Admitedly, even Cal is having his share of meltdowns, and I'm getting cabin fever.
School doesn't start until the 8th; God be with him!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Ho-Ho Holiday and Whack-A-Mole Tower
Oh what fun it is to ride from house to house on Christmas day!
Actually, Jackson did quite well this year. After an initial snafu.
The boys get gifts from so many relatives that I generally let them open packages as they come during the holiday season. This year, the first package arrived from Auntie Joy in Texas. She sent these very cool snap together dinosaurs for Cal, which he promptly sat down and played with for an hour ;). Jackson got a Melissa & Doug instrument set, which was actually perfect for him (and he now adores); but when it came it was another story. Jackson had decided he wanted Whack a Mole Tower for Christmas [an incredibly annoying game], when the package came from Joy, I think he must have expected it to be Whack a Mole Tower and was very upset that it wasn't. So, began the madness!
My dad had actually bought this game for him, but we hadn't gotten together with them yet. There are times that Jackson understands delayed gratification (waiting) and there are times he's not standing for it. 'Bet you can guess how it went down with Whack a Mole Tower...Thank goodness my dad and his wife were willing to finagle schedules to allow my kids to open their gifts earlier than planned. I just knew if he didn't get this game on Christmas morning, we'd all be miserable until he did...
He opened the game and his response was typical for him (seemingly less than excited). He was even willing to share it with Uncle Darren and Uncle Zack and waited for his turn. I'm thinking he was just holding it all in until we got home. He loves the game and plays it incessantly whacking the mallet and chanting "whack a mole tower, [bam!] whack a mole tower" between each whack. He and Callahan are enjoying it and I'm sure every kid that comes over will take a whack...
That was a few days before Christmas. Christmas morning was fun. We really enjoy the whole Santa gimmick as both boys understand. It's so much more fun now that Jackson 'gets' it'. We're just having trouble explaining that Santa comes just one night a year.
The next challenge will be explaining he has to go back to school...
Actually, Jackson did quite well this year. After an initial snafu.
The boys get gifts from so many relatives that I generally let them open packages as they come during the holiday season. This year, the first package arrived from Auntie Joy in Texas. She sent these very cool snap together dinosaurs for Cal, which he promptly sat down and played with for an hour ;). Jackson got a Melissa & Doug instrument set, which was actually perfect for him (and he now adores); but when it came it was another story. Jackson had decided he wanted Whack a Mole Tower for Christmas [an incredibly annoying game], when the package came from Joy, I think he must have expected it to be Whack a Mole Tower and was very upset that it wasn't. So, began the madness!
My dad had actually bought this game for him, but we hadn't gotten together with them yet. There are times that Jackson understands delayed gratification (waiting) and there are times he's not standing for it. 'Bet you can guess how it went down with Whack a Mole Tower...Thank goodness my dad and his wife were willing to finagle schedules to allow my kids to open their gifts earlier than planned. I just knew if he didn't get this game on Christmas morning, we'd all be miserable until he did...
He opened the game and his response was typical for him (seemingly less than excited). He was even willing to share it with Uncle Darren and Uncle Zack and waited for his turn. I'm thinking he was just holding it all in until we got home. He loves the game and plays it incessantly whacking the mallet and chanting "whack a mole tower, [bam!] whack a mole tower" between each whack. He and Callahan are enjoying it and I'm sure every kid that comes over will take a whack...
That was a few days before Christmas. Christmas morning was fun. We really enjoy the whole Santa gimmick as both boys understand. It's so much more fun now that Jackson 'gets' it'. We're just having trouble explaining that Santa comes just one night a year.
The next challenge will be explaining he has to go back to school...
Friday, December 7, 2007
Holiday Lights and Carriage Rides
We spent most of the evening with Uncle Darren. (My 7 yo little brother, who has really matured in his relationship w/Jackson). We played at grandpa's house, did the paper route with Uncle Zachary; Jackson found it particularly amusing to watch him lean out the window to put papers into paper boxes. [Uncle Zack even 'fell' out of the van on the last paper for effect ;) which left all three little boys giddy with laughter]. Next we headed to Chik-Fil-A for dinner and playtime and then off to the Fantasy of Lights. This is a favored spot every holiday season. Jack really enjoys the displays; it's predictable enough for him... Tonight he spotted the carriage ride a few cars ahead of us and determined he was going to have a carriage ride...
Of course, the Fantasy of Lights carriage was booked for the night, so I took him downtown to the huge Santa light display on the side of the bank building and tried to hail a carriage there. Jack and Darren were impressed with the 'Santa' that drove up in his unique vehicle adorned with lights. Cal asked if he could hide behind me...After visiting this eccentric santa we drove a few blocks to hook up with a carriage driver. [By the way, these carriage rides are like highway robbery: $30 for a half an hour ride? That's a dollar a minute! Come on! I digress,] We're lucky to find a carriage empty and free and set about our journey through downtown to view the lights. All three boys were very excited and really enjoyed the ride. Cal kept saying, "This is the first time I ever rode in a carriage" to which Darren replied, "Me too!" and Jackson just sat back and had fun.
For the first ten minutes that is...
He spent the last 20 minutes trying to understand why this carriage wasn't going to take him back to the fantasy of lights and anxious about the ride being over.
Can I just say, I hate it when autism robs my son of childhood joys...the other two were so taken with the ride, so happy and content. Jackson spent most of his ride anxious, unable to relax and take it for what it was...These are the moments I truly hate it the most. It's so incredibly heartbreaking to have such a fun evening turned sour by his misunderstanding...
Of course, the Fantasy of Lights carriage was booked for the night, so I took him downtown to the huge Santa light display on the side of the bank building and tried to hail a carriage there. Jack and Darren were impressed with the 'Santa' that drove up in his unique vehicle adorned with lights. Cal asked if he could hide behind me...After visiting this eccentric santa we drove a few blocks to hook up with a carriage driver. [By the way, these carriage rides are like highway robbery: $30 for a half an hour ride? That's a dollar a minute! Come on! I digress,] We're lucky to find a carriage empty and free and set about our journey through downtown to view the lights. All three boys were very excited and really enjoyed the ride. Cal kept saying, "This is the first time I ever rode in a carriage" to which Darren replied, "Me too!" and Jackson just sat back and had fun.
For the first ten minutes that is...
He spent the last 20 minutes trying to understand why this carriage wasn't going to take him back to the fantasy of lights and anxious about the ride being over.
Can I just say, I hate it when autism robs my son of childhood joys...the other two were so taken with the ride, so happy and content. Jackson spent most of his ride anxious, unable to relax and take it for what it was...These are the moments I truly hate it the most. It's so incredibly heartbreaking to have such a fun evening turned sour by his misunderstanding...
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Snow Day!
We're all laying in bed at 7:00 am wondering if school will stay delayed or close for the day. Jackson says, "No school today, school is closed." Darn if he wasn't right...we baked Christmas cookies and did loads of laundry today....
Monday, December 3, 2007
Oh Christmas Tree!
Jackson was so excited to help decorate the tree!
He has 5 Halmark NHL player ornaments. The series started the year he was born, but only lasted 5 years...Anyway, he really took ownership of these ornaments and was careful to place them just right on the tree. He was also thrilled with his Kermit the frog, Pooh, and Tigger ornaments. This year, he wasn't stressed out by the ornaments with his picture on them from school....progress?
He has 5 Halmark NHL player ornaments. The series started the year he was born, but only lasted 5 years...Anyway, he really took ownership of these ornaments and was careful to place them just right on the tree. He was also thrilled with his Kermit the frog, Pooh, and Tigger ornaments. This year, he wasn't stressed out by the ornaments with his picture on them from school....progress?
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Here's a Survey
A friend of mine with a college student asked me to answer these questions so her son could use the answers in a research paper. It's interesting:
. Who in your family has Autism?
My 10 yo son Jackson
2. How does Autism affect your life?
Autism really impacts every aspect of our life; from where we live & work to what we're having for dinner. When Jackson was diagnosed I detoured my career as a school administrator to work part time as a teacher in order to be available to meet his needs. At the time, I thought it was a temporary set back. That was 6 years ago. When he was younger we had to be careful about where we took him. Crowds, new people and places were difficult for him. We consistently had plan B. It strained our relationship with family members who didn't understand why he wasn't "disciplined". It affects how we parent our NT son who is 4. As Jackson has gotten older, it's gotten easier, but only because we know better what to expect from him and he has matured to the point where he can understand and communicate difficulties.
3. What therapies have been done to help?
What hasn't? We started with GFCF diet and SuperNuThera vitamins. When we saw minimal progress, we abandoned the diet. We tried to continue with the vitamins. He's had ST and OT since the dx. He did have some developmental therapy. He went to a private TEACCH pre-schoool. He had VB individual tutor in kdg. At this point, we're focusing on social skills and life skills (IE: job skills)
4. How does it affect their school life?
We're very fortunate to live in a supportive and encouraging community. But, I"m always on the offensive to be sure that he is able to remain in his local school with his peers. He attends an intensive needs classroom part of the day and eats lunch, has recess, library, science, gym, art, music & computer lab with is NT peers. He's also in boy scouts and intramural gymnastics.
5. Does Autism affect going out to places / gatherings?
Definitely, too many people can be difficult for him. We planned our vacation to Disney world during it's least busy time of the year to be certain he would enjoy it. Again, this is definitely improving with age and maturity.
6. What is the most difficult part of Autism?
The everyday heartbreak. It's giving up on my hopes and dreams I knit into his soul as an infant and accepting that his happiness and being content are enough. It's also so very hard to witness his struggle to so badly want to participate in something, to be a part of something, but for that thing to be so overwhelming to him. It is such a quagmire for him. I so badly then want to extract every ounce of autism from his being.
7. What should schools & doctors improve on to help Autism?
Knowledge is power! Schools need to be more forthright regarding rights under IDEA
8. How do others you know view Autism?
I think the puzzle piece is a great 'icon' for autism. It's puzzling. Others want to know more, but knowing more sometimes makes it all the more puzzling.
9. How does Autism affect your career?
(See above) My career path is permanently changed. I currently work part time as a teacher and I'm not certain when/if I'll go back full time...
