The Struggle of Late

We're celebrating that Jackson is more actively choosing to play in the toy room. Cal is mourning. Here is a glimpse:

Cal playing shake up race cars and having them crash into mini dinosaurs.
Jax playing dinosaurs decides to pick up a mini dinosaur.
Cal screams
Jax screams
Both go back to separate playing.
Then Jax picks up a shake up car.
Cal yells NO
Jax screams.

How can I get my four year old to understand how HUGE it is for Jackson to be initiating this play? I'll keep working at it; I'm learning as I go. Believe me, I'm making my share of mistakes!

Pondering the Party

Jackson turns 10 soon. That in itself is enough to give me a coronary; but now I also have to try and decide how to best celebrate his birthday. We were going to skip the party this year b/c we spent a small fortune at Disney, but then I realized this may be one of his last parties. So, I at first decided to go with Build A Bear b/c Jackson loves it and his friends still seem to as well. But, as I thought more about it, I worried about the coolness factor that becomes for most boys around 10....

I cancelled with BABW and booked with Lazer X and I'm hoping and praying Jackson handles it ok and is actually able to ENJOY himself...

Environmental Audit

I talked to Jackson's teacher the day of open house. She was curious about his activities/behaviors at home. It got me thinking about how he spends his time at home. Today, I really paid attention to it (basically from 3:00 on). So here is a synopsis:

3:00 asks me to build a fire: "fire? you build a fire?"

3:15 goes outside to the fire pit

3:20 brings out 25 stuffed animals to enjoy the fire

[don't want to continue w/the times...]

put Pooh on a lawn chair to enjoy the fire

stimmed on the phrase: "pooh is in the fire pit" repeating it at least 50 times

put a blanket around Pooh

dropped sticks in the fire pit

swung on the swing set

fed pooh pizza

knocked on the door and said: "daddy come outside"

later came inside and played on Noggin.com

asked to go on a bike ride

All in all, I was pleased with this. I thought I might be disappointed; that there would be an excessive amount of stimming; excessive inappropriate behavior. Yes, he's autistic. Yes, there were certainly times he was "stuck in his own world" but all in all, I wasn't disappointed....

Wow Wow Wubzy!

Tonight was Open House at school for Jack. This event has been a struggle in the past. Jax view is: "Hey, I already went to school once today, why would I want to go back?" So, given our current circumstances I decided to forego the open house.

I picked him up from school and we stopped by the book fair before coming home. All week he's been on a kick, "Daddy will bring you a prize, Daddy bring you wow, wow wubzy or go Diego go" He really hammered this idea and I finally put it together last night and realized he must have seen a book at the book fair. Sure enough, there was a Wubzy book right next to a Diego book. At first, he acted like he didn't want it, but then asked to put it in his bookbag.

Of course, we now have the Wubzy book in our collection...

Soccer Success!!!

We started the fall soccer season tonight. I figured Jack might not want to go to practice as he's still adjusting to being home and back in school. So, I asked him if he wanted to go to soccer and he said, "yeah, soccer". This was really a surprise!

We hustled into soccer clothes waited for Dad to make it home and headed to the field. He has an excellent coach! Dave is focused on fundamentals which is a perfect match for Jackson. He's made such a marked improvement since he started soccer. It's so exciting for us to witness the change and growth. We're humbled and so grateful for the community we live in; so willing to include and accommodate him...

The first game is Saturday.

BTW, Cal is starting his first season of soccer Saturday too! ;)

Beyond Disney

So, I just read that post and noticed [again] the date. How could I forget?

Where were you on September 11th?

I found out about the planes hitting the towers on my way back to work from a home visit with a family notorious for truancy. I'm driving down highway 6 and hear a live interruption on the radio. I don't honestly remember which plane it was, but I remember being panicked and just wanting to go home and hug my son. Dan was home and hadn't even turned on the TV yet; when he did, I could just hear his reaction over the phone: shock, disbelief...

Then, there was my job. Trying to decide how to handle 650 kids and 35 teachers with different ideas about how/what to tell them. Parents coming in and out of the building all day to pick up kids; they didn't know what else to do but hug kids close to them. The three Arabic families who all but disappeared in the weeks after the attacks...I still wonder about those families...

The date isn't one you'll forget. Probably like what it was like to be alive when:
Pearl Harbor was attacked
We dropped the bomb in Japan
JFK was assassinated
NASA landed on the moon
MLK was assassinated
Elvis died
The shuttle exploded (1986)
Princess Diana died

It also strikes me, that on 9/11/01 I was just coming to terms with the idea that my son had autism. I was probably still a bit in the state of denial. Still hoping beyond hope something would change that diagnosis; that somehow the child nuerologist was wrong and the 4 other professionals who danced around the a-word were right...

God Bless America, bless those who lost a loved one in the horror. Bless the heros who put their fellow man and country before themselves. Keep us safe.

So Here's the Thing

We had a good time at Disney. It was wonderful to be there when there weren't many people and definitely magical to see Jackson hugging Pooh, Tigger and Stitch; humorous to have Cal hiding under the table from the same characters.

But....

The thing is, it didn't start off great. In fact, though there were moments of greatness, I wasn't ready for the let down. No matter how much we prepare or what accommodations we make, the things is, Jackson still has AUTISM. So, it takes him time to settle in. It takes time to adjust; take it all in. The truth: I wasn't prepared for that. I thought I had my ducks in a row (we scheduled our visit for the least busy time of the year, traveled at times accommodating to his schedule and just hung out at the hotel pool Sunday); thought I could spare him anxiety and meltdowns. I can't. He has autism.

Sorry to be a downer, it just sucks that once again, autism colors our world. And truly it is our world. Our family is colored by this disability. Our experiences, joys, travels, everything is colored; kind of like the puzzle pieces that have become the autism icon.

Disney was great. Epcot was truly a family favorite; we all enjoyed Soarin and the Test Track. Both boys loved Buzz Lightyear and the Dumbo Elephants. We were all scared half to death in the dinosaur ride and my eternal favorite remains "It's a Small World". It was magical, it was larger than life. Just not larger than life with autism.....

thinking back

We're getting ready to fly to Orlando; so excited about visiting Disney! Thinking about flying reminds me of the last time we flew to see my sister in Texas. I kept telling Jax "we're going to fly on the plane to see Cora and Lukie". I didn't think much about this, and told Jack several times we'd see Cora and Luke.

Well, after the long drive to O'hare and a delayed flight, we finally boarded the plan. And Jackson's first words as we entered the plane, "Where are the kids?"

I spent the flight trying to explain that we'd be staying at Cora's house and sleeping there. It was heartbreaking and I felt like an idiot for forgetting how literal Jackson can be.

So, as we prepare to visit Disney, we're sure to tell him we'll be sleeping there, and swimming, and so much more!!!