Camouflage

P & P were with us for our Fun Friday adventure. Today we travelled to Muncie and visited the Children's Museum there. We've been there a handful of times before and Jackson especially enjoys the Garfield exhibits.

During our visit I observed two other obviously autistic boys. One younger than Jax exploring the water table with squeals and even got his head wet! His (mother?) by his side doing hand over hand with him, talking/prompting quietly. The other boy a teen with a 'shadow' trying to manipulate the human 'ant hill' which kids are able to crawl through.

I was struck at how obviously disabled these two boys were. Then, I looked back at my precious blue eyed boy and wondered....

We're over at the ant hill now. The four kids are crawling up down and around the structure. The teen boy becomes stuck in the ant hill; the shadow struggling to help him out, apologizing. "No big deal, my son is autistic" I let her know. "He is??" she responds and seems surprised...

Wow...just wow. But, then again, yeah. This is how it goes. Watch my little man (growing ever so taller by the day) and he seems so normal; especially in a place he's comfortable and familiar. But then, really observe him and you'll see; no you'll hear. Conversation? One sided. Interaction with others? Non-existent.

No, my dear boy isn't splashing his head into the water fountain or crying out from being stuck in the ant hill he's too large to play in. Instead, he's camouflaged by appearance. That and his generally quiet presence...

Wait, she must have missed his jumping (stimming, excited) as he watched the toy train clack along the track.

Do I love him any less? Do I give him any more? What did I do right? What did I miss and do wrong? Will he be like this as a teen? Was he ever like that before?