10. What do you think can be done to prevent Autism?
I'm really not sure. If I knew, I'd be telling the world!
. Who in your family has Autism?
My 10 yo son Jackson
2. How does Autism affect your life?
Autism really impacts every aspect of our life; from where we live & work to what we're having for dinner. When Jackson was diagnosed I detoured my career as a school administrator to work part time as a teacher in order to be available to meet his needs. At the time, I thought it was a temporary set back. That was 6 years ago. When he was younger we had to be careful about where we took him. Crowds, new people and places were difficult for him. We consistently had plan B. It strained our relationship with family members who didn't understand why he wasn't "disciplined". It affects how we parent our NT son who is 4. As Jackson has gotten older, it's gotten easier, but only because we know better what to expect from him and he has matured to the point where he can understand and communicate difficulties.
3. What therapies have been done to help?
What hasn't? We started with GFCF diet and SuperNuThera vitamins. When we saw minimal progress, we abandoned the diet. We tried to continue with the vitamins. He's had ST and OT since the dx. He did have some developmental therapy. He went to a private TEACCH pre-schoool. He had VB individual tutor in kdg. At this point, we're focusing on social skills and life skills (IE: job skills)
4. How does it affect their school life?
We're very fortunate to live in a supportive and encouraging community. But, I"m always on the offensive to be sure that he is able to remain in his local school with his peers. He attends an intensive needs classroom part of the day and eats lunch, has recess, library, science, gym, art, music & computer lab with is NT peers. He's also in boy scouts and intramural gymnastics.
5. Does Autism affect going out to places / gatherings?
Definitely, too many people can be difficult for him. We planned our vacation to Disney world during it's least busy time of the year to be certain he would enjoy it. Again, this is definitely improving with age and maturity.
6. What is the most difficult part of Autism?
The everyday heartbreak. It's giving up on my hopes and dreams I knit into his soul as an infant and accepting that his happiness and being content are enough. It's also so very hard to witness his struggle to so badly want to participate in something, to be a part of something, but for that thing to be so overwhelming to him. It is such a quagmire for him. I so badly then want to extract every ounce of autism from his being.
7. What should schools & doctors improve on to help Autism?
Knowledge is power! Schools need to be more forthright regarding rights under IDEA
8. How do others you know view Autism?
I think the puzzle piece is a great 'icon' for autism. It's puzzling. Others want to know more, but knowing more sometimes makes it all the more puzzling.
9. How does Autism affect your career?
(See above) My career path is permanently changed. I currently work part time as a teacher and I'm not certain when/if I'll go back full time...
10. What do you think can be done to prevent Autism?
I'm really not sure. If I knew, I'd be telling the world!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Aha! Moment
My job is to teach kids. I actually specialize in teaching young children to read. Helping children become literate has been the focus of my career for the last ten years. You can imagine my frustration with my inability to help Jackson learn to read.
The past 3 days, I've been in some teacher training. Today, (for the fifth or sixth time) the leader reminded us how closely oral language is tied to literacy. Yeah, I'm thinking, I get that. I frequently work with English as a new language students and it totally makes sense with them. For the first time today, it hit me. Jackson oral language is delayed. He's just starting to make sense of print. He's always liked books and enjoyed listening to them, but he's just starting to take notice of print.
You can imagine how freeing this was for me; encouraging at the same time. I am certain that Jax will gain literacy as his language continues to develop.
Hope survives...
The past 3 days, I've been in some teacher training. Today, (for the fifth or sixth time) the leader reminded us how closely oral language is tied to literacy. Yeah, I'm thinking, I get that. I frequently work with English as a new language students and it totally makes sense with them. For the first time today, it hit me. Jackson oral language is delayed. He's just starting to make sense of print. He's always liked books and enjoyed listening to them, but he's just starting to take notice of print.
You can imagine how freeing this was for me; encouraging at the same time. I am certain that Jax will gain literacy as his language continues to develop.
Hope survives...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Arthur Live!
Can you tell me why on earth, they would be advertising for this show [which is in February] 3 months in advance? Jackson is obsessed with seeing this show. He goes to the website and every time he sees the promo for it, he has a mini-meltdown. I've shown him February on the calendar, but it's way too abstract.
Maybe I'll see where else it'll be playing in the near future...
Maybe I'll see where else it'll be playing in the near future...
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Chuck Taylor's
Dan intended to take Jackson to Science Central today. Jax wanted to take several of his stuffed toys with him; usually he packs these in a sling back-pack, but today they couldn't find it (hmmm....)
Problem Solved: stop at the store to buy another sling back-pack....
Detoured instead to the shoe department (can you see where this is going?) Jackson evidently knew exactly what he wanted because he headed straight for the Chuck Taylor's, put them on and began to march around the shoe aisle "march, march, march, march". Just like he watches 'Jack' do on 'Jack's Big Music Show'.
Do I really need to tell you that he is now the proud owner (wearer) of a pair of shoes similar to the one pictured above? Maybe (hesitation so great here), just maybe, he'll learn to tie his shoes! [This is a life skill, I have intentionally avoided: check in your closet: how many pairs of your shoes do you actually tie?]
Never a dull moment!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Lazy Morning
Jackson is having a fabulous time this morning watching Sesame Street and Super Why on PBS. He is so easily thrilled and excited.
Can I just say again that I love Super Why. I truly credit this show with sparking Jackson's interest in words, reading and writing...I've only been struggling to do so for six years!
So, this morning anyway, I'm thankful for PBS...how about you?
Can I just say again that I love Super Why. I truly credit this show with sparking Jackson's interest in words, reading and writing...I've only been struggling to do so for six years!
So, this morning anyway, I'm thankful for PBS...how about you?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tornado
Perhaps I have written of this before, it wouldn't surprise me as this happens almost daily.
Jackson is like a tornado. He goes from room to room in our house destroying any sense of order. He'll dump out his tote full of stuffed animals in the kitchen (so they can "watch" him play on the computer). Then he'll scatter the dvd's all over the floor in the living room looking for just the one he wants to watch. Next, he'll take a shower in the back bathroom and get the floor all wet and dump all his bathtub toys out in the shower. When he decides he wants something to eat he's apt to pop popcorn in the microwave or make a peanut butter sandwich. If I'm really lucky he'll cook his own mac and cheese. Of course all this happens one right after the other and I'm in the constant state of clearing up one mess or another.
It really hit home this weekend when Dan was out raking leaves. He left a relatively clean house with Cal asleep and Jax on the computer. After raking, he comes in to total destruction!
He'll clean up his own messes with prompting, but he's less than crazy about it and needs monitoring to get it done. Oh, the life!
Jackson is like a tornado. He goes from room to room in our house destroying any sense of order. He'll dump out his tote full of stuffed animals in the kitchen (so they can "watch" him play on the computer). Then he'll scatter the dvd's all over the floor in the living room looking for just the one he wants to watch. Next, he'll take a shower in the back bathroom and get the floor all wet and dump all his bathtub toys out in the shower. When he decides he wants something to eat he's apt to pop popcorn in the microwave or make a peanut butter sandwich. If I'm really lucky he'll cook his own mac and cheese. Of course all this happens one right after the other and I'm in the constant state of clearing up one mess or another.
It really hit home this weekend when Dan was out raking leaves. He left a relatively clean house with Cal asleep and Jax on the computer. After raking, he comes in to total destruction!
He'll clean up his own messes with prompting, but he's less than crazy about it and needs monitoring to get it done. Oh, the life!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Bubbly
Jackson is currently jamming to Colbie Cailet's new(ish) cd. It's funny how quickly he picks up lyrics and how much he enjoys instrumental beginnings for songs. :)
It's been a BUSY week! Monday afternoon we swam at the Y with a group of kids from church. Jack enjoyed riding in the back of the church van with the other 'big' boys. Tuesday evening we were at Crazy Pinz for another birthday party until 7:30. Wednesday night we had an activity and dinner at church and last night was boy scouts. Tonight we're all just chillin' at home. Actually, he adapted very well to the hectic schedule. Maybe that's a sign he's maturing.
Tonight, our local high school football team plays in a semi-state game. There was a pep rally for them at the school. Jackson had great fun cheering for them as the players paraded through the halls of the elementary. The thought of it warms my heart.
It's been a BUSY week! Monday afternoon we swam at the Y with a group of kids from church. Jack enjoyed riding in the back of the church van with the other 'big' boys. Tuesday evening we were at Crazy Pinz for another birthday party until 7:30. Wednesday night we had an activity and dinner at church and last night was boy scouts. Tonight we're all just chillin' at home. Actually, he adapted very well to the hectic schedule. Maybe that's a sign he's maturing.
Tonight, our local high school football team plays in a semi-state game. There was a pep rally for them at the school. Jackson had great fun cheering for them as the players paraded through the halls of the elementary. The thought of it warms my heart.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Progress
Here is an example of some writing Jackson did last week at school. He loves to use the "SmartBoard" and is really starting to take off in reading and writing.
Translation:
Jackson
Boy
Girl Zoo* The A
Jackson Ostrowski
*Zoo would be underlined because it has become Jackson's habit to underline a word as he reads it.
He also wrote "knor" for kipper and "rxnd" for Arnold. He told his teacher what he had written giving meaning to his writing which was a total breakthrough! [For the first time, he wrote his own 'story', he's dictated stories in the past, but never truly written one.]
Friday Night Lights
The Churubusco high school football team won sectionals; Friday night the regional game was held at the stadium, just a block away. Jackson really enjoys taking our fold-away chairs down the block to watch the game from "our side" of the fence. We all hiked down to settle in for a cold night of football. Cal was over it before the first quarter ended...
Jackson stayed huddled in his chair, under a couple of blankets (without a coat b/c he refused to wear it) and watched the entire game. Which the Eagles won, by the way, 28 to 14. Nearly the whole town was there rooting on our team and it was a great night of football.
It always warms my heart to hear Jackson cheering "Let's Go Busco!". He's all about it, bless his heart. I'm not sure he understands the first thing about football, but he wasn't gonna leave until the game was over...
Jackson stayed huddled in his chair, under a couple of blankets (without a coat b/c he refused to wear it) and watched the entire game. Which the Eagles won, by the way, 28 to 14. Nearly the whole town was there rooting on our team and it was a great night of football.
