Company

We had some friends from out of town stay at our house Saturday night.
Jackson just had a complete blast "playing" with Uncle Russ. He put his sleeping bag on his head and pretended to be a ghost! He was really engaging Russ which was totally fabulous especially considering this is a person he sees just once or twice a year.

Having said that, Jackson has an almost 6th sense about people. It's like he can sense whether or not they are kind hearted and sensitive toward others. He'll take more to certain people than others and definitely knows when/where he's not "safe".

Out of Sorts

I should have seen it coming...famous last words.
School has been out for ten days now; let the meltdowns begin.

He just cannot seem to handle one day to the next; though he isn't at all anxious to get back to school. He's seems content enough to watch movies, play on the computer and chase around his brother, but deep down, something stirs inside him, and that 'thing' awakens at the slightest upset. Then, begins the downward spiral.

Today, when he had to give Cal a turn on the computer he wandered around the house, angry. His language came out, but made no sense. He used emotional phrases, "I said sit down!" or "I'm not calling Gage!" He used words over and over; phrases he's heard before. It's like he has to borrow anger.

It's strange how he craves order; how organized chaos throws him. Admitedly, even Cal is having his share of meltdowns, and I'm getting cabin fever.

School doesn't start until the 8th; God be with him!

Ho-Ho Holiday and Whack-A-Mole Tower

Oh what fun it is to ride from house to house on Christmas day!
Actually, Jackson did quite well this year. After an initial snafu.

The boys get gifts from so many relatives that I generally let them open packages as they come during the holiday season. This year, the first package arrived from Auntie Joy in Texas. She sent these very cool snap together dinosaurs for Cal, which he promptly sat down and played with for an hour ;). Jackson got a Melissa & Doug instrument set, which was actually perfect for him (and he now adores); but when it came it was another story. Jackson had decided he wanted Whack a Mole Tower for Christmas [an incredibly annoying game], when the package came from Joy, I think he must have expected it to be Whack a Mole Tower and was very upset that it wasn't. So, began the madness!

My dad had actually bought this game for him, but we hadn't gotten together with them yet. There are times that Jackson understands delayed gratification (waiting) and there are times he's not standing for it. 'Bet you can guess how it went down with Whack a Mole Tower...Thank goodness my dad and his wife were willing to finagle schedules to allow my kids to open their gifts earlier than planned. I just knew if he didn't get this game on Christmas morning, we'd all be miserable until he did...

He opened the game and his response was typical for him (seemingly less than excited). He was even willing to share it with Uncle Darren and Uncle Zack and waited for his turn. I'm thinking he was just holding it all in until we got home. He loves the game and plays it incessantly whacking the mallet and chanting "whack a mole tower, [bam!] whack a mole tower" between each whack. He and Callahan are enjoying it and I'm sure every kid that comes over will take a whack...

That was a few days before Christmas. Christmas morning was fun. We really enjoy the whole Santa gimmick as both boys understand. It's so much more fun now that Jackson 'gets' it'. We're just having trouble explaining that Santa comes just one night a year.

The next challenge will be explaining he has to go back to school...

Holiday Lights and Carriage Rides

We spent most of the evening with Uncle Darren. (My 7 yo little brother, who has really matured in his relationship w/Jackson). We played at grandpa's house, did the paper route with Uncle Zachary; Jackson found it particularly amusing to watch him lean out the window to put papers into paper boxes. [Uncle Zack even 'fell' out of the van on the last paper for effect ;) which left all three little boys giddy with laughter]. Next we headed to Chik-Fil-A for dinner and playtime and then off to the Fantasy of Lights. This is a favored spot every holiday season. Jack really enjoys the displays; it's predictable enough for him... Tonight he spotted the carriage ride a few cars ahead of us and determined he was going to have a carriage ride...

