Last night we went with the Youth Group to Lazer tag. It was a lot of fun, Jax really enjoyed "playing". He generally just wandered around the arena, shooting at random things, and enjoyed the sensory blast that used to overwhelm him. I am happy that he had a good time, but it's a little bittersweet. It's almost painful to watch him; so unaware of the point of the game. I know that I should be content with his joy, but I'm just not. It made his autism so evident, so in my face that at times I just wanted to cry. One step forward, two steps back, that's how it kinda goes isn't it?
He did have a lot of fun, and enjoyed himself. It didn't faze him one bit, and in a way it's a blessing that he doesn't know what he doesn't know. I just wish it didn't break my heart to watch it happen.
And, once again, the kids he's grown up with stepped up and had his back. We went to IHOP for "breakfast" afterward. The kids were grouping up, getting tables. When Jax became aware of what was happening he asked for one of his friends (more than one time--in his own way by repeating his name). This sweet, kind kid made room for us in his group like it was no big deal. He may never know what a big deal it is to me.
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