It always warms my heart to hear Jackson cheering "Let's Go Busco!". He's all about it, bless his heart. I'm not sure he understands the first thing about football, but he wasn't gonna leave until the game was over...
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Mainstreaming
For some, this topic is right up there with religion and politics.
In my heart, I believe God has given me instincts to trust. I've followed them and included Jackson in every possible way with his peers. It's the only way of life he's ever known and I really don't think he's aggravated by it. Truly, I think his peers gain as much from his participation as he does, but I could be kidding myself.
I guess I don't have the answer for every other kid, but I've come to the conclusion for mine that I'll stick with my fight to keep him mainstreamed. After all, the world isn't separated into handicap/non-handicap is it?
I started this post yesterday and couldn't get my head around my thoughts. I'm thinking more clearly now and feel confident to put it out there today....
I'm right now struggling with the issue. Specifically, I'm wondering if I've done the right thing having Jackson so involved with his peers: t-ball, soccer, basketball camp, boy scouts. In every instance, I've just pushed him out there and supported his involvement. But I've started to question whether it's been the very best thing for him to be only exposed to his NT peers. Maybe he needs some time around and involved with 'special needs' peers.In my heart, I believe God has given me instincts to trust. I've followed them and included Jackson in every possible way with his peers. It's the only way of life he's ever known and I really don't think he's aggravated by it. Truly, I think his peers gain as much from his participation as he does, but I could be kidding myself.
I guess I don't have the answer for every other kid, but I've come to the conclusion for mine that I'll stick with my fight to keep him mainstreamed. After all, the world isn't separated into handicap/non-handicap is it?
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Trick or Treat
Here's the update on Halloween:
Jackson didn't want to trick or treat at all, until his dad came home. Dan convinced him he wanted to go get candy. After an initial snafu with wanting to take ALL his stuffed toys with him [translate: he'd need a bigger wagon to hold them all] he put on his Kermit the Frog costume [yes for the 3rd year in a row] and went off with his brother and grandma to trick or treat.
Cal was loving it, but after about a dozen houses, he announced that he "had enough candy to last him a week" and was ready to go home. At this point, Jackson was really enjoying getting all the candy, so dad took him to a few more houses.
It's great that he actually enjoys this now...thinking back to how Halloween used to go, this is victory!
Jackson didn't want to trick or treat at all, until his dad came home. Dan convinced him he wanted to go get candy. After an initial snafu with wanting to take ALL his stuffed toys with him [translate: he'd need a bigger wagon to hold them all] he put on his Kermit the Frog costume [yes for the 3rd year in a row] and went off with his brother and grandma to trick or treat.
Cal was loving it, but after about a dozen houses, he announced that he "had enough candy to last him a week" and was ready to go home. At this point, Jackson was really enjoying getting all the candy, so dad took him to a few more houses.
It's great that he actually enjoys this now...thinking back to how Halloween used to go, this is victory!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Borrowing Iris
Tonight on the way home from Crazy Pins we discussed how our new baby cousin Iris is doing. Jackson repeated his standard line: "Baby Iris is crying" b/c his favorite picture of this precious baby is the one of her crying [which maybe is a good thing; he's able to read this facial expression and know she's unhappy, so maybe that's why he connects with this particular photo]. I told the boys I'd like to bring baby Iris to our house, to which Cal promptly told me, "We can't just take her, mom, we can only borrow her, right Jackson?" I then tried to get Jax to answer the question, but he just answered, "go see baby Iris. Let's go see baby Iris."
Cal wasn't satisfied with this answer. He told me that we weren't going to borrow baby Iris because babies "get on my nerves, because they always chew on my toys. And I can't stand it when they get all slobbery." Then Jax asked, "Can we go see baby Iris?" Cal: "NO!"
Crazy Pins was tons of fun. Jackson really has fun playing in the climbing structure and waiting for the basket of soft foam balls to empty into the middle. It was nice to have him handle all the stimulation so well.
Cal wasn't satisfied with this answer. He told me that we weren't going to borrow baby Iris because babies "get on my nerves, because they always chew on my toys. And I can't stand it when they get all slobbery." Then Jax asked, "Can we go see baby Iris?" Cal: "NO!"
Crazy Pins was tons of fun. Jackson really has fun playing in the climbing structure and waiting for the basket of soft foam balls to empty into the middle. It was nice to have him handle all the stimulation so well.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Costumes and Cousins
Tomorrow is Halloween....what will Jax be? Perhaps Kermit the Frog for the 3rd year in a row...hmmm....we'll have to wait and see....
Jackson loves to jump on the tramoline at Aunt Jackies. Tonight we had to go over and visit and he had the best time jumping with his cousin Taylor. Taylor really does a great job with Jackson and has grown closer to him since she went on a long weekend with us. She just seems to 'know' how to engage him. It was heartwarming to see them together tonight...
Jackson loves to jump on the tramoline at Aunt Jackies. Tonight we had to go over and visit and he had the best time jumping with his cousin Taylor. Taylor really does a great job with Jackson and has grown closer to him since she went on a long weekend with us. She just seems to 'know' how to engage him. It was heartwarming to see them together tonight...
Monday, October 29, 2007
Super Why
Maybe the post title is misleading. Perhaps it should say, "Super Why".
Super Why is a cute new computer animated show on PBS. Though Jackson isn't able to watch it on TV (as it's on at 9:00 am), he loves the website; and so do I! Yes, it's still a show geared towards kids younger than him, (which means Cal is benefiting from it too!). But, he's playing many of the games on the site including spelling games and vocabulary exercises. He's recently taken to identifying with the main character (Wyatt) "Super Why with the power to read," and maybe, somehow, by the grace of God, Jackson will gain the power to read.
Want to check it out for yourself? Here's a link:
www.pbskids.org/superwhy
Super Why has already made magic in our house: we created an iron on using images from the web and viola Jackson is wearing long sleeved shirts...yes, we've graduated beyond the Bert and Ernie patches.
Super Why is a cute new computer animated show on PBS. Though Jackson isn't able to watch it on TV (as it's on at 9:00 am), he loves the website; and so do I! Yes, it's still a show geared towards kids younger than him, (which means Cal is benefiting from it too!). But, he's playing many of the games on the site including spelling games and vocabulary exercises. He's recently taken to identifying with the main character (Wyatt) "Super Why with the power to read," and maybe, somehow, by the grace of God, Jackson will gain the power to read.
Want to check it out for yourself? Here's a link:
www.pbskids.org/superwhy
Super Why has already made magic in our house: we created an iron on using images from the web and viola Jackson is wearing long sleeved shirts...yes, we've graduated beyond the Bert and Ernie patches.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
How you can tell when:
you've pushed your son too far:
- he stims on one phrase over and over
- he returns to a previous stim phrases
- he easily frustrates/cries/lashes out
- he repeatedly asks for something he knows he cannot have
- he does all of the above
"All of the above" would describe Jackson tonight. Today, Dan took him to Science Central (local kids science museum), Wal-Mart for groceries, Home Depot for paint then out to dinner at Chik-Fil-A. Maybe it was just a bit too much for him.
BUT, we all know what it's like to have "just one more thing" to get down. Sometimes in ASD land, one more thing is just enough to push a kid over the edge.
hmmmm....I hope he's sleeping now......
Thursday, October 25, 2007
"2:00 am and I'm still awake....
can you help me unravel my latest mistake..."
So, I'm not Anna Nalick, but my latest mistake was letting Jackson open the gift dvd from Aunt Rainey and Uncle Robbie "Jack's Big Music Show". Well, Jax loves this show and so we were all up at 3 am watching it while he squealed with delight. At least it's a tolerable show...I can't imagine Barney at 3 am and sleep deprived.
He's tired today (so am I); it makes him more mellow. I'm hoping he'll fall asleep early tonight.
So, I'm not Anna Nalick, but my latest mistake was letting Jackson open the gift dvd from Aunt Rainey and Uncle Robbie "Jack's Big Music Show". Well, Jax loves this show and so we were all up at 3 am watching it while he squealed with delight. At least it's a tolerable show...I can't imagine Barney at 3 am and sleep deprived.
He's tired today (so am I); it makes him more mellow. I'm hoping he'll fall asleep early tonight.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Art
Jackson is working on the art badge/pin in Cub Scouts. It was one of the electives I knew he could do without a bunch of help from me. So far we've worked on a color wheel (using paint so he could see how the colors changed using primary colors), and a collage of sorts with cut-outs and stickers of things he likes and does. We also worked on a clay sculpture. The art teacher at school fired it for us. I brought it home and have asked him a few times if he wanted to paint it; "No" emphatically was the answer. Guess what Jackson decided to do this morning? Yep, use the poster paints to paint his fish. Actually, as it dries it looks more messy, but he was pretty deliberate about using different colors and definitely had a plan for how he wanted it to look.
Just once, for even a moment, I'd like to get into that head of his and 'hear' what he is really thinking...sometimes I wonder if he thinks like he talks, ya know? Because, I think like I talk. I hear my words in my head...can Jackson here complete thoughts or is it more random, like his words...hmmmmm....
Just once, for even a moment, I'd like to get into that head of his and 'hear' what he is really thinking...sometimes I wonder if he thinks like he talks, ya know? Because, I think like I talk. I hear my words in my head...can Jackson here complete thoughts or is it more random, like his words...hmmmmm....
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Stuck
When Jackson gets an idea in his head about something, many times it's almost impossible to dissuade him. He's literally like a broken record (or a skipping CD in todays lingo).
Today, it's that he wants to go to the bookstore...Barnes and Noble actually. He wants to go and buy another Arthur and DW doll. Never mind the fact that he already has four of each. I think he's decided it's his life mission to hoard all the Arthur dolls in NE Indiana!
This, of course, as always comes back to something I did that backfired on me. When he started 4th grade we decided to discourage taking 'toys' to school. For Jackson, toys are a multitude of Sesame Street characters, Teletubbies, or Muppets Characters. Previously he took up to half a dozen such toys to school everyday in a cinch sack. We decided maybe 4th grade was the time to limit such a habit and replace it with a more age appropriate practice. This was the advent of Arthur. In all my infinite wisdom I decided Arthur was an age appropriate character he liked. So, I bought him an Arthur with a backpack at B & N and told him, that Arthur was going to 4th grade with him. We even took pictures of Arthur with him at school as he visited his classroom before school started.
