autism is a journey: "My mom is cool!"

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

"My mom is cool!"

Tonight, in the van on the way home from running errands, Jackson busts out in this rap:

"I love my mom, my mom is really cool. But now it's time for having fun in school."

Of course, I was thinking how sweet it was and feeling a bit smug. Dan prompted him to change the verse to include "dad". Then Cal informs us that Jax learned this from Sid the Science Kid on PBS. Well, it's still very sweet, right? ;)

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from "Metaphor-the puzzle piece symbol"

Ever had one of those "ah-ha" moments? I'm driving down the road today, pondering Jackson's recent successes--boyscout camp and football camp. It occurred to me that each experience gave me back a piece of Jackson. [I'm not doing a very good job explaining this...] When we learned about Jackson's diagnosis, so many dreams were snuffed out. We no longer thought about our son becoming an athlete, a scholar, or even a friend. We thought in much smaller terms:"how many words does he have?""did he learn a new sign""is he reaching out to us?""that's playing pretend, isn't it?"Our perspective as parents permanently changed. It's like we had this complete picture of our child and autism fractured it--into a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.Each day little by little, we get pieces of the puzzle back. It'll never be complete, never the same as we expected, but there will be parts that will come together.Like when he participated in the school music program, enjoyed boyscout camp, rode the roller coaster and attended football camp. Bit by bit, we get pieces of what we expected back.Of course, the flip side of this is all the joys we gain from Jackson that we never expected in spite of the autism, but that's another post my friends....