Of course, the Fantasy of Lights carriage was booked for the night, so I took him downtown to the huge Santa light display on the side of the bank building and tried to hail a carriage there. Jack and Darren were impressed with the 'Santa' that drove up in his unique vehicle adorned with lights. Cal asked if he could hide behind me...After visiting this eccentric santa we drove a few blocks to hook up with a carriage driver. [By the way, these carriage rides are like highway robbery: $30 for a half an hour ride? That's a dollar a minute! Come on! I digress,] We're lucky to find a carriage empty and free and set about our journey through downtown to view the lights. All three boys were very excited and really enjoyed the ride. Cal kept saying, "This is the first time I ever rode in a carriage" to which Darren replied, "Me too!" and Jackson just sat back and had fun.

For the first ten minutes that is...

He spent the last 20 minutes trying to understand why this carriage wasn't going to take him back to the fantasy of lights and anxious about the ride being over.

Can I just say, I hate it when autism robs my son of childhood joys...the other two were so taken with the ride, so happy and content. Jackson spent most of his ride anxious, unable to relax and take it for what it was...These are the moments I truly hate it the most. It's so incredibly heartbreaking to have such a fun evening turned sour by his misunderstanding...

Snow Day!

We're all laying in bed at 7:00 am wondering if school will stay delayed or close for the day. Jackson says, "No school today, school is closed." Darn if he wasn't right...we baked Christmas cookies and did loads of laundry today....

Oh Christmas Tree!

Jackson was so excited to help decorate the tree!
He has 5 Halmark NHL player ornaments. The series started the year he was born, but only lasted 5 years...Anyway, he really took ownership of these ornaments and was careful to place them just right on the tree. He was also thrilled with his Kermit the frog, Pooh, and Tigger ornaments. This year, he wasn't stressed out by the ornaments with his picture on them from school....progress?

Here's a Survey

A friend of mine with a college student asked me to answer these questions so her son could use the answers in a research paper. It's interesting:

. Who in your family has Autism?
My 10 yo son Jackson

2. How does Autism affect your life?
Autism really impacts every aspect of our life; from where we live & work to what we're having for dinner. When Jackson was diagnosed I detoured my career as a school administrator to work part time as a teacher in order to be available to meet his needs. At the time, I thought it was a temporary set back. That was 6 years ago. When he was younger we had to be careful about where we took him. Crowds, new people and places were difficult for him. We consistently had plan B. It strained our relationship with family members who didn't understand why he wasn't "disciplined". It affects how we parent our NT son who is 4. As Jackson has gotten older, it's gotten easier, but only because we know better what to expect from him and he has matured to the point where he can understand and communicate difficulties.

3. What therapies have been done to help?
What hasn't? We started with GFCF diet and SuperNuThera vitamins. When we saw minimal progress, we abandoned the diet. We tried to continue with the vitamins. He's had ST and OT since the dx. He did have some developmental therapy. He went to a private TEACCH pre-schoool. He had VB individual tutor in kdg. At this point, we're focusing on social skills and life skills (IE: job skills)

4. How does it affect their school life?
We're very fortunate to live in a supportive and encouraging community. But, I"m always on the offensive to be sure that he is able to remain in his local school with his peers. He attends an intensive needs classroom part of the day and eats lunch, has recess, library, science, gym, art, music & computer lab with is NT peers. He's also in boy scouts and intramural gymnastics.

5. Does Autism affect going out to places / gatherings?
Definitely, too many people can be difficult for him. We planned our vacation to Disney world during it's least busy time of the year to be certain he would enjoy it. Again, this is definitely improving with age and maturity.

6. What is the most difficult part of Autism?
The everyday heartbreak. It's giving up on my hopes and dreams I knit into his soul as an infant and accepting that his happiness and being content are enough. It's also so very hard to witness his struggle to so badly want to participate in something, to be a part of something, but for that thing to be so overwhelming to him. It is such a quagmire for him. I so badly then want to extract every ounce of autism from his being.

7. What should schools & doctors improve on to help Autism?
Knowledge is power! Schools need to be more forthright regarding rights under IDEA

8. How do others you know view Autism?
I think the puzzle piece is a great 'icon' for autism. It's puzzling. Others want to know more, but knowing more sometimes makes it all the more puzzling.

9. How does Autism affect your career?
(See above) My career path is permanently changed. I currently work part time as a teacher and I'm not certain when/if I'll go back full time...

10. What do you think can be done to prevent Autism?
I'm really not sure. If I knew, I'd be telling the world!