So, we've graduated to taking 8 characters to school each day in the cinch sack (again) 4 Arthurs and 4 DW's . Each, of course, is carrying a backpack, ready for school.
Sometimes, I'd just love to get inside his head.....
Today, it's that he wants to go to the bookstore...Barnes and Noble actually. He wants to go and buy another Arthur and DW doll. Never mind the fact that he already has four of each. I think he's decided it's his life mission to hoard all the Arthur dolls in NE Indiana!
This, of course, as always comes back to something I did that backfired on me. When he started 4th grade we decided to discourage taking 'toys' to school. For Jackson, toys are a multitude of Sesame Street characters, Teletubbies, or Muppets Characters. Previously he took up to half a dozen such toys to school everyday in a cinch sack. We decided maybe 4th grade was the time to limit such a habit and replace it with a more age appropriate practice. This was the advent of Arthur. In all my infinite wisdom I decided Arthur was an age appropriate character he liked. So, I bought him an Arthur with a backpack at B & N and told him, that Arthur was going to 4th grade with him. We even took pictures of Arthur with him at school as he visited his classroom before school started.
So, we've graduated to taking 8 characters to school each day in the cinch sack (again) 4 Arthurs and 4 DW's . Each, of course, is carrying a backpack, ready for school.
Sometimes, I'd just love to get inside his head.....
Thursday, October 18, 2007
In Your Face
Again.
I had out all the old paperwork from the beginning of this journey. Back then there were countless appointments and professionals all with different opinions, most afraid to say the 'a' word to us.
Came across the technical medical reports from the child neurologist we drove 2 hours each way to see. As a glance over the reports some of the words still jab at me like a knife:
"abnormal"
"dysfunctional"
"no response"
"delayed"
"damaged"
*Sigh* it's been, what? Six years and these words still take my breath from me. They echo in my mind and bounce off the walls reminding me of all the things my son is not. Making it difficult to focus on all the things he is...
tender
curious
gentle
hesitant
happy, yes, I think so
happy
So, why is it then, that these worn-out words on an old report strike out at me?
hmmmm
autism is a journey, not a joyride.
I had out all the old paperwork from the beginning of this journey. Back then there were countless appointments and professionals all with different opinions, most afraid to say the 'a' word to us.
Came across the technical medical reports from the child neurologist we drove 2 hours each way to see. As a glance over the reports some of the words still jab at me like a knife:
"abnormal"
"dysfunctional"
"no response"
"delayed"
"damaged"
*Sigh* it's been, what? Six years and these words still take my breath from me. They echo in my mind and bounce off the walls reminding me of all the things my son is not. Making it difficult to focus on all the things he is...
tender
curious
gentle
hesitant
happy, yes, I think so
happy
So, why is it then, that these worn-out words on an old report strike out at me?
hmmmm
autism is a journey, not a joyride.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
"how can his outside...
look so normal and his inside be so broken?" from Rules by Cynthia Lord.
Wow! This is a great book, I'm only half way through but totally recommend it to anyone who knows and loves a kid with autism.
Enough said.
Jackson is 10! He is convinced now that we're headed back to Disney (since I told him we're going to mickey mouses house because you're going to be 10, it's the Disney Double Digit). Yeah, can you say "idiot", AGAIN! I just forget how very literally the kid absorbs things. Now, he gets up in the morning and announces, "It's time to pack your bags".
Broken....
Wow! This is a great book, I'm only half way through but totally recommend it to anyone who knows and loves a kid with autism.
Enough said.
Jackson is 10! He is convinced now that we're headed back to Disney (since I told him we're going to mickey mouses house because you're going to be 10, it's the Disney Double Digit). Yeah, can you say "idiot", AGAIN! I just forget how very literally the kid absorbs things. Now, he gets up in the morning and announces, "It's time to pack your bags".
Broken....
Monday, October 8, 2007
Here we Are
The rash is basically gone, thanks to zyrtec and steriod cream.
He'll be 10 Friday. I can hardly believe it!
We went to Lazer X for his birthday party. It was such a wonderful time. Who would have guessed that I'd survive with 6 boys and Jackson? The boys were all sooo good. I kept waiting for it to get crazy. Granted, my tolerance is probably greater than most; especially for these boys who are so good to Jackson. They agreed to eating cake and ice cream almost as soon as we arrived b/c Jax was starving. Then when we sang to Jackson, he insisted we sing to Arthur (not him). For some strange reason, he doesn't like "happy birthday dear Jackson"...anyway, all seemed to have a good time, Jackson included. Which meant I had a good time.
He'll be 10 Friday. I can hardly believe it!
We went to Lazer X for his birthday party. It was such a wonderful time. Who would have guessed that I'd survive with 6 boys and Jackson? The boys were all sooo good. I kept waiting for it to get crazy. Granted, my tolerance is probably greater than most; especially for these boys who are so good to Jackson. They agreed to eating cake and ice cream almost as soon as we arrived b/c Jax was starving. Then when we sang to Jackson, he insisted we sing to Arthur (not him). For some strange reason, he doesn't like "happy birthday dear Jackson"...anyway, all seemed to have a good time, Jackson included. Which meant I had a good time.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Poison Something
I got a call from the school today; Jack has a rash on his leg and it's also in the crease of his elbow.
I pick him up, swing by CVS for Benedryl and Calomine gel; then get him home to find it's all up and down his leg and on his rear end! I'm wondering if he sat in something? I can't imagine where or when!!!!
Dan'll take him to the dr. tomorrow.
I pick him up, swing by CVS for Benedryl and Calomine gel; then get him home to find it's all up and down his leg and on his rear end! I'm wondering if he sat in something? I can't imagine where or when!!!!
Dan'll take him to the dr. tomorrow.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
The Struggle of Late
We're celebrating that Jackson is more actively choosing to play in the toy room. Cal is mourning. Here is a glimpse:
Cal playing shake up race cars and having them crash into mini dinosaurs.
Jax playing dinosaurs decides to pick up a mini dinosaur.
Cal screams
Jax screams
Both go back to separate playing.
Then Jax picks up a shake up car.
Cal yells NO
Jax screams.
How can I get my four year old to understand how HUGE it is for Jackson to be initiating this play? I'll keep working at it; I'm learning as I go. Believe me, I'm making my share of mistakes!
Cal playing shake up race cars and having them crash into mini dinosaurs.
Jax playing dinosaurs decides to pick up a mini dinosaur.
Cal screams
Jax screams
Both go back to separate playing.
Then Jax picks up a shake up car.
Cal yells NO
Jax screams.
How can I get my four year old to understand how HUGE it is for Jackson to be initiating this play? I'll keep working at it; I'm learning as I go. Believe me, I'm making my share of mistakes!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Pondering the Party
Jackson turns 10 soon. That in itself is enough to give me a coronary; but now I also have to try and decide how to best celebrate his birthday. We were going to skip the party this year b/c we spent a small fortune at Disney, but then I realized this may be one of his last parties. So, I at first decided to go with Build A Bear b/c Jackson loves it and his friends still seem to as well. But, as I thought more about it, I worried about the coolness factor that becomes for most boys around 10....
I cancelled with BABW and booked with Lazer X and I'm hoping and praying Jackson handles it ok and is actually able to ENJOY himself...
I cancelled with BABW and booked with Lazer X and I'm hoping and praying Jackson handles it ok and is actually able to ENJOY himself...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Environmental Audit
I talked to Jackson's teacher the day of open house. She was curious about his activities/behaviors at home. It got me thinking about how he spends his time at home. Today, I really paid attention to it (basically from 3:00 on). So here is a synopsis:
3:00 asks me to build a fire: "fire? you build a fire?"
3:15 goes outside to the fire pit
3:20 brings out 25 stuffed animals to enjoy the fire
[don't want to continue w/the times...]
put Pooh on a lawn chair to enjoy the fire
stimmed on the phrase: "pooh is in the fire pit" repeating it at least 50 times
put a blanket around Pooh
dropped sticks in the fire pit
swung on the swing set
fed pooh pizza
knocked on the door and said: "daddy come outside"
later came inside and played on Noggin.com
asked to go on a bike ride
All in all, I was pleased with this. I thought I might be disappointed; that there would be an excessive amount of stimming; excessive inappropriate behavior. Yes, he's autistic. Yes, there were certainly times he was "stuck in his own world" but all in all, I wasn't disappointed....
3:00 asks me to build a fire: "fire? you build a fire?"
3:15 goes outside to the fire pit
3:20 brings out 25 stuffed animals to enjoy the fire
[don't want to continue w/the times...]
put Pooh on a lawn chair to enjoy the fire
stimmed on the phrase: "pooh is in the fire pit" repeating it at least 50 times
put a blanket around Pooh
dropped sticks in the fire pit
swung on the swing set
fed pooh pizza
knocked on the door and said: "daddy come outside"
later came inside and played on Noggin.com
asked to go on a bike ride
All in all, I was pleased with this. I thought I might be disappointed; that there would be an excessive amount of stimming; excessive inappropriate behavior. Yes, he's autistic. Yes, there were certainly times he was "stuck in his own world" but all in all, I wasn't disappointed....
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wow Wow Wubzy!
Tonight was Open House at school for Jack. This event has been a struggle in the past. Jax view is: "Hey, I already went to school once today, why would I want to go back?" So, given our current circumstances I decided to forego the open house.
I picked him up from school and we stopped by the book fair before coming home. All week he's been on a kick, "Daddy will bring you a prize, Daddy bring you wow, wow wubzy or go Diego go" He really hammered this idea and I finally put it together last night and realized he must have seen a book at the book fair. Sure enough, there was a Wubzy book right next to a Diego book. At first, he acted like he didn't want it, but then asked to put it in his bookbag.
Of course, we now have the Wubzy book in our collection...
