It's in there

Today Jackson said, "I watch Rugrats."
I asked, "when did you watch Rugrats?"
He responded: "at the Y."
me: "Yes, you did watch Rugrats at the Y. Did you like it?"
J: "yeah"

It was over 4 years ago, but he did watch the Rugrats at the Y pretty regularly. I had to laugh out loud at his comment, as I'm amazed at its relevance.

It strikes me that so much is trapped inside his mind, as he struggles to find a way to make sense of it; to put it all in order. We get random comments like this from time to time, that seem to make sense.

A few years back it was "Meagan likes popcorn" a throw back to his time in pre-school with Meagan, who did indeed like popcorn.

It's in there...just waiting to come out...

I watched just bits of the Dateline piece on autism and vaccines. At the risk of sounding petty and self-centered, I admit that all this research ("being on the verge great things coming out of the recent research in the next couple of years") means so very little to me. Will it ever help recover my son? Nothing can give back to us the things we have lost to autism. Nothing. Even with a "cure" his life has been so radically different from "normal". Generally, I try not to focus on this. Try to look on the "bright side" and enjoy and celebrate my son for who and what he is. There are times though, that emotions are raw and I'm left feeling frustrated.

More on vaccines, autism and how it relates to Jackson another day.