Tuesday, April 29, 2008

If I could-

take the autism out of Jackson would I? It's a profound (relatively moot) question. My gut reaction and answer are always the same. Yes, in a heartbeat. My son has so much potential, so much to give, so much of life to live. In a heartbeat I'd sign up for the surgery, or wait in line for the procedure; beg, borrow and steal to "fix" him.

Some people wonder why we don't chase down every "cure", or investigate more thoroughly some therapies. My answer is simple and complex. If ever the day comes that my son is able to communicate with me in a "neuro-typical" way, I pray that he'll say, "Thanks mom. Thanks for letting me be "autistic" but encouraging me to reach out to others. Thanks for ignoring my stims, but immersing me with my peers. Thanks for embracing my differences while pressing me forward an inch at a time. Thanks for remembering I'm just a kid, like any other and I need to grow, develop and shine in my own time and way." In essence, I need to hear, "thanks for letting me be true to myself".

I go through these periods of self-doubt where I question if we've followed the right path for him. This I know to be true, the world isn't separate and equal. He has to be able to function in the world, not in a world set up just for him....

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