I picked him up from school and we stopped by the book fair before coming home. All week he's been on a kick, "Daddy will bring you a prize, Daddy bring you wow, wow wubzy or go Diego go" He really hammered this idea and I finally put it together last night and realized he must have seen a book at the book fair. Sure enough, there was a Wubzy book right next to a Diego book. At first, he acted like he didn't want it, but then asked to put it in his bookbag.
Of course, we now have the Wubzy book in our collection...
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Soccer Success!!!
We started the fall soccer season tonight. I figured Jack might not want to go to practice as he's still adjusting to being home and back in school. So, I asked him if he wanted to go to soccer and he said, "yeah, soccer". This was really a surprise!
We hustled into soccer clothes waited for Dad to make it home and headed to the field. He has an excellent coach! Dave is focused on fundamentals which is a perfect match for Jackson. He's made such a marked improvement since he started soccer. It's so exciting for us to witness the change and growth. We're humbled and so grateful for the community we live in; so willing to include and accommodate him...
The first game is Saturday.
BTW, Cal is starting his first season of soccer Saturday too! ;)
We hustled into soccer clothes waited for Dad to make it home and headed to the field. He has an excellent coach! Dave is focused on fundamentals which is a perfect match for Jackson. He's made such a marked improvement since he started soccer. It's so exciting for us to witness the change and growth. We're humbled and so grateful for the community we live in; so willing to include and accommodate him...
The first game is Saturday.
BTW, Cal is starting his first season of soccer Saturday too! ;)
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Beyond Disney
So, I just read that post and noticed [again] the date. How could I forget?
Where were you on September 11th?
I found out about the planes hitting the towers on my way back to work from a home visit with a family notorious for truancy. I'm driving down highway 6 and hear a live interruption on the radio. I don't honestly remember which plane it was, but I remember being panicked and just wanting to go home and hug my son. Dan was home and hadn't even turned on the TV yet; when he did, I could just hear his reaction over the phone: shock, disbelief...
Then, there was my job. Trying to decide how to handle 650 kids and 35 teachers with different ideas about how/what to tell them. Parents coming in and out of the building all day to pick up kids; they didn't know what else to do but hug kids close to them. The three Arabic families who all but disappeared in the weeks after the attacks...I still wonder about those families...
The date isn't one you'll forget. Probably like what it was like to be alive when:
Pearl Harbor was attacked
We dropped the bomb in Japan
JFK was assassinated
NASA landed on the moon
MLK was assassinated
Elvis died
The shuttle exploded (1986)
Princess Diana died
It also strikes me, that on 9/11/01 I was just coming to terms with the idea that my son had autism. I was probably still a bit in the state of denial. Still hoping beyond hope something would change that diagnosis; that somehow the child nuerologist was wrong and the 4 other professionals who danced around the a-word were right...
God Bless America, bless those who lost a loved one in the horror. Bless the heros who put their fellow man and country before themselves. Keep us safe.
Where were you on September 11th?
I found out about the planes hitting the towers on my way back to work from a home visit with a family notorious for truancy. I'm driving down highway 6 and hear a live interruption on the radio. I don't honestly remember which plane it was, but I remember being panicked and just wanting to go home and hug my son. Dan was home and hadn't even turned on the TV yet; when he did, I could just hear his reaction over the phone: shock, disbelief...
Then, there was my job. Trying to decide how to handle 650 kids and 35 teachers with different ideas about how/what to tell them. Parents coming in and out of the building all day to pick up kids; they didn't know what else to do but hug kids close to them. The three Arabic families who all but disappeared in the weeks after the attacks...I still wonder about those families...
The date isn't one you'll forget. Probably like what it was like to be alive when:
Pearl Harbor was attacked
We dropped the bomb in Japan
JFK was assassinated
NASA landed on the moon
MLK was assassinated
Elvis died
The shuttle exploded (1986)
Princess Diana died
It also strikes me, that on 9/11/01 I was just coming to terms with the idea that my son had autism. I was probably still a bit in the state of denial. Still hoping beyond hope something would change that diagnosis; that somehow the child nuerologist was wrong and the 4 other professionals who danced around the a-word were right...
God Bless America, bless those who lost a loved one in the horror. Bless the heros who put their fellow man and country before themselves. Keep us safe.
So Here's the Thing
We had a good time at Disney. It was wonderful to be there when there weren't many people and definitely magical to see Jackson hugging Pooh, Tigger and Stitch; humorous to have Cal hiding under the table from the same characters.
But....
The thing is, it didn't start off great. In fact, though there were moments of greatness, I wasn't ready for the let down. No matter how much we prepare or what accommodations we make, the things is, Jackson still has AUTISM. So, it takes him time to settle in. It takes time to adjust; take it all in. The truth: I wasn't prepared for that. I thought I had my ducks in a row (we scheduled our visit for the least busy time of the year, traveled at times accommodating to his schedule and just hung out at the hotel pool Sunday); thought I could spare him anxiety and meltdowns. I can't. He has autism.
Sorry to be a downer, it just sucks that once again, autism colors our world. And truly it is our world. Our family is colored by this disability. Our experiences, joys, travels, everything is colored; kind of like the puzzle pieces that have become the autism icon.
Disney was great. Epcot was truly a family favorite; we all enjoyed Soarin and the Test Track. Both boys loved Buzz Lightyear and the Dumbo Elephants. We were all scared half to death in the dinosaur ride and my eternal favorite remains "It's a Small World". It was magical, it was larger than life. Just not larger than life with autism.....
But....
The thing is, it didn't start off great. In fact, though there were moments of greatness, I wasn't ready for the let down. No matter how much we prepare or what accommodations we make, the things is, Jackson still has AUTISM. So, it takes him time to settle in. It takes time to adjust; take it all in. The truth: I wasn't prepared for that. I thought I had my ducks in a row (we scheduled our visit for the least busy time of the year, traveled at times accommodating to his schedule and just hung out at the hotel pool Sunday); thought I could spare him anxiety and meltdowns. I can't. He has autism.
Sorry to be a downer, it just sucks that once again, autism colors our world. And truly it is our world. Our family is colored by this disability. Our experiences, joys, travels, everything is colored; kind of like the puzzle pieces that have become the autism icon.
Disney was great. Epcot was truly a family favorite; we all enjoyed Soarin and the Test Track. Both boys loved Buzz Lightyear and the Dumbo Elephants. We were all scared half to death in the dinosaur ride and my eternal favorite remains "It's a Small World". It was magical, it was larger than life. Just not larger than life with autism.....
Saturday, September 1, 2007
thinking back
We're getting ready to fly to Orlando; so excited about visiting Disney! Thinking about flying reminds me of the last time we flew to see my sister in Texas. I kept telling Jax "we're going to fly on the plane to see Cora and Lukie". I didn't think much about this, and told Jack several times we'd see Cora and Luke.
Well, after the long drive to O'hare and a delayed flight, we finally boarded the plan. And Jackson's first words as we entered the plane, "Where are the kids?"
I spent the flight trying to explain that we'd be staying at Cora's house and sleeping there. It was heartbreaking and I felt like an idiot for forgetting how literal Jackson can be.
So, as we prepare to visit Disney, we're sure to tell him we'll be sleeping there, and swimming, and so much more!!!
Well, after the long drive to O'hare and a delayed flight, we finally boarded the plan. And Jackson's first words as we entered the plane, "Where are the kids?"
I spent the flight trying to explain that we'd be staying at Cora's house and sleeping there. It was heartbreaking and I felt like an idiot for forgetting how literal Jackson can be.
So, as we prepare to visit Disney, we're sure to tell him we'll be sleeping there, and swimming, and so much more!!!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Adjusting
Once again, Jackson is adjusting to the change in routine school brings. He didn't sleep well the past couple of nights, so we resorted to Benedryl. He's sleeping soundly.
Tonight, he did a cut & glue homework paper matching lower to upper case letters. I let him do it independently to see how he would do, and he did VERY well! I noticed one wrong and before I said anything, I watched him move it to the right spot!!!
Sometimes I wonder if we really are giving him things that are too easy for him.....
Tonight, he did a cut & glue homework paper matching lower to upper case letters. I let him do it independently to see how he would do, and he did VERY well! I noticed one wrong and before I said anything, I watched him move it to the right spot!!!
Sometimes I wonder if we really are giving him things that are too easy for him.....
Monday, August 27, 2007
The Dentist
Jackson went to the dentist today...no cavities!!!!!
But going to the dentist for Jax is so much more than that sentence above implies. When we first took Jackson to the dentist, he wouldn't even sit in the chair. We had to take him back to the exam room kicking and screaming. [We almost didn't return to this wonderful dentist b/c of the evil looks I felt that we got from some of the staff--come on, I'm thinking , this kid is autistic and you work for a pediatric dentist who specializes in difficult kids like mine. I digress].
We took baby steps toward where we are today. Jack actually goes to the dentist every 3 months. He no longer needs Dan to sit in the chair and hold him. He willingly sits down and opens his mouth (though he screams still in protest).
Two years ago, at the beginning of second grade, he missed the first day of school because he had to have dental surgery. This sounds much worse than it is. A nt kid would have just gone to the dentist, but Jackson had to get up at 5 am and go to the hospital to fill 4 cavities, pull a tooth, have his teeth cleaned and his permanent teeth sealed. I truly hope we don't have to do that again any time soon.
He now has all his permanent teeth. He won't lose anymore teeth, which we're all relieved about because every time he lost a tooth we wondered where it was, did he swallow it and how long was it loose? (He had a tendency to pull out a loose tooth sooner than most kids; he couldn't stand that loose sensation I guess).
Well, I'm quite proud of the fact that he now willingly walks into the building and acts semi-appropriately. Honest truth? Sometimes I'd like to scream my head off when they're scraping the plaque off my teeth too!!! ;)
But going to the dentist for Jax is so much more than that sentence above implies. When we first took Jackson to the dentist, he wouldn't even sit in the chair. We had to take him back to the exam room kicking and screaming. [We almost didn't return to this wonderful dentist b/c of the evil looks I felt that we got from some of the staff--come on, I'm thinking , this kid is autistic and you work for a pediatric dentist who specializes in difficult kids like mine. I digress].
We took baby steps toward where we are today. Jack actually goes to the dentist every 3 months. He no longer needs Dan to sit in the chair and hold him. He willingly sits down and opens his mouth (though he screams still in protest).
