We usually ride bikes to the Magic Wand at least once a week in the summer. The boys love going for the ice cream and I hope it's something they'll remember fondly.
Today, while I was cleaning out the garage, Callahan was desperate for someone to swim with. Luckily for me, Matt drove by with Taylor and Jeremiah who were both happy to hang out with the boys for a while. After I'd finished the garage, we were ready to start on a walk to McDonald's for some ice cream when our neighbor stopped to let the boys know a turtle was crossing the street if they were interested...are you kidding, my boys and a reptile, bet you can see where it ended up...we now have a resident turtle on our front porch. I think his name is "Racy Leonardo" but it depends on Cal's mood...I'm hoping to keep him alive and healthy enough to compete in Turtle Day's Turtle races next week. Perfect timing!
Once we settled the turtle we headed off on the walk toward McDonald's (which is actually right across the street from the Magic Wand, but decidedly less expensive). It was great weather, not too hot, but just hot enough to make the thought of ice cream at the end of the walk worth the effort of getting there. As we walked, Jeremiah entertained Callahan--who was thrilled to have a "big boy" engaging and rough-housing with him. As we neared the post office parking lot, I asked Jeremiah to hold on to Cal's hand until we crossed the few lots in a row. Cal didn't bat an eye at holding his hand. A couple of blocks later, Jeremiah instinctively took Cal's hand as they crossed one of the side blocks and I just about started to cry.
It was one of my "glimpse" moments, only a very sad one. For a fleeting moment I imagined the kind of big brother Jackson would be [believe me, he is a fabulous big brother, but there are things autism takes without asking and well, that moment illustrated it for me]. Until today, I never considered Jackson as an older brother without autism. Cal's whole life--even before he was conceived--autism has been a factor.
Watching Jeremiah hold his hand and seeing Cal so thoughtlessly taking it; trusting it--was heartbreaking. Another page in our book of autism...
In the end, Jackson had a great time at McDonald's. We all did, and I tried not to give much thought to it. Life is too short to dwell on the heartbreak. [Right now, tonight though, I'll shed a few tears and allow myself another moment of grief...]
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