Behind his eyes

There are moments when I look into my sons eyes and see something more. At times, there is something so clear and so knowing in his eyes; as though he is at peace with who he is. That look should bring me contentment. I know it should, but it doesn't. It's a look that is both beautiful and heartbreaking for me.

Heartbreaking because, I want so much more for him. I hope for so much more for him. Beautiful because, contentment is not easily achieved for many, and there it is in my sons eyes. There is something to be learned there. I know that God must be teaching me through this.

I struggle to be content with who he is, struggle to accept that there are many things he cannot do. This, of course, is balanced by pure love; pure love and pride in all that he achieves. I celebrate victories in everyday occurrences that other parents take for granted. I value small steps toward big milestones that I never knew existed. I believe, beyond hope, that there is greatness in my sons future. That greatness may be unorthodox, but it will be great nonetheless.

So next time I see that look. I'll try hard to see it with a light and grateful heart; and remind myself of the greatness that lies within him.