Two years ago, at the beginning of second grade, he missed the first day of school because he had to have dental surgery. This sounds much worse than it is. A nt kid would have just gone to the dentist, but Jackson had to get up at 5 am and go to the hospital to fill 4 cavities, pull a tooth, have his teeth cleaned and his permanent teeth sealed. I truly hope we don't have to do that again any time soon.
He now has all his permanent teeth. He won't lose anymore teeth, which we're all relieved about because every time he lost a tooth we wondered where it was, did he swallow it and how long was it loose? (He had a tendency to pull out a loose tooth sooner than most kids; he couldn't stand that loose sensation I guess).
Well, I'm quite proud of the fact that he now willingly walks into the building and acts semi-appropriately. Honest truth? Sometimes I'd like to scream my head off when they're scraping the plaque off my teeth too!!! ;)
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Music
I have to wonder how many other autistic kids are totally motivated by music. Jackson is very into music. Today in church Grandpa sang with his music group Chords. Which meant he also played his trombone and bass guitar. Jackson was very well behaved in church. He didn't need any re-directing or distraction activity to keep him quiet. In fact, he was quite engaged with the program.
One of his favorite things to do lately is to play his miniature electric guitar (like Daddy's) and watch himself in the mirror while he sings.
There he is 'jamming'. Now if I could just figure out a way to channel this interest....
One of his favorite things to do lately is to play his miniature electric guitar (like Daddy's) and watch himself in the mirror while he sings.
There he is 'jamming'. Now if I could just figure out a way to channel this interest....
Friday, August 24, 2007
Is and Isn't
Jackson is:
gentle
innocent
funny
loving
happy
sometimes silly
resilient
Jackson isn't:
mean
talkative
athletic
artistic
mature
Just thinking of the things Jackson is and isn't. When I limit myself to one word to describe the things he isn't it just "feels" better. I sometimes get hung up on what he isn't...
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Again...
he surprises me with his resilience. Today he road the bus to the sitter's after school. I expected him to be anxious about this. Prepared to leave a meeting early, but again, he rose to the occasion. He fell into step at the sitter's and was calm and content until I picked him up.
What a wonderful surprise! I need moments like this to reflect back on during his regressions.
What a wonderful surprise! I need moments like this to reflect back on during his regressions.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Resilience
Resilience, Jackson's store of it amazes me. Then again, all kids are relatively resilient aren't they? There are times I forget what 'normal' is and compare my son against too strong (or sometimes too weak)a standard. For all I know, this could be something all parents struggle with.
School is really work for him, some days he'd just rather stay in bed (today being one of them) and dad feels like the big meanie for putting him on the bus fussy. Somehow, he is able to put it together and manage his day. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall--just to see how he really does. Then again, that might be painful. (Maybe I need a dose of resilience myself).
School is really work for him, some days he'd just rather stay in bed (today being one of them) and dad feels like the big meanie for putting him on the bus fussy. Somehow, he is able to put it together and manage his day. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall--just to see how he really does. Then again, that might be painful. (Maybe I need a dose of resilience myself).
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The Shiner
Dan and I decided (what were we thinking?) to paint several areas of the house today. Which left the boys to basically more or less fend for themselves. For the most part, things were going well, I even let Cal 'help' me in the toy room. [We had to BAN Jackson from helping because we had to paint in the kitchen because he decided to channel Da Vinci.]
At any rate, the boys are in the bedroom watching Ice Age on TV and giggling and being silly. I hear Cal say, "Jack, Stop It!" then a few minutes later Jackson is crying his eyes out. I run back to see what happened. Jack is crying and Cal has a poker face. I asked "what happened?They both respond at the same time: Cal-"he fell" Jack-"My eye". After a quick investigation I learned that Cal had punched Jackson in the eye!
Well, Cal has lost game boy privileges for a week...but poor Jackson; it hurt his feelings and really hurt him too. Jack would never hurt Cal intentionally. He just doesn't have it in him.
On another note, this morning laying in bed Cal asked me, "Mom, when Jackson is a grown up will he still have autism?"
At any rate, the boys are in the bedroom watching Ice Age on TV and giggling and being silly. I hear Cal say, "Jack, Stop It!" then a few minutes later Jackson is crying his eyes out. I run back to see what happened. Jack is crying and Cal has a poker face. I asked "what happened?They both respond at the same time: Cal-"he fell" Jack-"My eye". After a quick investigation I learned that Cal had punched Jackson in the eye!
Well, Cal has lost game boy privileges for a week...but poor Jackson; it hurt his feelings and really hurt him too. Jack would never hurt Cal intentionally. He just doesn't have it in him.
On another note, this morning laying in bed Cal asked me, "Mom, when Jackson is a grown up will he still have autism?"
Friday, August 17, 2007
Triumph
School today was a huge success. He spent a lot of time with his peers, acting completely appropriate, attending, engaged. What a relief for me. Stealing a phrase from a good friend, his 'autism angel' must have been with him today.
He has a new job, he'll be collecting the morning lunch counts from all classes and taking them to the office. I thrilled with this responsibility for him.
More than anything, I'm pleased that he was relaxed and comfortable.
Chalk one up for the good guys.
He has a new job, he'll be collecting the morning lunch counts from all classes and taking them to the office. I thrilled with this responsibility for him.
More than anything, I'm pleased that he was relaxed and comfortable.
Chalk one up for the good guys.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
School
starts tomorrow. I can't believe he's starting fourth grade!
I desperately want him to be content and comfortable. I'm doing my best to see that he is, but it's such an adjustment. We'll just have to wait and see how things go and give him time to adjust to the change.
My one wish for fourth grade? I want him to learn to read, really read. He so enjoys books, but he's not yet looking at print...
Deep within him, I know lurks a brilliant little man. He's definitely intelligent. It's in there, it's just a matter of bring it to the surface...
Ah, the late night ramblings of a tired school teacher....
I desperately want him to be content and comfortable. I'm doing my best to see that he is, but it's such an adjustment. We'll just have to wait and see how things go and give him time to adjust to the change.
My one wish for fourth grade? I want him to learn to read, really read. He so enjoys books, but he's not yet looking at print...
Deep within him, I know lurks a brilliant little man. He's definitely intelligent. It's in there, it's just a matter of bring it to the surface...
Ah, the late night ramblings of a tired school teacher....
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
From behind the looking glass
More than ever, I feel like I am an outsider looking in.
Cal's normal life is a reminder of how abnormal Jackson's is and that's just such a bitter pill to swallow.
Jackson is included in so many ways: boy scouts, soccer, basketball camp, gymnastics. People know him that we don't know. And yet; I'm reminded again that we're just outsiders looking in on life for everyone else. We live inside a glass shell, able to see out, but not interact in the world around us. It's depressing.
Now the world around us is pressing in. Cal is in that world around us, functioning. He's laughing, returning conversations with others. He's got real friendships. I'm so happy for him, and even more heartbroken for the missing pieces in Jackson's life....
Cal's normal life is a reminder of how abnormal Jackson's is and that's just such a bitter pill to swallow.
Jackson is included in so many ways: boy scouts, soccer, basketball camp, gymnastics. People know him that we don't know. And yet; I'm reminded again that we're just outsiders looking in on life for everyone else. We live inside a glass shell, able to see out, but not interact in the world around us. It's depressing.
Now the world around us is pressing in. Cal is in that world around us, functioning. He's laughing, returning conversations with others. He's got real friendships. I'm so happy for him, and even more heartbroken for the missing pieces in Jackson's life....
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Quagmire
Isn't a quagmire a difficult situation with no acceptable option?
Yeah, that's what autism brings to our life so often. Our current situation regards making a choice for Jackson. If it were Callahan (my NT son) there would be a clear acceptable option. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Whichever way we go, there will be a negative consequence. So, I suck it up and hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
I've got this momma instinct that's telling me one thing and this reasonable, rational part of me reminding me this can work out....
a quagmire....
Monday, August 13, 2007
Meaningful Language
Jackson has some meaningful language but even more repetitive phrases which are 'pat' answers. It's more than a little frustrating.
Today, he dropped a shoe to his dinosaur and I told him. He said, "I'll get it"
Wow.
That 3 word sentence was so much more meaningful to me than some of his common 6 or 8 word sentences. I just wish I could get more of this kind of language from him.
So often, he'll repeat a phrase and repeat until we validate his statement. It's beyond frustrating and means so little.
For today, I'm happy with this sentence.
Today, he dropped a shoe to his dinosaur and I told him. He said, "I'll get it"
Wow.
That 3 word sentence was so much more meaningful to me than some of his common 6 or 8 word sentences. I just wish I could get more of this kind of language from him.
So often, he'll repeat a phrase and repeat until we validate his statement. It's beyond frustrating and means so little.
For today, I'm happy with this sentence.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Prayers
Jackson has always prayed with a sweet heart. Today in church during prayer time his prayer was just so touching. It always brings tears to my eyes. He prays for children he hasn't been in school with since pre-school. He prays for teachers and today he prayed for his Aunt Lauralee. I truly think he just has a sense about him regarding who is in need of prayer. It's the most touching thing to hear him pray....
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Road Trip
Went to visit my sister in Evansville and stopped in at Holiday World. Jackson did pretty well overall on the long drive. He got a bit silly on the way home, but I think that's probably normal for any kid.
I was really proud of him at Holiday World. He went on the log ride...didn't really want to, but he did. He didn't like it much and wouldn't do it again, but he did go without an issue. Callahan loved it and wanted to go again right away...
We also rode the raging river ride. It's one of the big circular seat type ride which generally drenches you. Jackson was especially nervous about this one. We all went on it and kept reminding him there were, "no hills". He seemed to enjoy it and willingly got on it a second time, so I feel like it was progress. He was definitely more flexible and willing to try 'some' new things. He LOVED the wave pool and rode the huge swings squealing with delight the whole time.
Honestly, I'm just grateful we're able to get out and do things like this. I know it's not easy for him to try new things and I'm glad he's willing to risk it.
I was really proud of him at Holiday World. He went on the log ride...didn't really want to, but he did. He didn't like it much and wouldn't do it again, but he did go without an issue. Callahan loved it and wanted to go again right away...
We also rode the raging river ride. It's one of the big circular seat type ride which generally drenches you. Jackson was especially nervous about this one. We all went on it and kept reminding him there were, "no hills". He seemed to enjoy it and willingly got on it a second time, so I feel like it was progress. He was definitely more flexible and willing to try 'some' new things. He LOVED the wave pool and rode the huge swings squealing with delight the whole time.
Honestly, I'm just grateful we're able to get out and do things like this. I know it's not easy for him to try new things and I'm glad he's willing to risk it.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Cabin Fever
Jackson is really having trouble with the 'no predictable schedule' situation that the end of summer school has created. He wanders a lot, has difficulty concentrating and is generally mischievous.
Having said that, we're noting some cool 'progress':
Having said that, we're noting some cool 'progress':
- after completing an Elmo in Space puzzle earlier in the day he later put his misfit toys under a clear plastic tote and started the litany: "Spotted elephant is an astronaut, Snowman is an astronaut, Hermie is an astronaut"
- while playing the game boy and observing his brother on starfall.com: "It's Jackson's turn now", and "Can I have a turn Cal?"
- while at Magic Wand [we rode bikes to get ice cream as a family] "let's go to the park"
So, I guess he's still 'in there', but he's struggling...I think.....
Friday, August 3, 2007
Camouflage
P & P were with us for our Fun Friday adventure. Today we travelled to Muncie and visited the Children's Museum there. We've been there a handful of times before and Jackson especially enjoys the Garfield exhibits.
During our visit I observed two other obviously autistic boys. One younger than Jax exploring the water table with squeals and even got his head wet! His (mother?) by his side doing hand over hand with him, talking/prompting quietly. The other boy a teen with a 'shadow' trying to manipulate the human 'ant hill' which kids are able to crawl through.
I was struck at how obviously disabled these two boys were. Then, I looked back at my precious blue eyed boy and wondered....
We're over at the ant hill now. The four kids are crawling up down and around the structure. The teen boy becomes stuck in the ant hill; the shadow struggling to help him out, apologizing. "No big deal, my son is autistic" I let her know. "He is??" she responds and seems surprised...
Wow...just wow. But, then again, yeah. This is how it goes. Watch my little man (growing ever so taller by the day) and he seems so normal; especially in a place he's comfortable and familiar. But then, really observe him and you'll see; no you'll hear. Conversation? One sided. Interaction with others? Non-existent.
No, my dear boy isn't splashing his head into the water fountain or crying out from being stuck in the ant hill he's too large to play in. Instead, he's camouflaged by appearance. That and his generally quiet presence...
Wait, she must have missed his jumping (stimming, excited) as he watched the toy train clack along the track.
Do I love him any less? Do I give him any more? What did I do right? What did I miss and do wrong? Will he be like this as a teen? Was he ever like that before?
During our visit I observed two other obviously autistic boys. One younger than Jax exploring the water table with squeals and even got his head wet! His (mother?) by his side doing hand over hand with him, talking/prompting quietly. The other boy a teen with a 'shadow' trying to manipulate the human 'ant hill' which kids are able to crawl through.
I was struck at how obviously disabled these two boys were. Then, I looked back at my precious blue eyed boy and wondered....
We're over at the ant hill now. The four kids are crawling up down and around the structure. The teen boy becomes stuck in the ant hill; the shadow struggling to help him out, apologizing. "No big deal, my son is autistic" I let her know. "He is??" she responds and seems surprised...
Wow...just wow. But, then again, yeah. This is how it goes. Watch my little man (growing ever so taller by the day) and he seems so normal; especially in a place he's comfortable and familiar. But then, really observe him and you'll see; no you'll hear. Conversation? One sided. Interaction with others? Non-existent.
No, my dear boy isn't splashing his head into the water fountain or crying out from being stuck in the ant hill he's too large to play in. Instead, he's camouflaged by appearance. That and his generally quiet presence...
Wait, she must have missed his jumping (stimming, excited) as he watched the toy train clack along the track.
Do I love him any less? Do I give him any more? What did I do right? What did I miss and do wrong? Will he be like this as a teen? Was he ever like that before?
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Benedryl is my friend
After a few nights of being up at all hours for showers, games, TV and general mess making I resorted to Benedryl. [Our ped. recommended this for the nights when Jackson's out of whack/off schedule not sleeping]. Jackson slept all night last night. He woke up once and wanted to shower; I told him no, sleep and he went right back to sleep! Yes!
I know he'll be happier when school starts and we enter a routine again. For now, though, benedryl is my friend....sweet dreams!
I know he'll be happier when school starts and we enter a routine again. For now, though, benedryl is my friend....sweet dreams!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The Great Unkown
The hardest part for me, maybe what I struggle most with coming to terms with is the never ending question of the future. Before autism, I remember thinking of the world in front of my boy. The possibilities seemed endless. Maybe, they still are endless, but much harder for me to list. I can think of many, many things he cannot do. :(
So, I struggle, wondering what the future holds. Wondering, ultimately, what his limitations will be? Constantly fearing, his skills will peak, or worse be lost.
The unknown, didn't Poe or someone say it's the greatest fear there is? So there it is....
So, I struggle, wondering what the future holds. Wondering, ultimately, what his limitations will be? Constantly fearing, his skills will peak, or worse be lost.
The unknown, didn't Poe or someone say it's the greatest fear there is? So there it is....
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Temper, Temper
Jax didn't sleep well last night. He was up twice to shower and at 4 am Dan was schlepping his mattress into the living room so he could watch a dvd while the rest of the family tried to sleep.
Have I mentioned I become more than a little irritable when sleep deprived?
So, today, he's pulling his normal 'stunts' dropping wrappers wherever, leaving empty coke cans in the yard, leaving the back door open. In general interested only in his agenda. All the while his mattress, comforter and toys are littered across my living room. He's also being generally whiney and irritable himself.
As I was trying to cook lunch for the kids and finish laundry and clean up the mess in the living room, I snapped. I just started in on him: "alright, you've got to pick up these toys. Get out there and pick up the toys, put away your blanket...." You know, he did everything he was asked to in a timely way; too bad I have to turn into a lunatic to get a response...
Have I mentioned I become more than a little irritable when sleep deprived?
So, today, he's pulling his normal 'stunts' dropping wrappers wherever, leaving empty coke cans in the yard, leaving the back door open. In general interested only in his agenda. All the while his mattress, comforter and toys are littered across my living room. He's also being generally whiney and irritable himself.
As I was trying to cook lunch for the kids and finish laundry and clean up the mess in the living room, I snapped. I just started in on him: "alright, you've got to pick up these toys. Get out there and pick up the toys, put away your blanket...." You know, he did everything he was asked to in a timely way; too bad I have to turn into a lunatic to get a response...
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Imagination
Dh brought home the 'vintage' fisher price little people marina. It actually floats. Jackson loves this toy! It has inspired some great 'pretend play' for him. He took all this Pooh characters and had each of them jumping off the diving board, then entering the 'garage', then sliding down the lighthouse slide.
Later he took the marina to the pool and put the sesame street characters through the same scenes: jumping off the board, sliding, 'hiding' in the 'garage'. He then took them on a 'boat' ride around the pool.
There is still an air of sequence to this play, but how wonderful to see him engaging in and enjoying a toy appropriately. [Though, it's far from age appropriate].
Later he took the marina to the pool and put the sesame street characters through the same scenes: jumping off the board, sliding, 'hiding' in the 'garage'. He then took them on a 'boat' ride around the pool.
There is still an air of sequence to this play, but how wonderful to see him engaging in and enjoying a toy appropriately. [Though, it's far from age appropriate].
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Where is Jackson?
Last night, I was on my way to a party. As I prepared to back the van out of the garage I asked dh to check on Jax. Dan can't find him. He waves me on.
I proceed slowly out the garage and down the drive. I look up to see that Jackson is ON THE ROOF!!!! He had gotten out the step ladder, threw his dozen build a bear toys up there and climbed onto the ROOF!!!! Yikes!
So, now we're constantly reminding him the roof is dangerous, no climbing, staff off the roof.
What next?
I proceed slowly out the garage and down the drive. I look up to see that Jackson is ON THE ROOF!!!! He had gotten out the step ladder, threw his dozen build a bear toys up there and climbed onto the ROOF!!!! Yikes!
So, now we're constantly reminding him the roof is dangerous, no climbing, staff off the roof.
What next?
Friday, July 27, 2007
The Pom-Pom Problem
Well, Dan thought this might happen. :)
Last night, Jackson's cup was full and he got to go to Build A Bear. [He built a Cody penguin from the movie Surf's Up. Did I mention, we like that he dresses, undresses his 'bears' which is great fine motor for him] At any rate, he had a good time and we made a BIG deal of emptying the pom-pom's and reminding him it takes time to refill and many good responses before another "reward".
Well, today after Jackson cleaned up his toys in the front yard, I gave him 2 pom-poms. He asked to go "build a dinosaur"; I revisited how long it takes to earn the 'reward' and that he has to "fill up the cup" to get a reward.
I come back from folding laundry to discover the empty baggie of pom-pom's and his cup overflowing with pom-poms. I had to laugh. [Which was probably a fatal parenting error on my part]. I was just thrilled that he tried to 'pull one over on me'. Or, maybe he just took the full cup comment literally. Either way, it was a pleasant episode for me.
Last night, Jackson's cup was full and he got to go to Build A Bear. [He built a Cody penguin from the movie Surf's Up. Did I mention, we like that he dresses, undresses his 'bears' which is great fine motor for him] At any rate, he had a good time and we made a BIG deal of emptying the pom-pom's and reminding him it takes time to refill and many good responses before another "reward".
Well, today after Jackson cleaned up his toys in the front yard, I gave him 2 pom-poms. He asked to go "build a dinosaur"; I revisited how long it takes to earn the 'reward' and that he has to "fill up the cup" to get a reward.
I come back from folding laundry to discover the empty baggie of pom-pom's and his cup overflowing with pom-poms. I had to laugh. [Which was probably a fatal parenting error on my part]. I was just thrilled that he tried to 'pull one over on me'. Or, maybe he just took the full cup comment literally. Either way, it was a pleasant episode for me.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Jack's Big Music Show
Have you seen this show on Noggin? Jackson LOVES it! I think he's convinced that it's his Big Music Show. He loves visiting the Noggin website to play games and is in heaven when he can watch the show at grandmas.
Today, I was able to make him a couple of shirts with the characters on them. He immediately put the shirt on and ran outside. So happy. Again, it's so easy to make him happy.
Today was his last day of summer school. I think he really enjoyed going. He's struggling a bit for a consistent schedule b/c we broke up the school routine with boy scout camp. So, it'll take a couple of days for him to figure out that he's done with summer school....
Today, I was able to make him a couple of shirts with the characters on them. He immediately put the shirt on and ran outside. So happy. Again, it's so easy to make him happy.
Today was his last day of summer school. I think he really enjoyed going. He's struggling a bit for a consistent schedule b/c we broke up the school routine with boy scout camp. So, it'll take a couple of days for him to figure out that he's done with summer school....
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Birthdays & Pom Poms
Today was Zachary's birthday. Jackson really did well at the party. Played a lot with water balloons, and jumped on the neighbors trampoline.
He's become comfortable at Dad's house, but again, prefers to do his own thing.
He helped Zach blow out the candles and insisted we turn out the lights to sing. It was a nice evening, we all enjoyed being there.
So we have this incentive system (I copied from my sister Joy) where we give Cal small pom-poms in a cup for behaving/listening/sharing, etc. Once the cup is filled Cal gets to pick a reward: TokensNTickets, Putt Putt, Chuck-E-Cheese, whatever. Well, Dan started a cup for Jackson. He is ALL about the pom-poms. He is anxious to fill his cup and go to Build A Bear. [We've GOT to buy stock in that company!] He's become uber-sensitive to directives and inquires, "pom-pom?" at least ten times a day...hey, whatever works, eh?
He's become comfortable at Dad's house, but again, prefers to do his own thing.
He helped Zach blow out the candles and insisted we turn out the lights to sing. It was a nice evening, we all enjoyed being there.
So we have this incentive system (I copied from my sister Joy) where we give Cal small pom-poms in a cup for behaving/listening/sharing, etc. Once the cup is filled Cal gets to pick a reward: TokensNTickets, Putt Putt, Chuck-E-Cheese, whatever. Well, Dan started a cup for Jackson. He is ALL about the pom-poms. He is anxious to fill his cup and go to Build A Bear. [We've GOT to buy stock in that company!] He's become uber-sensitive to directives and inquires, "pom-pom?" at least ten times a day...hey, whatever works, eh?
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Isolation
You know, this shouldn't come as a surprise to me [and I guess it really doesn't], but Jackson certainly prefers to be off alone. He finds his comfort zone and goes there. I suppose I'm thankful that he's learned a coping mechanism for stressful situations.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Camping Out
So I bought the kids a tent...Jackson loves it!
Currently, it's in the back of the little toyota pick-up. Jax was trying to get it into the truck bed while dh was mowing the lawn...so dh put it into the truck for him. He's in there right now...I wonder what it is about that small space? Honestly, I think he'd love sleeping in it; but neither of us could stand to sleep under the stars on the ground with him.
Sometimes, the simplest little things bring joy to Jackson. Wouldn't life be great if all of us found joy that easily?
Currently, it's in the back of the little toyota pick-up. Jax was trying to get it into the truck bed while dh was mowing the lawn...so dh put it into the truck for him. He's in there right now...I wonder what it is about that small space? Honestly, I think he'd love sleeping in it; but neither of us could stand to sleep under the stars on the ground with him.
Sometimes, the simplest little things bring joy to Jackson. Wouldn't life be great if all of us found joy that easily?
Friday, July 20, 2007
Independence
DS ate a veggie burger today. Nuked it and added cheese all by himself. :) He seems to really like to eat things he can prepare for himself: pb & j/mac n cheese/popcorn. The micorwave is his appliance of choice, but he'll try the cooktop every now and then. I'm proud of him: he tried new food and made it for himself! [I'm doing the happy dance].
Thursday, July 19, 2007
In the calm
It's been a good day for ds. He didn't have to be anywhere which makes him happy. We skipped boy scout camp because a storm was threatening (and I didn't want to be stuck in the rain)....he didn't miss it. I wonder if a nt child would have asked about it? Most likely. Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is just that: understanding what NT kids do. My autistic son came first, he sets the bar for me and often times it's off the mark. I try hard not to focus on his typical peers too much. It's actually painful when I ponder it.
Today is calm. I'll just bask in the calm for today....
Today is calm. I'll just bask in the calm for today....
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
A Glimpse
(from June 17)
I think of that Nicholas Cage movie "family man" where he gets a "glimpse" into another life.
I can relate this to my own life and the moments I treasure.
There are these moments for me when I get a glimpse of normalcy. A time when autism ceases to exsist. Like a time warp. These moments are priceless and sometimes come at me like a curveball.
Well, today I had a couple of them. Which for me was like hitting the lottery twice in one day.
My first glimpse: Jackson return kicks a ball down field during a soccer game. Does it like he's done it a hundred times before, but he's never done it before. At this, I am elated! I jump and yell and I think he's unsure of what he did that was so meaningful. Except that we've once again gone through the litany prior to entering the game:
You need to kick the ball Jax, what are you going to do?
Kick the ball.
What will you do?
kick the ball
What will you kick?
the ball
Then, the countless prompts:
kick the ball Jax
You have to run
Go get the ball Jax
Get Tommy
Follow Molly
In that moment, that glimpse, all these fade into the background. It's like life in slow motion as my baby defends the ball. It means so much to me; yet I wonder, does it mean anything to him?
Ok, so I'm content with the glimpse, I won't ponder the complexities of it.
Next, we're at the amusement park. He loves it here and so do we. When we're here as a family, we feel accepted. We feel validated. We feel like we belong [Lord, that in itself is priceless]. It's our first trip of the season and Jackson flits from one ride to the next seemingly on a mission to ride each ride he's missed all winter. Later in the day, when DH and I are both a suffereing motion sickness from all the rides we let both boys ride together on the "flying scooters". [Dh is reluctant, unsure it's safe. I'm certain they'll be fine]. Jax too, is a bit unsure but decides he'll ride with Cal. So this glimpse [tears here] lasts 2 minutes as I watch my two boys filled with joy fly through the air laughing, giggling, squealing together.
There is nothing else in the world for me in those minutes. Just a heart growing warmer, a love growing deeper. Just a glimpse of what might have been between two brothers....
I can't help but think of what is between these brothers. For Jackson, it's unconditional love. For Callahan, it's curious love.
So, today I got two glimpses. I love them. Maybe I shouldn't admit that.
I think of that Nicholas Cage movie "family man" where he gets a "glimpse" into another life.
I can relate this to my own life and the moments I treasure.
There are these moments for me when I get a glimpse of normalcy. A time when autism ceases to exsist. Like a time warp. These moments are priceless and sometimes come at me like a curveball.
Well, today I had a couple of them. Which for me was like hitting the lottery twice in one day.
My first glimpse: Jackson return kicks a ball down field during a soccer game. Does it like he's done it a hundred times before, but he's never done it before. At this, I am elated! I jump and yell and I think he's unsure of what he did that was so meaningful. Except that we've once again gone through the litany prior to entering the game:
You need to kick the ball Jax, what are you going to do?
Kick the ball.
What will you do?
kick the ball
What will you kick?
the ball
Then, the countless prompts:
kick the ball Jax
You have to run
Go get the ball Jax
Get Tommy
Follow Molly
In that moment, that glimpse, all these fade into the background. It's like life in slow motion as my baby defends the ball. It means so much to me; yet I wonder, does it mean anything to him?
Ok, so I'm content with the glimpse, I won't ponder the complexities of it.
Next, we're at the amusement park. He loves it here and so do we. When we're here as a family, we feel accepted. We feel validated. We feel like we belong [Lord, that in itself is priceless]. It's our first trip of the season and Jackson flits from one ride to the next seemingly on a mission to ride each ride he's missed all winter. Later in the day, when DH and I are both a suffereing motion sickness from all the rides we let both boys ride together on the "flying scooters". [Dh is reluctant, unsure it's safe. I'm certain they'll be fine]. Jax too, is a bit unsure but decides he'll ride with Cal. So this glimpse [tears here] lasts 2 minutes as I watch my two boys filled with joy fly through the air laughing, giggling, squealing together.
There is nothing else in the world for me in those minutes. Just a heart growing warmer, a love growing deeper. Just a glimpse of what might have been between two brothers....
I can't help but think of what is between these brothers. For Jackson, it's unconditional love. For Callahan, it's curious love.
So, today I got two glimpses. I love them. Maybe I shouldn't admit that.
from the beach
Ever Wondered? (June 25)
We were at the zoo today. It was hot, but the boys had a great time as usual.
We rode the new sky ride and the zoo worker running the ride was less than patient with Jax (which is unusual for the zoo). Well, it got me thinking, for the first time really:
When other people see Jackson what do they see?
Do they see the innocence in his deep blue eyes?
Do they see contentment on his face?
Do they see they see the victory he is just by being in a public place?
Do they see the purity of his heart?
Do they see the struggle he faces?
Probably not. My guess is they see a "big kid" acting little. They see a rude young man who doesn't 'listen'. They sometimes look curious, or appalled or worse judgemental.
Just my thought of the day....
We were at the zoo today. It was hot, but the boys had a great time as usual.
We rode the new sky ride and the zoo worker running the ride was less than patient with Jax (which is unusual for the zoo). Well, it got me thinking, for the first time really:
When other people see Jackson what do they see?
Do they see the innocence in his deep blue eyes?
Do they see contentment on his face?
Do they see they see the victory he is just by being in a public place?
Do they see the purity of his heart?
Do they see the struggle he faces?
Probably not. My guess is they see a "big kid" acting little. They see a rude young man who doesn't 'listen'. They sometimes look curious, or appalled or worse judgemental.
Just my thought of the day....
The Beginning
My son is a gift. His smile is priceless; his laugh contagious. Without words, my son speaks volumes. He is autistic. But he is ever so much more. Autism is a journey, not a joy ride.
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